First Wordle Problems
@fwordleproblems.bsky.social
Laughter, the Best Medicine. Drama in Real Life.
Should not have been old till I had been wise.
midwest office guy, he/him
Should not have been old till I had been wise.
midwest office guy, he/him
Pinned
i feel like i am doing all the emotional labor in this futuristic posthuman hive mind
Honestly “burrito taxi driver” is rapidly becoming my dream job and I’m starting to think I might get there. I love this exciting new world.
welcome to america. there are three jobs left: ice guy, burrito taxi driver, and professional gambler
January 14, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Honestly “burrito taxi driver” is rapidly becoming my dream job and I’m starting to think I might get there. I love this exciting new world.
Reposted by First Wordle Problems
While the historical- documentary evidence refers to a "white house" as the abode of the war chieftain, excavations of Site E yield evidence which is inconsistent with such a description.
Archaeologists therefore refer to the site as "the golden steakhouse"
Archaeologists therefore refer to the site as "the golden steakhouse"
this is just getting absurd what do you MEAN they labeled the rose garden
January 14, 2026 at 7:25 AM
While the historical- documentary evidence refers to a "white house" as the abode of the war chieftain, excavations of Site E yield evidence which is inconsistent with such a description.
Archaeologists therefore refer to the site as "the golden steakhouse"
Archaeologists therefore refer to the site as "the golden steakhouse"
I would characterize this as the "dudes rock" vote, and also as "approximately fifty exasperating midwestern guys I have known who would nevertheless help me change a tire."
Looked into TJ a bit and he’s a snowboarding bro who used to post Ron Paul memes and then later memes about BLM, and now Elon and Trump destroying American, what voter type is this
WATCH: Trump shows his middle finger and appears to say "fuck you" after Ford worker yells "pedophile protector" - TMZ
January 14, 2026 at 1:47 PM
I would characterize this as the "dudes rock" vote, and also as "approximately fifty exasperating midwestern guys I have known who would nevertheless help me change a tire."
Message received! A victory for Nordic resolve and a victory for proto-Germanic that we all comprehend. Everybody stay winning.
January 14, 2026 at 12:18 PM
Message received! A victory for Nordic resolve and a victory for proto-Germanic that we all comprehend. Everybody stay winning.
I know there’s a negative side too but you can’t say these guys aren’t doing ANYTHING for the city. A find like this brings so much joy into some kid’s life!
Reporter Louis Krauss saw this. An agent apparently dropped a flash grenade that was left with the pin still in it on Park Avenue after driving away in a squad car.
January 14, 2026 at 1:48 AM
I know there’s a negative side too but you can’t say these guys aren’t doing ANYTHING for the city. A find like this brings so much joy into some kid’s life!
Don't want to beat this into the ground, but we always gotta remind folks out there not to fixate too much on the slogan!
I really want people to understand that CBP is arguably as bad or worse than ICE.
CBP was engaged in horrible behavior back when ICE was mostly doing custody transfers.
Over-fixating on ICE doesn’t solve it.
We really need a comprehensive overhaul of the DHS monstrosity when this is over.
CBP was engaged in horrible behavior back when ICE was mostly doing custody transfers.
Over-fixating on ICE doesn’t solve it.
We really need a comprehensive overhaul of the DHS monstrosity when this is over.
January 14, 2026 at 1:16 AM
Don't want to beat this into the ground, but we always gotta remind folks out there not to fixate too much on the slogan!
Reposted by First Wordle Problems
Rich cultural text that Will Stancil is in the streets of Minneapolis fighting ICE while the ten thousand losers who want him to dead are petrified of No Kings events because they might see a mom with a cell phone.
Just a perfect distillation of every discourse.
Just a perfect distillation of every discourse.
January 13, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Rich cultural text that Will Stancil is in the streets of Minneapolis fighting ICE while the ten thousand losers who want him to dead are petrified of No Kings events because they might see a mom with a cell phone.
Just a perfect distillation of every discourse.
Just a perfect distillation of every discourse.
This is just trivial and childish; a minor national embarrassment among many. But man, remember when this would have been a big story?
WATCH: Trump shows his middle finger and appears to say "fuck you" after Ford worker yells "pedophile protector" - TMZ
January 13, 2026 at 9:31 PM
This is just trivial and childish; a minor national embarrassment among many. But man, remember when this would have been a big story?
It did lead to a lot of cheerful reminiscing (I won't even say "discourse") about newspaper comics in general and our connection to them, especially as a bunch of wordy kids. In a way that's the memorial Adams earned, that we talk about OTHER creators in the American medium where he made his name.
There's nothing funny about the death of Scott Adams, which is a fitting tribute to his legacy as a cartoonist.
January 13, 2026 at 7:55 PM
It did lead to a lot of cheerful reminiscing (I won't even say "discourse") about newspaper comics in general and our connection to them, especially as a bunch of wordy kids. In a way that's the memorial Adams earned, that we talk about OTHER creators in the American medium where he made his name.
Reposted by First Wordle Problems
I do not actually care how you feel about it but it would be totally accurate to describe the current Dem caucus as “the most unrelentingly hostile minority to executive nominees in American history” and I think it is at the very least odd to pretend otherwise
I am not sure why folks are having trouble with the notion that 100% of Dems voting against 100% of the opposition party’s nominees—a thing that has never happened in American history—is not a particular realistic standard.
Lucky, it is also not a particularly useful standard!
Lucky, it is also not a particularly useful standard!
January 13, 2026 at 7:22 PM
I do not actually care how you feel about it but it would be totally accurate to describe the current Dem caucus as “the most unrelentingly hostile minority to executive nominees in American history” and I think it is at the very least odd to pretend otherwise
Things still going great over at the ol' D of J I guess. Heavens.
Six Prosecutors Quit Over Push to Investigate ICE Shooting Victim’s Widow
www.nytimes.com
January 13, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Things still going great over at the ol' D of J I guess. Heavens.
I know I should not further any more discourse about this primary than we’ve already experienced but COME ON. We done TOLD you this was all Gender.
Things I did not need to know from a political campaign: ""Graham has great sperm," Gertner said in the video. “The infertility was something that was part of my body.”"
Graham Platner on campaign hiatus to pursue pregnancy with wife in Norway
In a video on social media, Platner said a first attempt at IVF costs $25,000 in the U.S., while one IVF round in Norway costs $5,500.
www.newscentermaine.com
January 13, 2026 at 5:07 PM
I know I should not further any more discourse about this primary than we’ve already experienced but COME ON. We done TOLD you this was all Gender.
Well the whole thing about Breathed is he eventually came back! And remains beloved, through the One Weird Trick of not becoming an insane asshole.
If he'd just gone the way of Watterson, Breathed, Larson, etc he'd likely be greatly mourned today. Instead he chose to be a ridiculous, malevolent Too Online Guy and that's how he'll be remembered.
Confirmed www.tmz.com/2026/01/13/s...
January 13, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Well the whole thing about Breathed is he eventually came back! And remains beloved, through the One Weird Trick of not becoming an insane asshole.
Reposted by First Wordle Problems
Dilbert’s trans now 🏳️⚧️
reclaiming dilbert citing death of the author
January 13, 2026 at 3:42 PM
Dilbert’s trans now 🏳️⚧️
Oh come on, I've seen "Dark". This is a time machine and we all know it. How did YOU think calculus just got "invented"? Come on. Once you see this stuff you can't unsee it.
Leibniz’s drawing of a prototype calculator he designed in 1673
January 13, 2026 at 2:05 PM
Oh come on, I've seen "Dark". This is a time machine and we all know it. How did YOU think calculus just got "invented"? Come on. Once you see this stuff you can't unsee it.
I am seeing everyone list the movies they would adapt into anime and I am more certain than ever that I do not understand anime AT ALL.
January 13, 2026 at 1:59 PM
I am seeing everyone list the movies they would adapt into anime and I am more certain than ever that I do not understand anime AT ALL.
I mean this is all a freaking joke obviously (wouldn't want Greenland to become Venezuela lol!) but it's also just really...dark, and really stupid, the way they unironically say things like "assert dominance" now. Does he understand that's not a FLATTERING way to describe your own behavior?
Rep. Randy Fine on his bill to make Greenland the 51st state: "We need to make sure we assert our dominance over the Western Hemisphere ... the last thing we need is Greenland to become another Venezuela where we have huge problems we have to deal with in the future."
January 13, 2026 at 1:19 PM
I mean this is all a freaking joke obviously (wouldn't want Greenland to become Venezuela lol!) but it's also just really...dark, and really stupid, the way they unironically say things like "assert dominance" now. Does he understand that's not a FLATTERING way to describe your own behavior?
okay what, no. shut up. none of this makes any sense.
Wild reporting from Bloomberg. Jeanine Pirro apparently freelanced the subpoenas and criminal investigation of Jerome Powell.
January 13, 2026 at 2:00 AM
okay what, no. shut up. none of this makes any sense.
This is why I think people worried about Dems who won’t say a thing like “abolish ICE” now probably don’t need to worry TOO much. You’re allowed to be annoyed with them for now! But the politics already look pretty straightforward here. Everybody is going to come around to SOME version of it.
This YouGov poll on ICE is really eye-opening. Public opinion has really swung against DHS/ICE and their terror regime.
d3nkl3psvxxpe9.cloudfront.net/documents/IC...
d3nkl3psvxxpe9.cloudfront.net/documents/IC...
January 13, 2026 at 1:58 AM
This is why I think people worried about Dems who won’t say a thing like “abolish ICE” now probably don’t need to worry TOO much. You’re allowed to be annoyed with them for now! But the politics already look pretty straightforward here. Everybody is going to come around to SOME version of it.
yeah I don't know you guys i am NOT at all sure the public will be thrilled about this
F.B.I. Inquiry Into ICE Shooting Is Examining Victim’s Possible Ties to Activist Groups
www.nytimes.com
January 13, 2026 at 1:04 AM
yeah I don't know you guys i am NOT at all sure the public will be thrilled about this
hm. well.
Six-byline alert: 🚨
“.. laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status to fool adversaries into dropping their guard, then attacking and killing them. That is a war crime called ‘perfidy.’”
@nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/12/u...
“.. laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status to fool adversaries into dropping their guard, then attacking and killing them. That is a war crime called ‘perfidy.’”
@nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/12/u...
January 13, 2026 at 12:18 AM
hm. well.
If this story is playing on a TV in a bar in the background of the first scene of the movie, nothing good is about to happen
Huh. All four US astronauts coming back early because of medical emergency, NASA not saying which astronaut or what the problem is.
NASA astronaut and ISS leader Mike Fincke transferred station command to a Russian cosmonaut ahead of an unprecedented medical evacuation
January 12, 2026 at 11:16 PM
If this story is playing on a TV in a bar in the background of the first scene of the movie, nothing good is about to happen
Maumee, duh.
My favorite Twitter prompt was "RT this with your home river," so reskeet this with your home river.
Mine is the Patuxent.
Mine is the Patuxent.
January 12, 2026 at 8:12 PM
Maumee, duh.
1933
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!"
1961
"Ask not what your country can do for you!"
2026
"GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER. THIS IS SOME REAL PRETTY SHIT NOW MAN, WE'RE FUCKED."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!"
1961
"Ask not what your country can do for you!"
2026
"GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER. THIS IS SOME REAL PRETTY SHIT NOW MAN, WE'RE FUCKED."
Imagine any other President in American history writing "WE'RE SCREWED!" in all caps and releasing it for the entire world to see. Imagine what the press would say if Biden said this about anything. Or Obama.
👀👀👀
January 12, 2026 at 7:58 PM
1933
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!"
1961
"Ask not what your country can do for you!"
2026
"GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER. THIS IS SOME REAL PRETTY SHIT NOW MAN, WE'RE FUCKED."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!"
1961
"Ask not what your country can do for you!"
2026
"GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER. THIS IS SOME REAL PRETTY SHIT NOW MAN, WE'RE FUCKED."
POV: You are ruling post-apocalyptic Las Vegas with an iron fist. You are the Dark Man, the Walkin Dude, the Man With No Face. The Ageless Stranger.
January 12, 2026 at 7:39 PM
POV: You are ruling post-apocalyptic Las Vegas with an iron fist. You are the Dark Man, the Walkin Dude, the Man With No Face. The Ageless Stranger.