Chet Plexico
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chetplexico.bsky.social
Chet Plexico
@chetplexico.bsky.social
76 followers 180 following 76 posts
The events portrayed by this account are all true. The names are real names of real people and real organizations.
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chetplexico.bsky.social
[coughing up blood]: bidet, set pressure to maximum, grit injection on.
bidet: I’m sorry, protocol dictates tha-
[tearing clothes off]: security override code epsilon delta one seven niner!
bidet: security override confirmed, Dire Blast engaged
September 7, 2025 at 8:35 AM
chetplexico.bsky.social
gen alpha calvinists be like “skibidi toil”
August 22, 2025 at 5:30 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
remember, coldplay probably won’t see your hot takes about their music but the people who build playlists for walgreen’s will
July 17, 2025 at 4:20 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
spiders man
spiders man
holding spiders
in his hands

he throws them
at the cops
they scream stop but
he does not

kids shout
we love spiders man
June 23, 2025 at 9:38 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
after so much intriguing word of mouth buzz I have no choice but to head to my local theater to catch the movie of the moment: francis ford coppola’s megalopolis
April 29, 2025 at 2:36 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
while modern scholars dismiss the historicity of frosty the snowman, many believe he is an amalgam of several snowmen from the late middle ages
December 24, 2024 at 3:48 AM
chetplexico.bsky.social
annual reminder that saint nicholas is canonically a necromancer
Screenshot of the Saint Nicholas Wikipedia page reading: “One story tells how during a terrible famine, a malicious butcher lured three little children into his house, where he killed them, placing their remains in a barrel to cure, planning to sell them off as ham. Nicholas, visiting the region to care for the hungry, saw through the butcher's lies and resurrected the pickled children by making the sign of the cross.”
December 19, 2024 at 5:50 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
(tossing several live catfish into the community pool):
December 18, 2024 at 5:09 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
ru paul tier list ru paul most op queens ru paul pvp builds ru paul op buil
November 9, 2024 at 4:23 AM
Reposted by Chet Plexico
kinofabino.bsky.social
November 7, 2024 at 9:12 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
(3am text from nancy pelosi flagged as likely spam) Chet, don’t forget to wear your LONGLEGS to the polls to cast your IMMACULATE vote for the candidate with THE SUBSTANCE and not that CUCKOO orange ODDITY #TERRIFIER3
November 5, 2024 at 5:41 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
I Koyaanisqatsi on her Powaqqatsi till she Naqoyqatsi
November 5, 2024 at 5:35 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
apparently nielsen ratings has been running a real-life black mirror initiative for who knows how long. this explains why young sheldon is the highest rated show on the planet.
October 15, 2024 at 2:45 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
putting the fifteen foot tall home depot skeleton on my wedding registry
October 5, 2024 at 6:28 PM
Reposted by Chet Plexico
juniorhoncho.bsky.social
some jehovah's witnesses handed me this in korea like twelve years ago and i look at it to feel peace and calm like that picture of a island jamie foxx has on his cab's sun visor in Collateral
a man and a woman, both ambiguously not white, sit in a golden field, their faces bursting with joy. in the foreground, a bushel of red apples and a bushel of a few pumpkins sit next to a few other pumpkins that were too large to be bushelled. red flowers bloom. pretty good right? well what if i told you a huge bull moose looms behind them, square and unamused. a house lies in the distance but there is no safe line to reach it. the moose glances toward the happy people and beyond his enormous frame, his mate grazes. all caps text above reads: ALL SUFFERING SOON TO END!
April 13, 2024 at 6:20 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
hmm
A local church sign that reads EASTER COMES ONCE A YEAR. HOW OFTEN DO YOU
April 12, 2024 at 9:21 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
Dune Part 2 spoilers
Tim Robinson from the I Think You Should Leave “I used to be a huge piece of shit” sketch with blue eyes and a stillsuit nose plug saying “I know I’m gonna be a piece of shit, I don’t give a rat’s ass.”
March 13, 2024 at 4:37 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
salting the earth so my crops come out pre-seasoned and delicious
February 15, 2024 at 4:06 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
THIS PLACE IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR repeated in German Spanish and French NO HIGHLY ESTEEMED DEED IS COMMEMORATED HERE repeated in German Spanish and French WHAT IS HERE WAS DANGEROUS AND REPULSIVE TO US repeated in German Spanish and French THE DANGER IS TO THE BODY AND IT CAN KILL repeated in German Spanish and French
February 14, 2024 at 4:56 PM
Reposted by Chet Plexico
skullmandible.bsky.social
hey check it out *shoots red sparks out of my fingers* sick right? I made a deal with KelY'tar, the Unkindler. *shoots sparks* every time I do this, the lifespan of the sun halves. *shoots sparks* cool right
February 14, 2024 at 1:50 AM
chetplexico.bsky.social
happy St Patrick’s Day for Perverts to those who celebrate
February 14, 2024 at 3:56 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
this is like going to italy and saying the food sucks because you only ate at mcdonalds
Opinion by the Guardian’s Emma Beddington titled food should be tasty and it doesn’t have to come in a bowl. Could someone tell my lovely American hosts? The subtitle reads I’ve had some amazing experiences in Boston but I want fun from my holiday meals, not joyless refuelling. I almost never leave Europe, so spending a month in Boston is expanding my provincial horizons and blowing my tiny mind. Wild turkeys (huge!) wander the streets, there are rodeo bouts on TV and everyone drinks iced coffee even though it’s absolutely Baltic. I feel more foreign here than in places I’ve visited where I didn’t speak the language, and I keep getting things wrong. I think I rode the bus illegally yesterday. Mostly, though, I’m baffled by bowls. In this corner of the world full of twentysomething Stem graduates wearing Patagonia and Lululemon activewear, with earning potential many multiples of mine, meals seem almost all bowl-based, composed of grain, protein, greens and some kind of sauce. had lunch (not Sweetgreen but similar) with my son yesterday, chomping through our roughage-rich bowls in a tight 15 before returning to work. “This is like umami polystyrene,” I said, gloomily poking a white cube nestled next to some limp vegetation on beige rice (“warming, rejuvenating, mineral-rich”). “No culture would recognise this,” he said, extracting a steamed egg slice from a bland, blond approximation of noodle soup (“nourishing, substantial, healing”). “But I always get way more than my five a day.”
February 13, 2024 at 7:32 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
you can get pregnant by riding the euthanasia coaster backwards, that’s why it’s not allowed
reversed image of six flags great adventure’s iconic euthanasia coaster
January 31, 2024 at 4:12 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
me: no human being is illegal

my roommate Ronald McDonald who looks exactly like the fast food mascot due a rare genetic condition and hasn’t been outside since 1972 following a fatwa issued by Ray Kroc: I can no longer remember the sun’s warmth 😔
January 29, 2024 at 8:05 PM
chetplexico.bsky.social
pitching six flags a four hour long coaster featuring nine hundred near-identical loops called The Philip Glass Experience
January 26, 2024 at 5:33 PM