Just an average borb
@averagebird.bsky.social
WHITE BOY SHOCK CHINESE RESTAURANT by ordering politely in English and not filming during business hours
January 11, 2026 at 6:00 PM
WHITE BOY SHOCK CHINESE RESTAURANT by ordering politely in English and not filming during business hours
Time makes fools of us all. But I also do that myself. Time could honestly lay off a little.
December 4, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Time makes fools of us all. But I also do that myself. Time could honestly lay off a little.
Found my dad’s KY jelly last night
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving
November 27, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Found my dad’s KY jelly last night
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving
Wishing whoever edited the Wikipedia page for peas to sound like “pee is stored in the balls” a very pleasant evening.
November 18, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Wishing whoever edited the Wikipedia page for peas to sound like “pee is stored in the balls” a very pleasant evening.
Me when it’s the third of September
September 3, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Me when it’s the third of September
Why work hard to develop a personality when novelty socks are cheap and plentiful?
August 27, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Why work hard to develop a personality when novelty socks are cheap and plentiful?
Sitting outside watching a woman play with a baby that has the hairline of a tonsured monk. Ma’am that is not your “special little boy” that is a member of a Holy Order.
July 25, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Sitting outside watching a woman play with a baby that has the hairline of a tonsured monk. Ma’am that is not your “special little boy” that is a member of a Holy Order.
Waking up every day thankful that I slacked off too much in school to become a “debate bro”
Children should not be debate sickos it fucked my brain up worse than any drugs I ever took for a long long time
July 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Waking up every day thankful that I slacked off too much in school to become a “debate bro”
Mama did in fact raise a bitch
July 1, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Mama did in fact raise a bitch
Are you mad that it’s horny or mad that it’s not *your* horny?
June 10, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Are you mad that it’s horny or mad that it’s not *your* horny?
I said a guy reminded me of a Jane Austen novel and he goes “you mean the lady with the chimpanzees?”
May 28, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I said a guy reminded me of a Jane Austen novel and he goes “you mean the lady with the chimpanzees?”
They hit us with mass mooning we respond with mass gooning am I right people?
the founding architects of Dome City did not account for people outside smearing their nude asses against the glass in a targeted campaign of mass mooning
May 2, 2025 at 5:21 PM
They hit us with mass mooning we respond with mass gooning am I right people?
Reposted by Just an average borb
this will save lives
November 9, 2024 at 11:30 PM
this will save lives
“Jeeves, what are they doing on the other site?”
“They’re talking about fighting gorillas and using the n-word.”
“Hm. I think I shall not go out of doors today.”
“They’re talking about fighting gorillas and using the n-word.”
“Hm. I think I shall not go out of doors today.”
April 30, 2025 at 1:25 PM
“Jeeves, what are they doing on the other site?”
“They’re talking about fighting gorillas and using the n-word.”
“Hm. I think I shall not go out of doors today.”
“They’re talking about fighting gorillas and using the n-word.”
“Hm. I think I shall not go out of doors today.”
My plan to get rich is to make stock photos. I will take photos of business people getting mad at laptops and the fat cats will throw their dollars at me. The industry is hot right now
April 26, 2025 at 3:09 AM
My plan to get rich is to make stock photos. I will take photos of business people getting mad at laptops and the fat cats will throw their dollars at me. The industry is hot right now
The Return of Martin Guerre (1982)
You’re Not The Man I Married—You’re Significantly More Attractive And Loving
theonion.com/youre-n...
theonion.com/youre-n...
April 15, 2025 at 6:41 PM
The Return of Martin Guerre (1982)
KOTH just girly things🌸
April 10, 2025 at 10:51 PM
KOTH just girly things🌸
Thank God the CPSC is recalling avocado toast for babies. Kids are starting brunch younger and younger. Today it’s baby avocado toast, next thing you know they’re poaching eggs in the school bathrooms and selling baggies of hollandaise. Talk to your kids about the dangers of brunch today
#RECALL: About 250K Fisher-Price Brunch & Go Stroller Toys recalled. The yolk of the toy egg can crack and create small parts, posing a choking hazard to young children.
Get replacement toy. CONTACT: 855-853-6224 or at www.service.mattel.com.
More: cpsc.gov/Recalls/2025...
Get replacement toy. CONTACT: 855-853-6224 or at www.service.mattel.com.
More: cpsc.gov/Recalls/2025...
April 10, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Thank God the CPSC is recalling avocado toast for babies. Kids are starting brunch younger and younger. Today it’s baby avocado toast, next thing you know they’re poaching eggs in the school bathrooms and selling baggies of hollandaise. Talk to your kids about the dangers of brunch today
Everyday this post gets more prescient, but I’m happy to say my 😂 portfolio is skyrocketing despite these uncertain times
Messaging apps should do a yearly wrap up of your group chats. I need to know how many 😂 reacts I received. When society collapses, these will be the new currency.
April 7, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Everyday this post gets more prescient, but I’m happy to say my 😂 portfolio is skyrocketing despite these uncertain times
Do you think wizards ever go “ugh, I’m tired after pondering the large orb on my desk for hours. Now I can ponder the little orb in my pocket”
March 31, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Do you think wizards ever go “ugh, I’m tired after pondering the large orb on my desk for hours. Now I can ponder the little orb in my pocket”
Mr. Krabs is so afraid of ghosts because he fears they will come to him at night and haunt him out of being a miser.
March 27, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Mr. Krabs is so afraid of ghosts because he fears they will come to him at night and haunt him out of being a miser.
New health goal: eat more fruits and vegetables that look like they have little peepees
March 11, 2025 at 1:24 PM
New health goal: eat more fruits and vegetables that look like they have little peepees
Just changed the filter in my pitcher and the tap water tastes so good now. Better make the most of this high for the next week.
March 6, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Just changed the filter in my pitcher and the tap water tastes so good now. Better make the most of this high for the next week.
But I’m telling you, a shrimp really did fry this rice! You gotta believe me guys!
February 28, 2025 at 7:49 PM
But I’m telling you, a shrimp really did fry this rice! You gotta believe me guys!
If you think about it there should be no such thing as a “ghost outfit.” All ghosts would be naked. But Hollywood isn’t ready for that kind of movie
February 27, 2025 at 3:32 PM
If you think about it there should be no such thing as a “ghost outfit.” All ghosts would be naked. But Hollywood isn’t ready for that kind of movie