ever since I was born i have thought about everything constantly. and, do you know what, it’s still the main thing I do. I am always thinking about everything

person: hey—

me: you ever had to try 9 brands of imitation crab one right after the other buddy? Hm? You ever had to Fucking eat so much imitation crab you dream of it for weeks? hm? it’s nice to see you. What’s it been? 19 years?

Hot take: 'Conclave' deserved more Oscars

I’ve always disliked Drake (even when I liked some of his songs) cause he always gave me a bad vibe… and now I’m glad we’re all in the same page

Everything sucks and P!NK is still the most underrated pop star out there and I’m not asking for us to do something about it cause we have so much other things to do rn but lets circle back on this

aloha, tiktok users! just a heads up, here on bluesky, we keep it a little chiller! so if you're having a mental breakdown, don't make a big fuss, just quietly signal the mods by beginning and ending an otherwise unrelated post with the same word. any word will do, even something silly like aloha

Streaming I consumed in the past 8+ hrs I spent on the couch: the Emilia Perez movie, Charlie Browns Christmas and Thanksgiving specials, about 30 mins of that interview with the guy who received a supposed email from the guy who blew up that Tesla, several episodes of Everybody Feed Phil.

10/10

I feel like I voted and then it was like Santos and Ash and me just trying to heat up my left over turkey and mash potatoes…

That Christmas Corona commercial with the lit up palm tree is very much a part of me. #MerryChristmas

How do I tactfully ask my friend if she’s the PetSmart Santa

My 4yr old niece put a cherry tomato on her nose & asked me who she looked like. I said “a clown”. She said “No, Rudolph!”. I still think we can both be right.

Ssshhh I’m sleeping

Heard someone say their height and I immediately craved a subway sandwich. I’m sick.

This time around, the Kennedys are assassinating us.

What idiot called that little narc Elf on the Shelf and not Police Navidad?

Nothing puts me in my place like Spotify wrapped

Kinda miss how in its golden years the other place would’ve been all over that lady who told America to go bowling & that scared lady behind Michelle Williams performance… but I’m thankful for a new hang spot & a 2nd chance. Hi Bluesky! #Macysthanksgivingdayparade #Happythanksgiving