CleanupHitter
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CleanupHitter
@cleanuphitter.com
Sports betting, Las Vegas gambling, history, Texas, the '80s. Wish I didn't drift so much into politics... but, well, you know, life today.

CleanupHitter1 on the (former) bird site.
"It's gonna have superfast missiles and lasers and regular missiles and robots. And the supersmart robots are going to drive the ship and they'll all be gold and my name will be on the ship and my name will also be gold and shoot lasers also."

My 9-year-old nephew could be hired as ship designer.
“Trump-class” Golden Fleet AI-controlled battleships will be the largest "in the history of the world ever built" with hypersonic weapons, the most-sophisticated lasers and Cruise nuclear missiles and "ultimately there'll be 20 to 25 of these," announces the president.
December 22, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I really, really hate that the 12-year-old in me gets excited at his objectively dumb ideas like "battleships look cool so we should have some" and "let's nuke a hurricane."

I'm worried that if he ever proposes flying motorcycles like in "MegaForce" that I might be fully on board.
The Party of National Security
December 22, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Old-timers know what a stupid, stupid decision it is for the #DallasCowboys to voluntarily wear blue.
December 21, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Even a douchebag can be right every so often. And this article is dead on.
Did Las Vegas get too greedy?
There's not a recession or a pandemic, but visitors are down almost 8 percent this year. What's going wrong?
www.natesilver.net
December 21, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Can we all agree James Madison is basically a very good FCS team but has no business being in the FBS playoffs? There are probably 50+ teams that would beat them.
December 21, 2025 at 1:57 AM
There was a time when Anthony Joshua was a very good boxer, but this is embarrassing.

It’s a sellout, and AJ isn’t even trying to sell it.

#JoshuaVsPaul
December 20, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Jake Paul is wearing a Hulkamania jacket. This completely tracks.
December 20, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Can’t believe I’m about to watch this shady-as-hell Jake Paul-Anthony Joshua fight, but here I am waiting for the ring walk.

I. Am. A. Sucker.

(Will be worth it if Joshua gets carried away and accidentally lands a real heavyweight punch.)
December 20, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I mean, yeah, she's right... but, dammit, everything about who she is and the reek of Karen-like entitlement in her whining instinctively makes me want to side with the TSA.
Transportation Secretary's daughter calls to abolish TSA after 15-minute security delay
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy’s daughter urged abolishing the TSA after a 15-minute airport security delay, saying she barely made her flight.
katu.com
December 19, 2025 at 2:54 PM
It’s finally happened. Math is now a partisan thing.
FOX: If you cut something by 100%, the cost goes down to 0. If you cut it by 600%, the drug companies are actually paying you

LUTNICK: What he's saying is if a drug was $100 and you bring it down to $13, it's down 7 times

F: Not a 600% cut

L: But it's 700% higher price before. It's down 700% now
December 18, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Faaaaaack...

Not this shit again.

Let me just make this one request: Under no circumstances name him "coach in waiting."
Pete Kwiatkowski has been fired as Texas DC and replaced by… Will Muschamp!
December 18, 2025 at 8:36 PM
The up-and-coming style in MAGA world is to sprout Predator mandibles.
December 16, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Diego Pavia wanting to make sure to remove any and all “feel good” from his feel-good underdog story.
Diego Pavia rips Heisman voters on social media after runner-up finish
After finishing second in Heisman voting, Vanderbilt QB Diego Pavia posted a message on social media saying, "(Expletive)-ALL THE VOTERS"
www.usatoday.com
December 14, 2025 at 11:37 PM
What the hell is wrong with that gl...

Ohhh....

*Immediately washes hands for 10 minutes*
These 2 photos were in the same dump. Dude
December 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
QUESTION FROM REPORTER AT THE NUCLEAR POWER PLANT: Can you explain what is going on with Mr. Burns's hand growing more gnarled and clawlike by the day?

SMITHERS: I've given you an explanation. Mr. Burns is literally constantly shredding on the electric guitar.
Q: Can you explain what's going on with the bandages on Trump's hand?

LEAVITT: We've given you an explanation. The president is literally constantly shaking hands.
December 11, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Strutting into the doctor's office for my colonoscopy, shouting...
I have a perfectly clean asshole. Behold!
December 4, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Dressed as one does in tourist areas. You know, comfortable walking shoes, layered clothing, full combat body armor.
Commander Greg Bovino led a group of Border Patrol agents on walk around the French Quarter in New Orleans this afternoon.
December 4, 2025 at 2:20 AM
I want to see Lane Kiffin become the Joe Flacco of college football coaching. Making his way eventually to every team, sometimes multiple ones per season.
December 1, 2025 at 12:35 AM
This you can count on: aggy gonna aggy.

#HookEm #Longhorns
November 29, 2025 at 4:10 AM
"He desired. He desired desiring. He desired being desired. He desired desire itself."

Olivia Nuzzi's writing sounds like the voiceover from a cologne commercial starring Derek Zoolander.
November 25, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Ain't nothing "free" in MAGA world. It's always just a matter of what form the payment will be.
November 25, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Every college journalism professor in America walking into their classrooms tomorrow, throwing up their hands, and telling the students, "I don't know. I don't even know what to tell you anymore. I guess just make sure the nekkid picture you include with your clips is abstract and tasteful."
November 24, 2025 at 8:28 PM
The #GreyCup being decided by a rouge would be so perfectly Canadian.
November 17, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Longhorns look very much like they’d gladly forfeit the last 4 minutes just to get the game over with.

Nothing but sloppiness and a complete absence of heart.
November 16, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Sarkisian is completely outmatched in this coaching head-to-head. Not even close.

#TexasLonghorns #HookEm
November 16, 2025 at 3:33 AM