Andy Penman
@andypenman85.bsky.social
Here for jokes and fantasy football, mostly. A Jesus guy in (more or less) Glasgow
Pinned
Andy Penman
@andypenman85.bsky.social
· Aug 15
#FPL 2025-26, let’s go! Starting with double Liverpool, Palace, Chelsea, Villa and Forest…plus a solitary Man City ✌️
December 21, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Reposted by Andy Penman
December 19, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Reposted by Andy Penman
[knock on stable door]
MARY: hello?
WISE MAN: uh, hi. this is gonna sound mad but
WISE MAN 2: a star told us to come here?
MARY:
WISE MAN: ...to... look at a baby?
MARY: ...what are you talking about
WISE MEN:
MARY: hahaha I'm just messing, yeah he's the son of God come on through
WISE MEN: oh YOU
MARY: hello?
WISE MAN: uh, hi. this is gonna sound mad but
WISE MAN 2: a star told us to come here?
MARY:
WISE MAN: ...to... look at a baby?
MARY: ...what are you talking about
WISE MEN:
MARY: hahaha I'm just messing, yeah he's the son of God come on through
WISE MEN: oh YOU
December 17, 2025 at 4:05 PM
[knock on stable door]
MARY: hello?
WISE MAN: uh, hi. this is gonna sound mad but
WISE MAN 2: a star told us to come here?
MARY:
WISE MAN: ...to... look at a baby?
MARY: ...what are you talking about
WISE MEN:
MARY: hahaha I'm just messing, yeah he's the son of God come on through
WISE MEN: oh YOU
MARY: hello?
WISE MAN: uh, hi. this is gonna sound mad but
WISE MAN 2: a star told us to come here?
MARY:
WISE MAN: ...to... look at a baby?
MARY: ...what are you talking about
WISE MEN:
MARY: hahaha I'm just messing, yeah he's the son of God come on through
WISE MEN: oh YOU
Reposted by Andy Penman
Christmas CANCELLED in London 💔🎄
December 9, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Christmas CANCELLED in London 💔🎄
On the one hand: oh dear, Calafiori’s yellow card means I won’t have double Arsenal defence for their next game v Wolves
On the other hand: neither will anyone else at this rate so it’s fine
On the mysterious other other hand: 1 clean sheet in their last 6 all comps. So…🤷🏻♂️?
#FPL
On the other hand: neither will anyone else at this rate so it’s fine
On the mysterious other other hand: 1 clean sheet in their last 6 all comps. So…🤷🏻♂️?
#FPL
December 6, 2025 at 5:04 PM
On the one hand: oh dear, Calafiori’s yellow card means I won’t have double Arsenal defence for their next game v Wolves
On the other hand: neither will anyone else at this rate so it’s fine
On the mysterious other other hand: 1 clean sheet in their last 6 all comps. So…🤷🏻♂️?
#FPL
On the other hand: neither will anyone else at this rate so it’s fine
On the mysterious other other hand: 1 clean sheet in their last 6 all comps. So…🤷🏻♂️?
#FPL
27 years ago, at a mere 13 years old, I watched Scotland at their last World Cup fall to glorious defeat against Brazil, fudge a draw against an inferior team, then contrive to lose to Morocco. Next year, my 13 year old son gets to have the same experience. #WorldCup2026
Outlander Scotland GIF
ALT: Outlander Scotland GIF
media.tenor.com
December 5, 2025 at 7:50 PM
27 years ago, at a mere 13 years old, I watched Scotland at their last World Cup fall to glorious defeat against Brazil, fudge a draw against an inferior team, then contrive to lose to Morocco. Next year, my 13 year old son gets to have the same experience. #WorldCup2026
Reposted by Andy Penman
Manager: You design that peace prize trophy for trump?
Sculptor: Sure did boss, the demonic hands of hell grasping as if to drag the entire world down with them, just like you asked.
Manager: Y'know what fine
Sculptor: Sure did boss, the demonic hands of hell grasping as if to drag the entire world down with them, just like you asked.
Manager: Y'know what fine
December 5, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Manager: You design that peace prize trophy for trump?
Sculptor: Sure did boss, the demonic hands of hell grasping as if to drag the entire world down with them, just like you asked.
Manager: Y'know what fine
Sculptor: Sure did boss, the demonic hands of hell grasping as if to drag the entire world down with them, just like you asked.
Manager: Y'know what fine
Robbie Williams and Nicole Scherzinger there, performing a duet like it’s the X Factor Final 2010 all over again.
December 5, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Robbie Williams and Nicole Scherzinger there, performing a duet like it’s the X Factor Final 2010 all over again.
Players I’m sad I won’t own ahead of #FPL #GW14:
- Gakpo
- Foden
- Yeremy Pino
- Thiago
- Mount & Mbeumo
- Rice
- Gakpo
- Foden
- Yeremy Pino
- Thiago
- Mount & Mbeumo
- Rice
a man in a store with the words " there 's so many delicious choices " above him
ALT: a man in a store with the words " there 's so many delicious choices " above him
media.tenor.com
December 2, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Reposted by Andy Penman
"What's a baby deer called?”
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
July 22, 2025 at 9:26 AM
"What's a baby deer called?”
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
Reposted by Andy Penman
When my wife told me Scandinavian languages don't have the letter 'R' I immediately thought: No way!
December 2, 2025 at 9:52 AM
When my wife told me Scandinavian languages don't have the letter 'R' I immediately thought: No way!
Reposted by Andy Penman
i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
December 2, 2025 at 1:39 AM
i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse
Dunno why you’re all getting excited. I’m on a free hit, so Palace and Man United aren’t playing 🤷🏻♂️
November 30, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Dunno why you’re all getting excited. I’m on a free hit, so Palace and Man United aren’t playing 🤷🏻♂️
I was 13 years old when Scotland last played a game at a World Cup. Next summer, my 13 year old and his 10 year old wee brother will get to enjoy it for the first time. What a world! 🏴🏴🏴
#SCODEN #ICanBoogie #FIFAWorldCup
#SCODEN #ICanBoogie #FIFAWorldCup
November 18, 2025 at 10:31 PM
I was 13 years old when Scotland last played a game at a World Cup. Next summer, my 13 year old and his 10 year old wee brother will get to enjoy it for the first time. What a world! 🏴🏴🏴
#SCODEN #ICanBoogie #FIFAWorldCup
#SCODEN #ICanBoogie #FIFAWorldCup
Reposted by Andy Penman
Scotland’s First Minister addresses the nation
November 18, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Scotland’s First Minister addresses the nation
Reposted by Andy Penman
Reposted by Andy Penman
