Sheriff Gooper
@agentgooper.bsky.social
Fan of poop jokes
Moby Dick repost account
Been watching Westerns
SKOL
Moby Dick repost account
Been watching Westerns
SKOL
Pinned
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
I am introducing the Cut It Out And This Time I Really Mean It bill. It provides an additional $57 billion to the murder goons but they will agree to wear business casual Monday through Thursday and if they do any murders they have to put a dollar in this jar.
January 28, 2026 at 11:05 PM
I am introducing the Cut It Out And This Time I Really Mean It bill. It provides an additional $57 billion to the murder goons but they will agree to wear business casual Monday through Thursday and if they do any murders they have to put a dollar in this jar.
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
MY TAKE: Each of the four Grand Slam tournaments should have a different name for tennis rackets. At the U.S. Open, they're rackets. At Wimbledon, they're racquets. At the French Open, they're racquettes. At the Australian Open, of course, they're gonzeroolies
January 27, 2026 at 2:45 PM
MY TAKE: Each of the four Grand Slam tournaments should have a different name for tennis rackets. At the U.S. Open, they're rackets. At Wimbledon, they're racquets. At the French Open, they're racquettes. At the Australian Open, of course, they're gonzeroolies
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
Pro Football Hall of Famer John Randle posted a statement about ICE as text overlays on various portraits of himself and I kind of love it
January 26, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Pro Football Hall of Famer John Randle posted a statement about ICE as text overlays on various portraits of himself and I kind of love it
This and some Tom Waits >>>
Title Cards by Isabella Watling in Wake Up Dead Man (2025) dir. Rian Johnson
January 26, 2026 at 11:36 PM
This and some Tom Waits >>>
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
As seen on r/nursing
Alex Pretti's coworkers taking a moment of silence to honor him
Alex Pretti's coworkers taking a moment of silence to honor him
January 26, 2026 at 10:01 PM
As seen on r/nursing
Alex Pretti's coworkers taking a moment of silence to honor him
Alex Pretti's coworkers taking a moment of silence to honor him
Title Cards by Isabella Watling in Wake Up Dead Man (2025) dir. Rian Johnson
January 26, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Title Cards by Isabella Watling in Wake Up Dead Man (2025) dir. Rian Johnson
Title cards from my letterboxd top 4:
January 26, 2026 at 8:54 PM
Title cards from my letterboxd top 4:
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
most letters never reach their mark; and many are only received after attaining an age of two or three years or more
January 26, 2026 at 5:47 PM
most letters never reach their mark; and many are only received after attaining an age of two or three years or more
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
i'm so excited for tomorrow i can't even sleep. monday is the most magical day of the week, because it's only four days away from whiskey friday with tony dokoupil. that's almost as close to whiskey friday with tony dokoupil as you can get
January 26, 2026 at 5:49 AM
i'm so excited for tomorrow i can't even sleep. monday is the most magical day of the week, because it's only four days away from whiskey friday with tony dokoupil. that's almost as close to whiskey friday with tony dokoupil as you can get
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
rightwingers see people caring about others in their community and instead of finding that inspiring they think it’s some sort of grand conspiracy because they don’t understand what it means to care for others you don’t personally know
January 25, 2026 at 7:57 PM
rightwingers see people caring about others in their community and instead of finding that inspiring they think it’s some sort of grand conspiracy because they don’t understand what it means to care for others you don’t personally know
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
Kare 11 local news just read, in full, this statement from Michael and Susan Pretti, the parents of Alex Pretti.
"Please get the truth out about our son."
"Please get the truth out about our son."
January 25, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Kare 11 local news just read, in full, this statement from Michael and Susan Pretti, the parents of Alex Pretti.
"Please get the truth out about our son."
"Please get the truth out about our son."
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
This was the start of the interaction between Alex Pretti and federal agents. He was dead less than a minute later, without making any aggressive or threatening movements toward the agents. DHS, Miler, Bondi, and any number of others are lying because it serves their agenda & there’s no consequences
We’re supposed to believe this is a domestic terrorist attacking ICE with a gun
January 24, 2026 at 10:09 PM
This was the start of the interaction between Alex Pretti and federal agents. He was dead less than a minute later, without making any aggressive or threatening movements toward the agents. DHS, Miler, Bondi, and any number of others are lying because it serves their agenda & there’s no consequences
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
Here, now, are two great whales, laying their heads together; let us join them
January 24, 2026 at 5:47 AM
Here, now, are two great whales, laying their heads together; let us join them
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
man’s insanity is heaven’s sense
January 22, 2026 at 5:47 PM
man’s insanity is heaven’s sense
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
The Vikings have signed defensive coordinator Brian Flores to a new contract, sources tell me and @rapsheet.bsky.social
Flores is still a candidate with the Steelers and Ravens head coaching jobs. But if he doesn’t land one of those, he’ll stay in Minnesota.
Flores is still a candidate with the Steelers and Ravens head coaching jobs. But if he doesn’t land one of those, he’ll stay in Minnesota.
January 22, 2026 at 12:21 AM
The Vikings have signed defensive coordinator Brian Flores to a new contract, sources tell me and @rapsheet.bsky.social
Flores is still a candidate with the Steelers and Ravens head coaching jobs. But if he doesn’t land one of those, he’ll stay in Minnesota.
Flores is still a candidate with the Steelers and Ravens head coaching jobs. But if he doesn’t land one of those, he’ll stay in Minnesota.
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
it’s against my principles to drink with the man I’ve diddled
January 20, 2026 at 1:47 PM
it’s against my principles to drink with the man I’ve diddled
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
no doubt the first man that ever murdered an ox was regarded as a murderer
January 20, 2026 at 1:47 AM
no doubt the first man that ever murdered an ox was regarded as a murderer
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
FRAUDS CONFIRMED
January 19, 2026 at 3:04 AM
FRAUDS CONFIRMED
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
and the last whale, like the last man, smoke his last pipe, and then himself evaporate in the final puff
January 18, 2026 at 5:47 AM
and the last whale, like the last man, smoke his last pipe, and then himself evaporate in the final puff
Sean Payton deserves every bad thing that has and ever will happen to him and his endeavors.
January 18, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Sean Payton deserves every bad thing that has and ever will happen to him and his endeavors.
Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Cr
January 16, 2026 at 11:45 PM
Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Criterion Point Blank Cr
Reposted by Sheriff Gooper
kirking charles or charlie kirking *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*
kirking hard or...hardly kirking? *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*
working hard or..charkie kirking?
*EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. LIGHTS CUT. CROWD GOES SILENT. DEAFENING HUM OF A BUZZ SAW PERMEATES THE AIR. SCREAMS FOLLOW.*
kirking hard or...hardly kirking? *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*
working hard or..charkie kirking?
*EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. LIGHTS CUT. CROWD GOES SILENT. DEAFENING HUM OF A BUZZ SAW PERMEATES THE AIR. SCREAMS FOLLOW.*
January 16, 2026 at 5:06 AM
kirking charles or charlie kirking *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*
kirking hard or...hardly kirking? *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*
working hard or..charkie kirking?
*EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. LIGHTS CUT. CROWD GOES SILENT. DEAFENING HUM OF A BUZZ SAW PERMEATES THE AIR. SCREAMS FOLLOW.*
kirking hard or...hardly kirking? *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*
working hard or..charkie kirking?
*EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. LIGHTS CUT. CROWD GOES SILENT. DEAFENING HUM OF A BUZZ SAW PERMEATES THE AIR. SCREAMS FOLLOW.*