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Manny Phesto

@dakall.bsky.social

1.3K followers 2.1K following 2.6K posts

My life coach benched me Growers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fmgp3xywqzqkluwo6ghjw3kc/feed/aaakws226feqs Showers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fmgp3xywqzqkluwo6ghjw3kc/feed/aaahnteusxchm

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Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · Jan 28

The band nearly broke up when Duran wanted his name listed first.

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 1d

Alexander Graham Bell was the first one to say, "New phone. Who dis?"

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 2d

Someone doesn't want me to change the channel.

Cat exerting his dominance

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 2d

Was that a banana in your pocket?

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 3d

My wife declared marital law

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 3d

Bringing a bottle of Goo-Gone to the Goo Goo Dolls concert

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 4d

TBH I just go to the meetings for the pastries

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 4d

Is it like Fight Club?

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 4d

I'm off to this week's ANTIFA Anonymous meeting

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 4d

Sluttyness is next to godliness

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 4d

So are you moist?

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 4d

Exactly why I have a toothbrush with bristles on both ends.

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 4d

True intimacy is when you brush their teeth while they're brushing your teeth

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 4d

Nice account you got there. It would be a real shame if someone were to block it.

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 5d

Just for the first 30 or 40 minutes

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 5d

Rubbing Icy-Hot on my taint just to feel something

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 6d

Good joke. Can I burro it?

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 6d

You wouldn't know my AI girlfriend. She goes to a different data center.

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 6d

Pumpkin spice fish sticks

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 6d

Just once I want to see all the clowns getting into the car.

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 7d

A remake of Casper, the Friendly Ghost, in which we find out his parents were anti-vaxxers.

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 8d

Are you saying that this flytrap is from Venus?

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 8d

Personally, I prefer Netflix and chili

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 9d

If Lady Gaga married Walton Goggins she'd be Lady Gaga-Goggins

Reposted by Manny Phesto

Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 10d

assistant to the regional hamburger helper

Manny Phesto @dakall.bsky.social · 9d

Beef Wellington is just a bougie Hot Pocket

Reposted by Manny Phesto

TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 10d

Our Fodder who Art in Kitchen, Hallowed be thy Noms