DragyneSlayre
@dragyneslayre.bsky.social
Pinned
DragyneSlayre
@dragyneslayre.bsky.social
· Nov 17
What idiot called it Mario Kart when they could have gone with Mario Speedwagon?
Reposted by DragyneSlayre
If you farmed your followers and you aren’t following them back then you are not a good farmer
December 30, 2024 at 6:26 PM
If you farmed your followers and you aren’t following them back then you are not a good farmer
Hear me out… a riches to rags movie titled “Living in the Lapse of Luxury”
December 17, 2024 at 1:28 AM
Hear me out… a riches to rags movie titled “Living in the Lapse of Luxury”
If Ariel knew how to read and write (she signed the contract with Ursula), why didn’t she just write out the fact that she lost her voice when she went to the castle with Erik.
December 15, 2024 at 2:31 PM
If Ariel knew how to read and write (she signed the contract with Ursula), why didn’t she just write out the fact that she lost her voice when she went to the castle with Erik.
I want to get this tattooed on my penis:
One cock ring to rule them all
One cock ring to rule them all
December 10, 2024 at 3:16 AM
I want to get this tattooed on my penis:
One cock ring to rule them all
One cock ring to rule them all
My wife just used the term mansplaining wrong and now I’m conflicted*
*stolen from TikTok
*stolen from TikTok
December 10, 2024 at 3:07 AM
My wife just used the term mansplaining wrong and now I’m conflicted*
*stolen from TikTok
*stolen from TikTok
Apple Employee: …and you can download apps to your wearable device
Me: not on my watch
Me: not on my watch
December 1, 2024 at 2:31 AM
Apple Employee: …and you can download apps to your wearable device
Me: not on my watch
Me: not on my watch
Quote repost with yours!
November 19, 2024 at 2:25 AM
Quote repost with yours!
Reposted by DragyneSlayre
WIFE: I’m so bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
November 19, 2024 at 2:08 AM
WIFE: I’m so bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
WIFE: I’m so bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
November 19, 2024 at 2:08 AM
WIFE: I’m so bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
ME: we could have sex
WIFE: not that bored
Reposted by DragyneSlayre
Burger King is the poor man's Red Robin and Arby's is the poor man's Arby's
November 18, 2024 at 9:35 PM
Burger King is the poor man's Red Robin and Arby's is the poor man's Arby's
What the hell is a skeet?
I’m old
I’m old
November 18, 2024 at 8:42 PM
What the hell is a skeet?
I’m old
I’m old
Scrolling…
NETFLIX: We think you’ll love this (Elvis Presley documentary)
ME: You don’t know me at all algorithm
NETFLIX: We think you’ll love this (Elvis Presley documentary)
ME: You don’t know me at all algorithm
November 18, 2024 at 2:56 PM
Scrolling…
NETFLIX: We think you’ll love this (Elvis Presley documentary)
ME: You don’t know me at all algorithm
NETFLIX: We think you’ll love this (Elvis Presley documentary)
ME: You don’t know me at all algorithm
Hear me out:
_
A mobile phone service for drug dealers called Cartel.
_
A mobile phone service for drug dealers called Cartel.
November 18, 2024 at 1:44 AM
Hear me out:
_
A mobile phone service for drug dealers called Cartel.
_
A mobile phone service for drug dealers called Cartel.
At Comicon, I asked a Harry Potter fan if I could Slytherin to her bed
She told me to show her my wand
I asked if she was Sirius
She said Granger things have happened
I said I just want to muggle
She said she wouldn’t snitch
Now I have Hogwarts
She told me to show her my wand
I asked if she was Sirius
She said Granger things have happened
I said I just want to muggle
She said she wouldn’t snitch
Now I have Hogwarts
November 17, 2024 at 9:10 PM
At Comicon, I asked a Harry Potter fan if I could Slytherin to her bed
She told me to show her my wand
I asked if she was Sirius
She said Granger things have happened
I said I just want to muggle
She said she wouldn’t snitch
Now I have Hogwarts
She told me to show her my wand
I asked if she was Sirius
She said Granger things have happened
I said I just want to muggle
She said she wouldn’t snitch
Now I have Hogwarts
A Harry Potter themed hotel called the Slyther Inn.
November 17, 2024 at 9:09 PM
A Harry Potter themed hotel called the Slyther Inn.
Recommend funny accounts for me to follow please.
November 17, 2024 at 9:00 PM
Recommend funny accounts for me to follow please.
@markhamillofficial.bsky.social joins the same day as me. He gets 164k followers. I get 5.
November 17, 2024 at 7:59 PM
@markhamillofficial.bsky.social joins the same day as me. He gets 164k followers. I get 5.
Geriatric? Ack! Tyson is only one year older than me.
unremarkable knobs like Jake Paul beating up geriatric minorities in their million dollar swim trunks radiates such angry late stage roman empire vomitorium vibes
November 17, 2024 at 6:05 PM
Geriatric? Ack! Tyson is only one year older than me.
Funny Twitter has arrived and now Bluesky is covered in clown paint and seltzer water
Inspired by the very funny Jackie Bouvier
Inspired by the very funny Jackie Bouvier
Funny Twitter has arrived and now Bluesky smells a little like stale beer and cigarettes.
November 17, 2024 at 4:53 PM
Funny Twitter has arrived and now Bluesky is covered in clown paint and seltzer water
Inspired by the very funny Jackie Bouvier
Inspired by the very funny Jackie Bouvier
I love playing with babies but they get really upset when they have to go to jail after rolling doubles three times in a row
Inspired by Clowndro’s wonderful post:
Inspired by Clowndro’s wonderful post:
I love playing with babies but it takes a lot of practice to throw them in a nice tight spiral
November 17, 2024 at 4:47 PM
I love playing with babies but they get really upset when they have to go to jail after rolling doubles three times in a row
Inspired by Clowndro’s wonderful post:
Inspired by Clowndro’s wonderful post:
I auditioned for a mime role but didn’t get the part. I’m thinking maybe it was something I said.
November 17, 2024 at 1:02 AM
I auditioned for a mime role but didn’t get the part. I’m thinking maybe it was something I said.
I sucked at spelling in elementary school but I loved meth.
November 17, 2024 at 1:00 AM
I sucked at spelling in elementary school but I loved meth.
Wife: I just bought this new bookmark.
Me: That’s lovely. What did it cost?
Wife: Only a dollar.
Me: Wow. How much is that in dog ears?
Me: That’s lovely. What did it cost?
Wife: Only a dollar.
Me: Wow. How much is that in dog ears?
November 17, 2024 at 12:59 AM
Wife: I just bought this new bookmark.
Me: That’s lovely. What did it cost?
Wife: Only a dollar.
Me: Wow. How much is that in dog ears?
Me: That’s lovely. What did it cost?
Wife: Only a dollar.
Me: Wow. How much is that in dog ears?
Old dogs who shake have Barkinson’s Disease
November 17, 2024 at 12:59 AM
Old dogs who shake have Barkinson’s Disease
I want to open a bar called Moderation. That way no matter how drunk you got you could always say if you were drinking in Moderation.
November 17, 2024 at 12:57 AM
I want to open a bar called Moderation. That way no matter how drunk you got you could always say if you were drinking in Moderation.