Michael Ian Black
@michaelianblack.bsky.social
Just a guy who works in an office lol
Motion to replace the phrase "take a shower" with "have a shower." I'm about to have a shower.
November 25, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Motion to replace the phrase "take a shower" with "have a shower." I'm about to have a shower.
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
I’m at the ‘Ted Kaczynski actually made some good points’ stage of the tech cycle.
Google at its peak was basically the best information retrieval system in human history and they and every competitor decided going from there to “you didn’t want answers you wanted half-assed auto-complete 80%-wrong hallucinations” in a few years was the right idea
November 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
I’m at the ‘Ted Kaczynski actually made some good points’ stage of the tech cycle.
The Genesis Project is meant to "harness Federal scientific databases... [and will] bring together our Nation’s research and development resources [with] the efforts of brilliant American scientists."
Bro, you fired them all.
Bro, you fired them all.
"the president has directed the Department of Energy to launch an AI project called the genesis mission" sounds like something out of a technothriller
www.whitehouse.gov/presidential...
www.whitehouse.gov/presidential...
Launching the Genesis Mission
By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered: Section 1. Purpose.
www.whitehouse.gov
November 25, 2025 at 12:19 AM
The Genesis Project is meant to "harness Federal scientific databases... [and will] bring together our Nation’s research and development resources [with] the efforts of brilliant American scientists."
Bro, you fired them all.
Bro, you fired them all.
“The uncertainty of my career also provides its greatest joy. In my business, one is always a phone call away from a life-changing opportunity. But I don’t want my life to change. I like everything about my life - my spouse, my home, one of my kids.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/i-too-will...
I, Too, Will One Day Drive A School Bus
A couple days ago, I announced my retirement from stand-up comedy. It’s something I’d been thinking about for a while and it comes on the heels of my new obsession, which is running retirement scenari...
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 11:57 PM
“The uncertainty of my career also provides its greatest joy. In my business, one is always a phone call away from a life-changing opportunity. But I don’t want my life to change. I like everything about my life - my spouse, my home, one of my kids.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/i-too-will...
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
Sunday Snack Day
When the world is a shitshow, we still have snacks.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:20 PM
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
A good review of our latest offering from Kirkus. Huzzah!
"A sound reminder for all—both kids and the adults who are responsible for scheduling their time." YAY, Kirkus likes I'M BUSY by @michaelianblack.bsky.social & me! ❤️💛💙💚🧡 www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews...
Note: "brilliant endpapers" were designed by the fabulous Laurent Linn at S&S, not me.
Note: "brilliant endpapers" were designed by the fabulous Laurent Linn at S&S, not me.
I'M BUSY | Kirkus Reviews
Actor, comedian, and writer Black and illustrator Ohi team up once more, this time for the story of an overscheduled youngster who must make time to relax.
www.kirkusreviews.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:23 PM
A good review of our latest offering from Kirkus. Huzzah!
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
Sunday Snack Day
When the world is a shitshow, we still have snacks.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:20 PM
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
Glory to Mother Queens
Zohran Mamdani launched a Thanksgiving charm offense aimed squarely at the president, resulting in Donald Trump himself becoming the day’s main course.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 5:05 PM
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
I'll trade Elvis wig guy for the guy who decided presidents are above the law.
Missouri Judge Who Wore Elvis Wig in Court Agrees to Resign www.nytimes.com/2025/11/20/u...
And I’m gifting this one because it’s really funny
And I’m gifting this one because it’s really funny
Missouri Judge Who Wore Elvis Wig in Court Agrees to Resign
www.nytimes.com
November 22, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I'll trade Elvis wig guy for the guy who decided presidents are above the law.
Oh boy! Maybe my copy arrives today!!! Can’t wait for this book to be out in the wild. Deals with over-scheduled kids and also talking potatoes.
LOOK WHAT *JUST* ARRIVED, along w/sweet note from @jpchanda.bsky.social!
I'M BUSY by @michaelianblack.bsky.social & me launches 2025-02-24 @simonkids.bsky.social. More re: our I'M series: debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
Pre-order: bookshop.org/p/books/i-m-...
Photo: @jridpath.bsky.social #KidLit
I'M BUSY by @michaelianblack.bsky.social & me launches 2025-02-24 @simonkids.bsky.social. More re: our I'M series: debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
Pre-order: bookshop.org/p/books/i-m-...
Photo: @jridpath.bsky.social #KidLit
November 22, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Oh boy! Maybe my copy arrives today!!! Can’t wait for this book to be out in the wild. Deals with over-scheduled kids and also talking potatoes.
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
Glory to Mother Queens
Zohran Mamdani launched a Thanksgiving charm offense aimed squarely at the president, resulting in Donald Trump himself becoming the day’s main course.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 5:05 PM
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
Will she be returning to Mordor?
BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene says she's resigning from Congress — effective January 5, 2026.
November 22, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Will she be returning to Mordor?
This guy's got a special. Watch his instead of mine (which isn't out yet, anyway).
Hey fellow Comedy Dynamics buddy, on your way out, care to give my special a little bump? It cuts a much different path than most, trying to teach men not to be afraid of their feelings: www.comedydynamics.com/catalog/ryan... I'm poor, so was never able to advertise it.
Ryan James: I'm Fine - Comedy Dynamics
In Ryan James: I'm Fine, James takes a deep dive into the darkest of places without a trace of self-pity in a hilarious performance that rises into a heart-warming.
www.comedydynamics.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:40 PM
This guy's got a special. Watch his instead of mine (which isn't out yet, anyway).
“Stand-up comedy is for vagabonds and people incapable of keeping inappropriate remark to themselves. It’s for malcontents and weirdos. I’m no longer any of those things.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/goodnight-...
Goodnight, Room
On quitting stand-up
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 2:45 PM
“Stand-up comedy is for vagabonds and people incapable of keeping inappropriate remark to themselves. It’s for malcontents and weirdos. I’m no longer any of those things.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/goodnight-...
Watching the Bills/Texans game and just deduced that I am older than many of the players' parents. Profoundly upsetting.
November 21, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Watching the Bills/Texans game and just deduced that I am older than many of the players' parents. Profoundly upsetting.
I'm guessing they're going to classify the pride flag as a hate symbol.
The U.S. Coast Guard in new materials reviewed by USA TODAY called swastikas and nooses "potentially divisive symbols."
Coast Guard document calls swastikas, nooses 'potentially divisive symbols'
The U.S. Coast Guard in new materials reviewed by USA TODAY called swastikas and nooses "potentially divisive symbols."
bit.ly
November 20, 2025 at 11:46 PM
I'm guessing they're going to classify the pride flag as a hate symbol.
And so handsome!
Loved seeing @michaelianblack.bsky.social’s special the other night! Will watch again when it’s released! So funny!
November 20, 2025 at 9:43 PM
And so handsome!
"In the first term, we worried that our president was beholden to Russia. In this term, we worry that the rest of the world learned the lesson Putin taught – for the right price, Trump will be your bitch." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/a-sphincte...
A Sphincter That Just Won't Quit
With the imminent release of the Epstein files, it feels as though we’ve entered a new, and potentially dangerious, phase in the second Trump presidency: the economy remains tenuous, he’s backpedaling...
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 20, 2025 at 5:29 PM
"In the first term, we worried that our president was beholden to Russia. In this term, we worry that the rest of the world learned the lesson Putin taught – for the right price, Trump will be your bitch." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/a-sphincte...
Confirmed!
@michaelianblack.bsky.social can you confirm or deny — and I’m guessing it’s the latter — that you only just discovered the MATES Reddit page?
November 20, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Confirmed!
For the Daily Beast, I wrote about the new and improved Marjorie Taylor Greene. SPOILER: I think she's full of shit. www.thedailybeast.com/there-are-no...
Why We’re All Winning Bigly In Trump’s War With MTG—and We Won’t Tire of Winning
I think Marjorie Taylor Greene is a loathsome, self-serving narcissist. But if she can make life even one iota more unpleasant for the current President of the United States, then I say go for it, mea...
www.thedailybeast.com
November 19, 2025 at 10:55 PM
For the Daily Beast, I wrote about the new and improved Marjorie Taylor Greene. SPOILER: I think she's full of shit. www.thedailybeast.com/there-are-no...
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
A NEW pod episode of HIGNFYE with guest @amfmpm.bsky.social! Don’t miss an episode! Follow us on Apple, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Even better watch the vodcast on Spotify or on the Have I Got News For You YouTube channel.
November 19, 2025 at 10:32 PM
A NEW pod episode of HIGNFYE with guest @amfmpm.bsky.social! Don’t miss an episode! Follow us on Apple, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Even better watch the vodcast on Spotify or on the Have I Got News For You YouTube channel.
I love Myq. Best kind of weirdo there is and I’m excited to check out his new special!
TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT!
My new one-hour stand-up special “Rini” debuts on YouTube at 8pm eastern time and I am super excited about it!
A long time coming, my first hour special in over a decade and the first one ever co-created with my wonderful partner Rini!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0uf...
My new one-hour stand-up special “Rini” debuts on YouTube at 8pm eastern time and I am super excited about it!
A long time coming, my first hour special in over a decade and the first one ever co-created with my wonderful partner Rini!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0uf...
November 19, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I love Myq. Best kind of weirdo there is and I’m excited to check out his new special!
Checked in on my inactive Twitter account.
November 19, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Checked in on my inactive Twitter account.
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
It says they got what they wanted. The media wanted a shit show that kept us glued to our phones and they got it. All they had to do was sell their soul - and sell America out - to do it. They LOVE this shit.
So what does it say about the state of the 🇺🇸 Press Corps that Trump sticking his finger in a reporter’s face and shouting “Quiet, Piggy!” at her was broken by @peoplemag.bsky.social?
Donald Trump Snaps at Female Reporter Who Asks About Epstein Files: 'Quiet Piggy'
Donald Trump Says 'Quiet Piggy' to Female Reporter Asking About Epstein Files
people.com
November 19, 2025 at 3:07 AM
It says they got what they wanted. The media wanted a shit show that kept us glued to our phones and they got it. All they had to do was sell their soul - and sell America out - to do it. They LOVE this shit.
HERO!
Heading to the Cutting Room tonight to see a @michaelianblack.bsky.social comedy special taping. The last time I attended one was almost exactly ten years ago. I will try not to raise my hand this time, because stealing the show twice would just be bratty.
November 18, 2025 at 10:10 PM
HERO!