Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Busiaco @busia.co · 42m

Our neighbor came by to hassle me about returning the 5 torches I stole from a chest in their home, and my wife (corrupted by a whispering effulgence) sent him hollering and crying to the Plane of Dust.

1 1 6

Reposted by Busiaco

Mr Business @mrbusiness.bsky.social · 7d

First day on the city watch? It's easy, just remember this rhyme:

If they're green you must be mean
If they're blue no can do
If they're red they wind up dead
If they're yellow let it mellow
If they're purple get on your knees and start praying

1 1 7

Busiaco @busia.co · 1h

Well, I mixed this vial labeled Dog Shit with this other vial labeled Repugnant Little Freak. And poof, here you are.

10

Busiaco @busia.co · 14h

Level 6 Dweeb: Technically, water IS a potion.

1 1 23

Busiaco @busia.co · 15h

Umm, so... you keep sending Me these so-called "burnt offerings." You do know I made all those animals in the first place, right?

1 25

Reposted by Busiaco

Satchel Charge @satchelcharge.bsky.social · 16h

Scraping a few gold crumbs off my ingot for payment at the end of your shift

1 19

Busiaco @busia.co · 2d

You may gaze upon the treasure pit. Do not go into the treasure pit! Look, but don't go down there. I can't stress that enough. If I hear that you went into the treasure pit, I'm going to be upset.

4 29

Reposted by Busiaco

Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 2d

The only thing that beats the view from my opulent villa overlooking the Grand Bazaar in The Imperial Capital is using my hereditary veto to prevent threats to my salt monopoly!

2 2 42

Reposted by Busiaco

Lloyd’s Soil @toil.bsky.social · 2d

>I ask the surveyor if the vein of minerals is useful material or just more mercenary bones
>he laughs. its a good vein of minerals sir. buy the vein of minerals
>i see the vein.
>its mercenary bones

1 8

Reposted by Busiaco

Grave Abandoner @questabandoner.bsky.social · 3d

I don't mind sentry duty. I was going to stand in one place and watch for danger anyways

4 11 69

Busiaco @busia.co · 4d

Nice to-hit bonus, my guy. She let me hit because her armor class is bad.

2 24

Busiaco @busia.co · 6d

The Crown Prince's recent actions have popularized a trend of farting and blaming it on the chair. But that's life in the Bitchmade Kingdom for you.

22

Busiaco @busia.co · 6d

Normalize getting a little hole burned clear through your body by a stone flung from an enchanted sling.

1 22

Busiaco @busia.co · 6d

Sorcerer's Wife: Don't you levitate away from me!

1 3 25

Busiaco @busia.co · 6d

Emerging naked and slimy from a big egg.

3 4 26

Busiaco @busia.co · 6d

"We may be small, but we are determined! And we have goodness and truth on our side! CHARGE!!!"

Epilogue: The one hundred mouse knights fought to the last with inestimable valor. Their enemy, being normal sized, suffered no casualties.

6 53

Reposted by Busiaco

terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 7d

(shooing away a travelling sellsword) My inventory slots are all taken up with various acorns and trinkets I found on the ground I don’t have time for you

4 65

Busiaco @busia.co · 7d

You wanna check out a badass bone-filled cage that's concealed within the lowest reaches of my tunnel complex?

3 21

Reposted by Busiaco

Mr Business @mrbusiness.bsky.social · 7d

I'm scared to leave my bog because people will realize it's not the bog that stinks

4 19

Reposted by Busiaco

Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 7d

Bad news on the court intrigue - you're now strongly associated with the "False Accuser" faction which is QUICKLY falling out of favour, all the while the star of the "Unwavering Loyalist" faction continues to rise.

5 36

Busiaco @busia.co · 8d

I hear the strumming of a harp every time I open my dream book.

2 28

Busiaco @busia.co · 8d

Where you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was there that I levitated high into the air, leaving you to fight the rusalki alone.

1 16

Busiaco @busia.co · 8d

How was your date?

(Scraping congealing blood from the fuller of a big knife) Not great. I ghosted him.

9

Busiaco @busia.co · 8d

(In the Time Dungeon) Wow, this ancient skeleton looks just like mine.

3 99 530

Busiaco @busia.co · 9d

I'm trying to enter the castle but my pike keeps bashing into the door frame 😭

10