Also, I really want a Mentos commercial with Those Two.

bUtYoUcOuLdDrInKsTrAiGhTfRoMtHeGaRdEnHoSe!

The game basically treats bows like machine guns: If you’re high enough level, you can often just stand there and not take any damage from other enemy types as they swing at you, but archers can still gun you down in seconds. There’s no way to defend against this aside from get in real close.

WTF, does your theater typically cycle out films that quickly?

Those bowmen are something else: They didn’t have to make an enemy that appears almost immediately the equivalent of Willy in Double Dragon, but they sure did!

The fact that there are like five weapons in the whole game and that there’s really never anything better than that base sword is baffling. But so are 90% of the design choices they made.

It is balanced verrry strangely in that manner. Basically: Save once you’re ready to leave town, try to kill dudes/get better weapon, restore till this works, repeat till you get a sword, alleviating like 75% of your combat headaches.

Oh believe me: There’s very little quality to be found in The Faery Tale Adventure!

Standing here quietly sobbing as my tears roll down the side art of my OG Gauntlet cab.

Make The Boss Battle Inside The Airplane Even Remotely Good Challenge

I don’t enjoy dying in The Faery Tale Adventure, but I will admit that I do enjoy hearing “The House of the Rising Sun” whenever the fairy shows up to resurrect me.