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Scary Heavens

@daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social

170 followers 140 following 880 posts

You can windsurf into my life 🎤

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 21d

Live
Laugh
Lick my love pump

Chicken the Friendly Ghost 👻 @vermontchicken.bsky.social · 21d

Live
Laugh
Launch me into the sun

Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 21d

Live
Laugh
Light yourself on fire

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 46m

Purple shampoo is great for removing brassy tones in bleached hair – but now my hands look like they’re in Night of the Living Dead

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3h

Sorry, I read that as someone with 17 toes…

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3h

#inclusive

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3h

Every Breath you Take – The Police

“Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Oh, can't you see
You belong to me?”

That’s it, I’m calling the actual police

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3h

Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing

“Get up, get up, get up, get up
Let's make love tonight
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
'Cause you do it right”

Let her sleep, you psycho

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3h

Back for Good – Take That

“Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good”

For fuck’s sake, Gary, admit what you did and piss off

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3h

🎵 disgruntled men with no respect for boundaries playlist 🎵

Beautiful Things – Benson Boone

“Please stay
I want you, I need you, oh God”

Dude, you sound deranged. And frankly a bit violent

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3h

Can I be the one at the back? I have ballet bunions and warped toes, thx

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 1d

Ooh! I will x

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 1d

Again…

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 1d

I love the unique relationship I have we some of my NCT dads – like, you’re a hetero man friend, yet you know all about the 27 stitches I’ve had in my vagina. 😍

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Reposted by Scary Heavens

Magsferatu @magnumificent.bsky.social · 1d

Amazing.

Science is extraordinary

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 2d

Haha

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 2d

Lest we bollocks

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 2d

Why are people shocked by this? Go on, get your fucking poppies on next month.

Fb screengrab of Indy headline with shocked emoji reactions: British parts found in Russian drones used to attack Kyiv, says Zelensky

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 2d

What has your algorithm got horribly wrong about you?

Mine thinks I’m into the royal family 🤮

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 3d

How ADHD is this? Couldn’t sleep last night so apparently signing up to Trading 212 at 4am was a great idea 👍

Also, I have dyscalculia

Reposted by Scary Heavens

Harry Turtledove @hntdove.bsky.social · 3d

Hell of a thing to put next to a statue of Joan of Arc. (h/t David Pilling)

Fire extinguisher next to a statue of Joan of Arc

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 4d

My Uber is here

Michael Knight giving a thumbs up on the bonnet of Kitt

Reposted by Scary Heavens

Michael Jay McClure @mjmimages.bsky.social · 7d

Me to email

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Reposted by Scary Heavens

Jooli-AHH! Ghoulia 🎃🍂🔪 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 8d

Girl, you just did a rail of cocaine. You're not eating a damn thing

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 9d

No, *you* had a sex dream about Laura Palmer’s dad

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 9d

I knew a groom who shat himself on his wedding night. His bride had to clean him up. (Successful music manager, btw – him, not her – she was a fucking mug).

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 9d

I was nervous when my daughter got married so I probably drank more than I should before I made a speech. I managed to alienate both families, spill red wine over my daughter's dress, cause a fight and shit myself all before they cut the cake. We laugh about it now; well, I do.

Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 9d

a man in a trench coat and tie is standing in front of a building .

ALT: a man in a trench coat and tie is standing in front of a building .

media.tenor.com

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Scary Heavens @daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social · 10d

I’m doing that face with my cuppa RIGHT NOW! ☕️