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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof

@evanbernick.bsky.social

23K followers 610 following 25K posts

Associate Prof at Northern Illinois University College of Law. Constitutional law, criminal law, abolition, philosophy, hoops, puppies (esp. Argo the Floof). “Mildly Sephirothic at worst.” He/him.

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 5h

Who is enriched by pennies. What is a penny. Does she carry them with her in case of emergency

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 5h

What the fuck is any of that

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 5h

Why do you need to go out to download music

Thomas [redacted] DO @tom.medsky.social · 8h

Who downloads music anymore. Does Kristi Noem still have an iPod?

Part of a tweet from Benny Johnson quoting Noem today.

"Zach, I didn't listen to your music. I'm happy about that today. Today, that makes me very happy that I never once gave you a single penny to enrich your lifestyle. I am going to go out and probably download some Jason Aldean, John Rich, Kid Rock, and Jon Pardi songs.”

@Sec_Noem says she will be boycotting Zach Bryan.

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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof

Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 15h

Thanks, New Yorker

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 8h

I’m just saying, it would work as some kind of Article III metaphor

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 8h

this really does give CJ Roberts too much credit

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 10h

thedispatch.com/article/pete...

Dress Codes vs. Codes of Honor

Pete Hegseth’s selective interpretation of what a soldier should look like.

thedispatch.com

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 10h

i gotta admit, this is pretty good.

The allure of delusional self-adoration can be powerful. When a junior high vice principal made me cut my hair (picture your obedient correspondent at 15 with a blond Robert Smith- circa-Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me rats' nest), I was much offended. I believed, in the sincerest possible way, that I was a unique, very special, possibly heroic 15-year-old, one destined for great things, and, above all, one whose autonomy and personal sense of self had to be respected at all
times, damn the rules. It all seemed incontrovertible at the time. But I am not in junior
high school anymore. Pete Hegseth somehow is.
Princeton owes him a refund.
And his tailor owes him an apology.

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h

Only one of them has immunity from prosecution and we are in the midst of a constitutional crisis where they rightly believe that a lot of extraordinary things could happen

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h

None of them has any future beyond this administration so they’re acting like it will never end in the hopes that will somehow make it so

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h

it’s all power projection, calculated to make their very precarious positions seem hopelessly entrenched and discourage opposition

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h

They are *definitely* afraid of the consequences, though.

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h

Yeah this is true for the whole crew

Andrea Junker @strandjunker.com · 13h

You can joke about Pam Bondi’s ridiculous unprofessionalism all you want, but I’m deeply shocked by it: She acts as if she fears absolutely no consequences, convinced that there will be no more political power transfers. — This should shake everyone to their core.

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h

*This was seconds before the Antifa attack, burgerville no longer exists

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h

when you girlboss too close to hellfire

Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h

“Lord, please bless this Burgerville and everyone within this Burgerville and deliver us from the moral, legal, and if possible eternal consequences of our actions“

Alex Zielinski @alexzee.bsky.social · 13h

Apropos of nothing, Sec. Kristi Noem is currently praying over Burgerville with Portland ICE officials.

A screenshot of a video of Noem praying at a conference table with other people wearing suits. Fast food bags and water bottles sit on the table.

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h

When space gives you Lemmon… www.astronomy.com/observing/ho...

How to see Comet Lemmon

Catch it soon, or you’ll have to wait more than a thousand years.

www.astronomy.com

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h

Floof retrieve extremely floofy movie in FloofK. Good floof.

Close up of Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me in 4k. Floofy doggo in background

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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof

WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 12h

This is Boksil. She is reaching levels of cozy previously unheard of. 12/10 a trailblazer (IG: with_bokdanji)

a small cream colored dog stares up at us. this is Boksil, swaddled in a grey robe, and tucked underneath a thick blanket on a bed. her little paws poke out of the robe's sleeves, and her toe beans are in full view. her tiny pink tongue mlems from her grinning mouth.

a higher angle of Boksil. a small yellow pillow rests beside her for scale, and her eyes are closed peacefully as she rests swaddled under a white blanket, looking very cozy.

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h

Ok lol I suppose I get it. I just noticed it because it used to say recordings were available and now it says this

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h

Whoaaa

Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h

When the tiny hooman invades ur bed and u must scratch it out

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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof

Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 16h

Today marks the two-year anniversary of the horrific October 7 attack.

As we mourn the 1,218 lives lost that day, let us also keep alive the dream of a lasting peace and a better future for all.

Ceasefire now. Every hostage must come home. And a safer world for everyone.

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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof

Matt Bodie @matthewtbodie.bsky.social · 13h

Anyone else find it weird that Zoom calls cloud recordings “meeting assets”?

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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 13h

YEAH WHATS UP WITH THAT

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