Emcee Hammerpants
@emceehammerpants.bsky.social
I’m a very grumpy person and I’m not really that smart. If you’re thinking of following me you probably shouldn’t. I have no insights to give you.
That sounds exhausting. What a way to live
February 10, 2026 at 5:55 PM
That sounds exhausting. What a way to live
When God gives you a gift (a broken jaw) you should use it to your advantage (shutting the fuck up)
February 10, 2026 at 5:54 PM
When God gives you a gift (a broken jaw) you should use it to your advantage (shutting the fuck up)
The man speaks very clearly for someone with a boot lodged in both his asshole and his throat
February 10, 2026 at 5:51 PM
The man speaks very clearly for someone with a boot lodged in both his asshole and his throat
This is a superior presentation for consuming information and I'm not gonna listen to any arguments otherwise
February 10, 2026 at 5:48 PM
This is a superior presentation for consuming information and I'm not gonna listen to any arguments otherwise
What a wonderful question to ask somebody cloaking themselves in religion.
February 10, 2026 at 5:45 PM
What a wonderful question to ask somebody cloaking themselves in religion.
I think the biggest flaw is "control of the house comes down to a few races".
That was unlikely before and becoming even MORE unlikely as the year has gone on. It honestly kinda seems like "No Republican in anything less than a Trump +35 District will survive election night" is more likely.
That was unlikely before and becoming even MORE unlikely as the year has gone on. It honestly kinda seems like "No Republican in anything less than a Trump +35 District will survive election night" is more likely.
February 10, 2026 at 12:44 AM
I think the biggest flaw is "control of the house comes down to a few races".
That was unlikely before and becoming even MORE unlikely as the year has gone on. It honestly kinda seems like "No Republican in anything less than a Trump +35 District will survive election night" is more likely.
That was unlikely before and becoming even MORE unlikely as the year has gone on. It honestly kinda seems like "No Republican in anything less than a Trump +35 District will survive election night" is more likely.
There's gonna be a lot of right-aligned factions trying to launder their reputations. Personally I'm not inclined to listen to any of it. I'll need a seppuku or two to take anyone seriously.
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
There's gonna be a lot of right-aligned factions trying to launder their reputations. Personally I'm not inclined to listen to any of it. I'll need a seppuku or two to take anyone seriously.
That sounds really nice. Curling is the best Olympic sport, I love it so much
February 9, 2026 at 3:26 PM
That sounds really nice. Curling is the best Olympic sport, I love it so much
I'm not surprised. This shit doesn't work and the people saying it does are fuckin' lying. I'm DEEPLY unimpressed.
February 5, 2026 at 7:47 PM
I'm not surprised. This shit doesn't work and the people saying it does are fuckin' lying. I'm DEEPLY unimpressed.
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
quant, please don't attribute that TikTok bastardization of a neologism to the good posters of BlueSky.
If there's any BlueSky specific way to say kys, it involves the study of statistical mechanics.
If there's any BlueSky specific way to say kys, it involves the study of statistical mechanics.
February 4, 2026 at 4:31 PM
quant, please don't attribute that TikTok bastardization of a neologism to the good posters of BlueSky.
If there's any BlueSky specific way to say kys, it involves the study of statistical mechanics.
If there's any BlueSky specific way to say kys, it involves the study of statistical mechanics.
Every law enforcement agency on earth should be crawling up Thiel’s ass with a microscope and a pickaxe. That dude is a serious, serious problem and as long as he has wealth and power none of us are safe.
February 4, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Every law enforcement agency on earth should be crawling up Thiel’s ass with a microscope and a pickaxe. That dude is a serious, serious problem and as long as he has wealth and power none of us are safe.
“This song is just six words long” by Weird Al Yankovich. I never understood why it was actually seven.
February 4, 2026 at 5:53 AM
“This song is just six words long” by Weird Al Yankovich. I never understood why it was actually seven.
“Guys, listen, my sister got raped so I’m gonna need yall to come over and help me kill a guy. I’ll spring for pizza and beer, I promise it’s not a very big guy. I’ve already got the truck to move his corpse.”
Really reminds me of grad school, you know?
Really reminds me of grad school, you know?
February 4, 2026 at 2:23 AM
“Guys, listen, my sister got raped so I’m gonna need yall to come over and help me kill a guy. I’ll spring for pizza and beer, I promise it’s not a very big guy. I’ve already got the truck to move his corpse.”
Really reminds me of grad school, you know?
Really reminds me of grad school, you know?
A… rare misstep?
I have questions. What do you assert he’s getting right? Tell me what you think his batting average is and tell me why it’s high.
I have questions. What do you assert he’s getting right? Tell me what you think his batting average is and tell me why it’s high.
February 4, 2026 at 12:28 AM
A… rare misstep?
I have questions. What do you assert he’s getting right? Tell me what you think his batting average is and tell me why it’s high.
I have questions. What do you assert he’s getting right? Tell me what you think his batting average is and tell me why it’s high.
Common sense reform is an open set that could conceptually contain “abolish”. Given how off the rails they are, common sense could even contain “deal with them as one would any rabid animal”
February 4, 2026 at 12:05 AM
Common sense reform is an open set that could conceptually contain “abolish”. Given how off the rails they are, common sense could even contain “deal with them as one would any rabid animal”
I’m not an activist, but my exposure to them through their writing suggests that they spend a lot of time talking about how to do things rather than doing things. They remind me of a certain layer of the management class, and I think that comparison would hurt their feelings a lot.
February 3, 2026 at 11:25 PM
I’m not an activist, but my exposure to them through their writing suggests that they spend a lot of time talking about how to do things rather than doing things. They remind me of a certain layer of the management class, and I think that comparison would hurt their feelings a lot.
What’s a yute?
February 3, 2026 at 9:56 PM
What’s a yute?
Holy shit! That’s incredible!
You can just DO that?
God I could use 24 hours of sleep. I’m gonna go find a judge to talk shit to.
You can just DO that?
God I could use 24 hours of sleep. I’m gonna go find a judge to talk shit to.
February 3, 2026 at 9:55 PM
Holy shit! That’s incredible!
You can just DO that?
God I could use 24 hours of sleep. I’m gonna go find a judge to talk shit to.
You can just DO that?
God I could use 24 hours of sleep. I’m gonna go find a judge to talk shit to.
We have a lot of public information about the kind of woman Bill Clinton is attracted to, and the Venn diagram doesn’t really overlap with the young teen girl model. He likes grown women pretty clearly. He’s abused his power dynamic in very bad ways. But I’d be shocked if he fucked children.
February 3, 2026 at 9:52 PM
We have a lot of public information about the kind of woman Bill Clinton is attracted to, and the Venn diagram doesn’t really overlap with the young teen girl model. He likes grown women pretty clearly. He’s abused his power dynamic in very bad ways. But I’d be shocked if he fucked children.
Look, if they could all just kill each other without involving the rest of us, that would be terrific.
February 3, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Look, if they could all just kill each other without involving the rest of us, that would be terrific.
They’re just straight up stealing our fucking money.
February 3, 2026 at 2:24 PM
They’re just straight up stealing our fucking money.
Welcome back, presumably
February 3, 2026 at 10:41 AM
Welcome back, presumably