Chris Ward
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chrisward.bsky.social
Chris Ward
@chrisward.bsky.social
Ex-Wizard Magazine Magic Words guy. Ex-KDHX howlin’ rock DJ. Ex-drinker. Pinball evangelist. NUDGE MAGAZINE #4 and#5 on sale now.
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“This story is just beginning, it’s the tip of the iceberg.” —every reporter on Trump for 10 fucking years
November 14, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Reposted by Chris Ward
Then Birdo did lay with Yoshi, and knew him.
November 13, 2025 at 5:38 AM
If you see a pink iPhone Pocket on my doorknob come back in 40 minutes
November 12, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Today is the day Donald Trump finally became president
November 12, 2025 at 3:23 PM
“I will fight no more forever.” — Chuck Schumer
November 12, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Love PLURIBUS? Get ready for a new episode of Low Winter Sun
November 10, 2025 at 2:52 PM
PLURIBUS IS A DING DANG DELIGHT!!!
November 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I have Frankenstein Fever!
November 8, 2025 at 3:05 AM
*Frankenstein turns chair around backwards*
Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down
November 8, 2025 at 1:51 AM
NYC power grid blacks out from Feeld pings to new Mayor and First Lady
November 6, 2025 at 1:08 AM
I sound my barbaric YAWP over the rooftops of the world! But no worries if not!
November 6, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Reposted by Chris Ward
Has New York Democratic Party chairman Jay Jacobs resigned over Mamdani yet? I hope he hasn't, so that he can instead resign over *improving Republican margins over Trump 2024 in an anti-Republican wave election*. Trump won Nassau by just 4%—now look at this bloodbath
November 5, 2025 at 1:42 PM
*me, a writer, who has never read Death of a Salesman*

“This is gonna last forever!”
November 5, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Do you think more people would be anti-car if bike people weren’t so fucking weird. You know what I’m talking about.
November 4, 2025 at 5:53 PM
When the price of beef keeps going up but McDonalds cheeseburgers stay the same price
Dis Belief Surprised GIF
ALT: Dis Belief Surprised GIF
media.tenor.com
November 2, 2025 at 12:00 AM
You will never feel like more of a cow than doing the free sample cycle at CostCo and they hit you with the free Pepto sample at the end. I am an adult cow!
November 1, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I would actually go back to bar soap if it was one really big bar of Dr. Bronner’s that lasts a whole year
November 1, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Major life achievement today: bought bulk heartburn medication at CostCo
November 1, 2025 at 7:52 PM
We think of AI as artificial intelligence. But did you know AI also thinks of us as AI? That’s right: An Idiot.
October 31, 2025 at 5:02 PM
“Can I get a coffee with NO SHURGAR and a bucket of MUNCHKINS?”
—lady at Dunkin Donuts
October 30, 2025 at 1:07 PM
I’m in a haunted house called life
October 30, 2025 at 12:05 AM
There Will Be Blood but for Tootsie Rolls
October 29, 2025 at 5:15 AM
I went to a SMOKE SHOP to buy flints for a lighter and they didn’t know what those are at all. But they did carry 1000 of the most poisonous flavored unregulated vape pen if you need those!
October 25, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Just heard a Ramones song in a Pfizer commercial so fuck everything
October 24, 2025 at 9:27 PM
We traded democracy for hamburger helper
October 24, 2025 at 2:23 AM