Just wanted to make a cute retro TV joke on Threads but the bots can’t let me have nice things. They also can’t read.

Pete Hegseth Calls For Steep Cuts To Number Of Steps In AA Recovery

Ladies!! Tips on how to give a good BJ:

-open wide
-wider!
-unhinge your jaw
-swallow him whole
-take a nap to digest
-absorb his life force
-you're a snake god now

was watching The Residence (it’s amazing, watch it) and I was thinking if they ever try to reboot AbFab again they should cast Shelia the Butler. And then I realized the actress’s NAME IS EDWINA. I’ve cracked the code! (Also Edwina Findley is amazing, put her in everything)

The ACCURACY 🎉🎉🎉

So mystified that apparently enough people still buy James Patterson’s books that he can now just pick a celeb, put both their names on the cover, and then get a random third person to actually write the book.

According to the NYT crossword, literally every genre of music is emo

“Get in, loser, we’re crashing the stock market.”

We’re all over the map on this one but the most important takeaway is that when you are referring to my intellectual capacity I prefer if you call it my “lady brain” not my “woman brain”.

I feel like it wasn’t made fully clear to me just how much of middle age involves bags of ice and heating pads

Fairfield, CT tonight!!!!! W @jackiekashian.bsky.social! We are almost there in a Chevy Malibu! shucommunitytheatre.showare.com/eventperform... If no $, LMK at ariamaamfordba@gmail and I’ll get you in!

RECOMMENDATIONS PLEASE! I need songs that jack you up! I’m looking for anthems, building crescendos, inspiring lyrics- think This Is Me from The Greatest Showman (Keala Settle 🔥🔥🔥)

youtu.be/Rj4Yu9Utdw0?...

Hi, I’m new here! I’m a long form interviewer (The Breakdown M-F 3-5pm ET SiriusXM ch 167); I run a comedy record label (Howl & Roar) and I have a podcast with my brother, comedian Jon Dore (Brother Sister Podcast).