Emcee Hammerpants
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emceehammerpants.bsky.social
Emcee Hammerpants
@emceehammerpants.bsky.social
480 followers 830 following 6.7K posts
I’m a very grumpy person and I’m not really that smart. If you’re thinking of following me you probably shouldn’t. I have no insights to give you.
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emceehammerpants.bsky.social
Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · Sep 27
Noooooope. Nothing for the bad guys. Nothing.
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
I just don't think it's possible for me to hate the New York Times more than I do
anthonylfisher.bsky.social Anthony L. Fisher @anthonylfisher.bsky.social · 6d
Weird. I tried to warn libertarians about Trump
February 9, 2026 at 3:32 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
mosheroperandi.bsky.social
quant, please don't attribute that TikTok bastardization of a neologism to the good posters of BlueSky.

If there's any BlueSky specific way to say kys, it involves the study of statistical mechanics.
February 4, 2026 at 4:31 PM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
How is it that half the country can’t figure this shit out? The two chicks at the same time breast exam watch out for your cornhole guy isn’t struggling with it. What the hell, people?

(I fuckin’ love this dude)
diedrichbader.bsky.social Diedrich Bader @diedrichbader.bsky.social · 12d
NONE OF THEM KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT
Tariffs are dumb
Being unvaccinated is dumb
Unpasteurized milk is dumb
Ending foreign aid is dumb
Tax cuts for billionaires are dumb
Ending renewable energy is dumb
Being anti immigration is dumb

They don’t have a single good idea and all they look dumb
February 4, 2026 at 12:31 AM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing. Swear to God schools used to be consistent and open and available all the time. I feel like I’m going crazy these days.
mkramer.bsky.social Melody Joy Kramer @mkramer.bsky.social · 12d
it is day 7 of not having full school days (one teacher workday, one snow day, three remote learning days, two 2-hour delays)

today my children are doing their assignments in a giant fort that they’ve built from bedsheets and pillows and various furniture items.
February 3, 2026 at 4:06 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
saintriot.bsky.social
Shout out to elevator shenanigans. Gotta be one of my all time favorite shenanigans.
January 31, 2026 at 9:54 PM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
The East Wing should never be rebuilt. A small plaque should be left in the middle of a barren field that’s allowed to grow only weeds. It should be a permanent monument to the stupidest decision the people of this country have ever made.
carlquintanilla.bsky.social Carl Quintanilla @carlquintanilla.bsky.social · 18d
“.. the hearing suggests the real possibility that Trump will be unable to construct anything in the East Wing’s place, leaving just an empty site ..

Destruction followed by stagnation seems to be something of an MO ..”

@theatlantic.com
www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...
January 31, 2026 at 11:41 AM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
This is my entire internet experience. Started working on this shit in ‘96. I was here for everything but apparently saw nothing. I guess I just walked right by the brain poison factory as they were building it and thought nothing of it.
jawn215.bsky.social jeff stone's TV @jawn215.bsky.social · 15d
I think I'm a bit older than most of you folks who are discussing this stuff. I was a web developer starting out in the early 00's and I was online a lot of the time, but I mostly just went on Fark and played Duke Nukem at work. Reading all of this for the first time tonight is fucking wild.
January 31, 2026 at 11:36 AM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
Man, I, for one, am utterly shocked that an alcoholic would want to plow ahead in a desperate attempt to stay one step in front of yesterday’s consequences. Totally unheard of for the archetype.
January 27, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
brandenp.bsky.social
One can only be a true gourmand if you pick up & eat dog shit off the ground. You just can’t experience the full spectrum that taste has to offer, without a mouthful of turd
January 27, 2026 at 5:17 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
gregdoucette.bsky.social
"Unitary Executive for everything except responsibilities"
January 27, 2026 at 3:29 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
reichlinmelnick.bsky.social
You have to read this. Firsthand affidavit from one of the women who was there and recording the video. She talks about how Alex Pretti was directing traffic when she arrived. She watched him be killed in front of her. She's afraid to go home, worried she'll be arrested.
1. I am a resident of the Whittier neighborhood of Minneapolis, Minnesota. I am over 18 years of age. I am a children's entertainer who specializes in face painting. 2. On Saturday, January 24, 2026, at about 8:50 am, I was getting ready to go to work when I heard whistles outside. I knew the whistles meant that ICE agents were in the area, so I decided to check it out on my way to work. I've been involved in observing in my community because it is so important to document what ICE is doing to my neighbors. Connecting to your local community and knowing who your neighbors are is something I profoundly value. 3. I drove to Nicollet Ave. and 26th where I could hear the whistles coming from. I turned south onto Nicollet. There were already several ICE agents there and they'd set up a sort of vehicle convoy on Nicollet and 28th. There were also about 15 observers there, recording and observing ICE. 4. I saw ICE agents surrounding cars and punching car windows. I also saw them stopping vehicles further down Nicollet, so I backed up because I didn't feel safe continuing on. 5. I noticed a man sort of acting to help traffic move more smoothly. He helped me find a place to park. I got out with my whistle and my camera. I went over to him and said something like, "I'm going to film and use my whistle." 6. It seemed like most ICE activity was happening a little farther down the street from us, near 27th. Someone was being thrown to the ground. 7. I started recording. There was an agent by a car across the street. Two observers were a few feet away from the agent, blowing their whistles. One was wearing a backpack. 8. I and the man who was observing and helping direct traffic were standing in the street. There was a phone in the man's hand recording a video. 9. An agent approached and asked us to back up, so I moved slowly back onto the sidewalk. 10. The man stayed in the street, filming as the other observers I mentioned earlier were being forced backward by another ICE agent threatening them with pepper spray. The man went closer to support them as they got threatened, just with his camera out. I didn't see him reach for or hold a gun. 11. Then the ICE agent shoved one of the other observers to the ground. Then he started pepper spraying all three of them directly in the face and all over. The man with the phone put his hands above his head and the agent sprayed him again and pushed him. 12. Then the man tried to help up the woman the ICE agent had shoved to the ground. The ICE agents just kept spraying. More agents came over and grabbed the man who was still trying to help the woman get up. All three of the observers looked to have been badly affected by the pepper spray. I could feel the pepper spray in my eyes. 13. The agents pulled the man on the ground. I didn't see him touch any of them-he wasn't even turned toward them. It didn't look like he was trying to resist, just trying to help the woman up. I didn't see him with a gun. They threw him to the ground. Four or five agents had him on the ground and they just started shooting him. They shot him so many times. 14.1 don't know why they shot him. He was only helping. I was five feet from him and they just shot him. 15. The video I recorded of what happened accurately depicts the events leading up to the agents shooting him and several minutes afterwards. The video is attached as Exhibit 1. 16. I have read the statement from DHS about what happened and it is wrong. The man did not approach the agents with a gun. He approached them with a camera. He was just trying to help a woman get up and they took him to the ground. 17. I feel afraid. Only hours have passed since they shot a man right in front me and I don't feel like I can go home because I heard agents were looking for me. I don't know what the agents will do when they find me. I do know that they're not telling the truth about what happened. I've heard that other witnesses might have been arrested and taken to the Whipple Building. 18. I am disgusted and gutted at how they are treating my neighbors and my state. I keep alternating between crying and feeling determined it is important to remember the value of documenting injustice. We show up for the people who need us to bear witness, because it can't just be one group of people bearing the brunt of their tyranny. This is a struggle to protect our freedom and democracy, those things are on the line. He lost his life for those values. I declare under penalty of perjury that everything I have stated in this document is true and correct. Dated and signed on Jan 24, 2026 in Hennepin County, State of Minnesota.
January 25, 2026 at 1:15 AM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
spryoldlorax.bsky.social
Anyone trying to push the absolute lie that Democrats are in any way the problem right now gets blocked. I'm so fucking done with you collaborating assholes.
January 24, 2026 at 6:30 PM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
January 22, 2026 at 10:19 PM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
Is there a good alternative to Ring? I gots to replace mine for reasons
January 22, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
texasobserver.org
Featured story, from @josephinelee.bsky.social: 92% of private schools already enrolled in the state's voucher programs serving kids beyond kindergarten are religious. An investigation by the Texas Observer found many of these exclude non-Christian and LGBTQ+ kids.
Texas Taxpayers Will Fund Dozens of Private Schools that Openly Discriminate
The state has signed off on voucher funds for schools that exclude non-Christian and LGBTQ+ kids.
www.texasobserver.org
January 20, 2026 at 6:41 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
opinionhaver.bsky.social
I’m becoming socially conservative in that I’m becoming a real tightass about civic virtue & honor. Fuck your boyfriend & his husband wearing dogsuits in private if you want, I don’t care at all, but I’m becoming pretty humorless about people feeling they have no obligation to any civic project
January 21, 2026 at 2:50 AM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
dieworkwear.bsky.social
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
January 20, 2026 at 8:18 PM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
I just read the story about the kidnapped duck. This place definitely has the juice.
January 20, 2026 at 4:41 AM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
musicologyduck.bsky.social
I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place
January 20, 2026 at 1:57 AM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
michaelianblack.bsky.social
Bro is about to become the first GoFundMe billionaire.
January 14, 2026 at 2:53 AM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
effeneffervescent.bsky.social
People forget Jim Davis was an assassin for the mob before Garfield took off. He learned how to draw in prison by forcefully tattooing his characters onto rival gang members.
January 13, 2026 at 7:57 PM
emceehammerpants.bsky.social
Homeboy is gonna come out of the Trump era missing some teeth (hopefully not) but with a HUGE Honda sponsorship (definitely).
whstancil.bsky.social Will Stancil @whstancil.bsky.social · Jan 13
Still ripping
January 13, 2026 at 11:17 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
deadcarl.bsky.social
The three big problems from woke 1.0 I see are:
1. the emphasis on language
2. the aversion to power
3. hyper-certitude
maiamindel.bsky.social Maia @maiamindel.bsky.social · Jan 13
wokeness was exactly the same as the new left, a groundswell of concern about structural inequalities that got completely devoured by marketing and became synonymous with extreme individualism and self promotion
onedayinjune.bsky.social Double Good Think @onedayinjune.bsky.social · Jan 13
One of the most contradictory and frustrating aspects of the first Woke Era was that people talked a lot about structural injustices but seemed way more concerned with policing personal behaviour
January 13, 2026 at 6:30 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
musicologyduck.bsky.social
Crowd standing in front of ICE building chanting “abolish ice”
January 11, 2026 at 7:57 PM
Reposted by Emcee Hammerpants
proptermalone.bsky.social
mainline clergy acquitting themselves very well lately
iwillnotbesilenced.bsky.social Raider @iwillnotbesilenced.bsky.social · Jan 9
Pastor: I said to this ICE agent, 'Take me, stop harassing her.' The agent got in my face, pointed a gun at me, and said, 'Are you afraid now?' To which I said, 'I am not afraid.'
January 9, 2026 at 2:04 AM