C.A. Pinkham
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eyepatchguy.bsky.social
C.A. Pinkham
@eyepatchguy.bsky.social
12K followers 840 following 48K posts
I write stuff and talk about restaurant stories a lot. Also I won’t shut up about the Mongolian Empire. He/him

Bylines @ Jezebel, @ Jewish Currents, @ Thrillist, @ Daily Meal, @ FanBuzz, @ FanByte

[email protected]
Posts Replies Media Videos
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Like come on now
Rates of diabetes in American adults showing massively higher numbers among groups other than white people
January 19, 2026 at 4:05 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Hey you guys should report @4allout.bsky.social for…whatever this is
allout @4allout.bsky.social • 9d I'm going to say what everybody is thinking: This is anti-nazi slop. We don't need any more anti-nazi slop shoved down our throats, we need authentic, nuanced, balanced and unbiased takes on World War II. IGN Y @ign.com • 10d Another entry in the Wolfenstein franchise may be on the way, according to multiple reports today. Specifically, a Wolfenstein 3. bit.ly/4910z9X
January 18, 2026 at 7:05 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
None of them have ever engaged before, this is interesting
+1 (646) 498-9692) lext message • KUS Today 2:39 PM Are you awake? This is a really weird scam Excuse me, is this Ms. Amy? I'm not sure whether the number my assistant provided to me is correct. Dude fuck off Fku Stop fucking scamming people you pathetic little leech If someone killed you slowly and painfully it would count as a civic good Ask for death, bitch. There's a reason no one has ever loved you nor will they ever love you, you tiny dicked little shitstain Everyone you've ever met has immediately hoped you got hit by a car Read 3:16 PM
January 16, 2026 at 8:18 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen one move before
January 11, 2026 at 7:24 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Damn, it had an arm on it? World class athletes really are made in a lab
USMNT's Pepi suffers broken arm scoring for PSV
January 11, 2026 at 2:06 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Begging you to get a life and not be this specific sort of insufferable fucking weirdo
emo's last beer @vrunt.social • 9h O he/him hypermimetic exclamations do as much damage to the mind as repeat LLM usage posting a reply like "none of those words are in the bible" and "sir this is a wendy's" have the same effect as consulting with chatGPT for an hour
January 10, 2026 at 8:25 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Y’all wanna see some fucking deranged quote tweets
HFS @hfs-dev.bsky.social Follow Fuck you, fuck your analysis, fuck your country and fuck your president! He kidnapped the president of another country, and that's a crime! Sky Marchini @sky.skymarchini.net • 15h • they/them OK, crash course in oil. Oil has two main gradings, viscosity (light or heavy) and sulfur (sweet or sour). A light (low viscosity) and sweet (low sulfur) oil is easier to process into gasoline and other products than a heavy and sour one, so the light & sweet oil commands a premium price. This is vile. Liberals are a cancer. I'm gonna say this in english because it's the only language you know: go fuck yourself. your country just bombed a civilian area and kidnapped another country's president and what you're worried about is oil quality? americans are demented and deserve the shit you're in. don't try to export it. Prefeito da Detroit Meridional @snel.bsky.social Follow Look at this sick wanker here. His country just kidnapped a president and his wife and he's talking about Venezuelan oil quality. Que gringo filho duma puta, mesmo. Enfia o petróleo no centro do teu cu, imundicie.
January 4, 2026 at 12:14 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
*All*-purpose, you say?
A container of seasoning labeled “all purpose lube seasoning”
January 3, 2026 at 5:45 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
I need to know the name of every person on here who argued that $30 was an acceptable rate so I can end their bloodline personally
it's gita time @xoxogossipgita.bsky.social • 1h • they/them For saying $30 is a bad rate for freelance Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehou... • 7h What's the funniest reason someone got mad at you on Bluesky this year? it's gita time @xoxogossipgita.bsky.social • they/them Fuck you all very much by the way
December 31, 2025 at 12:39 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
I’ve got y’all beat for weirdest map
A map of where I’d live. The entire south is lit up red bc it’s too fucking hot
December 30, 2025 at 11:51 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Highlight of the above post
December 26, 2025 at 5:55 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Big bird
A hyacinth macaw
December 26, 2025 at 4:31 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Your cookies have Seen Things
Molly’s shooketh cookeths
December 24, 2025 at 2:53 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
A couple weeks ago I was looking for a list of Americans tried for treason against the federal government. There are nine separate major errors in this and this is a search for very basic information. If you think historians should be using this, you’re a fucking idiot
Gazgle Q list of all 40 people tried for treason (30 Sign in Al Mode All News Images Videos Shopping Sh • Al Overview WDk +6： While there isn't a definitive list of exactly 40 people tried for treason, fewer than 40 federal prosecutions for treason have occurred in U.S. history, resulting in about a dozen convictions and very few executions, with notable figures including Benedict Arnold, John Brown, Tokyo Rose, and the Rosenbergs, demonstrating the extreme rarity of federal treason cases, defined by the Constitution as levying war or aiding enemies. Here are some prominent examples and context: Key Figures & Cases: • Benedict Arnold: The most famous American traitor, though his case was during the Revolutionary War before the Constitution, he became a British general. • Whiskey Rebellion (Late 1790s): Philip Vigil and John Mitchell were convicted but pardoned by George Washington. • John Brown (1859): Convicted of treason against Virginia for his raid, executed for aiding slave insurrections. • Civil War Era (1860s): William Bruce Mumford was executed for tearing down a U.S. flag in New Orleans. 11:25 9:00PM = 30 Here are some prominent examples and context:
December 21, 2025 at 7:57 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Oh so you’re a *special* kind of dickhead
Razzball @razzball.bsky.social • 1h Should make her Time's Person of the Year every year 911 Breaking911 호 Subscribe @Breaking911 Taylor Swift's Eras Tour generated $2 billion, and she rewarded her staff with $197 million in bonuses-from dancers receiving $750,000 each (five times their annual salary) to truck drivers getting $100,000 each, matching a typical yearly wage. segadreamcastjr.bsky.social @segadreamcastjr.bsky.social its so kind of her to give regular people her scraps G. Mourning (Illegal W... @glonzomo... • 1h man you gotta be some special kind of asshole to be upset that some people received life changing money in an act of kindness G. Mourning (Illegal W.. @glonzomo... • 1h man you gotta be some special kind of asshole to be upset that some people received life changing money in an act of kindness segadreamcastjr.bsky.social @segadream... • 1h i just think all people as rich as her are leaches and inherently bad people:) economy hater ™ @doomscroll.bsky.social • 1h However, there is like a thousand way worse ones to be mad about. segadreamcastjr.bsky.social @segadream... • 1h lol
December 20, 2025 at 1:50 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
What’s funny is this could actually describe a lot of video games rather than just the one it actually did
“Excited to beat up more literal Japanese children?” “What a weird sentence out of context”
December 19, 2025 at 9:54 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
I don’t give a single tin shit about JFK but scrubbing Trump’s name from literally everything he poisons it with has to be one of the biggest priorities for any new administration. I’m not kidding; this is legitimately extremely important
Headline about the Kennedy center changing its name to become the Trump-Kennedy center
December 18, 2025 at 8:15 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Chart showing Gen X as responsible for trumps 2024 win
December 15, 2025 at 1:07 AM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Mid-20s but holy shit I will never ever shut up about this game, it *still* rips. Better in every possible way than GTA, including visually (it doesn’t have the same overwhelming graphical power but it feasts on art direction)
Sleeping dogs cover art
December 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
My wife, with family present, talking about snow: I doubt it’ll be six inches but it might be three or four

Me:
Forehead vein meme guy
December 12, 2025 at 10:27 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Whether you care about Letitia James (I don’t, particularly) is irrelevant to the fact that this is *extremely* funny
A Grand Jury Again Declines to Re-Indict Letitia James The back-to-back failures by prosecutors to secure an indictment against the New York attorney general amounted to a striking rejection of the Trump administration's retribution campaign.
December 11, 2025 at 9:00 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Yeah that checks out
My PlayStation wrap. There are two yakuza games, two samurai games (ghost of Yotei and ac shadows, and I guess like a dragon ishin is also a samurai game) and elder scrolls oblivion
December 10, 2025 at 9:03 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
Nothing would make me happier than people starting to use this screenshot I took when Jen's computer froze during game as a reaction image
Jen looking indescribable. You can't ask me to put what's happening here into words. It cannot be done.
December 10, 2025 at 6:21 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
HMMMMMMMMM
A baseballreference chart showing "Most Similar by Ages" player comparisons to Chris Davis. Pete Alonso is right in the middle there
December 10, 2025 at 6:18 PM
eyepatchguy.bsky.social
This is absolutely fucking deranged
Taylor Lorenz & @TaylorLorenz Same with Covid right now currently. This is exactly what disabled people are currently experiencing right now during the ongoing pandemic, stigmatization, people gleefully cheering their deaths on the right and the left. Yet it's totally normalized on the internet/in the media Gillian Branstetter @GBBranstetter • 2d I think most people understand the Republican response to AIDS in the 80s/90s as apathy or silence but they were genuinely quite gleeful about it
December 9, 2025 at 8:49 PM