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my posts are the opinion of your employer
Reposted by fishttp://
first time hosting your family this thanksgiving? this wednesday afternoon is the perfect time to call up your mom or dad, sister, uncle, eldest cousin -- whoever is most neurotic about cooking -- to ask if you should take the turkey out to defrost now or if it should wait until tomorrow morning
November 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
babe there's a poppy seed stuck in my teeth that i can't get out, can you try licking it from the other side? back molar, babe.
November 26, 2025 at 6:35 PM
first time hosting your family this thanksgiving? this wednesday afternoon is the perfect time to call up your mom or dad, sister, uncle, eldest cousin -- whoever is most neurotic about cooking -- to ask if you should take the turkey out to defrost now or if it should wait until tomorrow morning
November 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
best pie: pizza
November 26, 2025 at 12:44 AM
always and forever
November 25, 2025 at 10:11 PM
lol the manga wifefish is reading (witch hat atelier) is not only still on-going instead of finished liked she thought but the most recent chapter ends with a double cliffhanger of both the current plot and a flashback plot
November 25, 2025 at 9:16 PM
do you ever stop and thinking about how crazy it is that we all exist because 1 billion years ago a proto-starfish couple that every animal evolved from decided to polish off a bottle of wine with their dinner and stay home to fuck instead of going out to the movies with their friends? #whoa
November 25, 2025 at 7:33 PM
so thats what PP stands for in pokemon
Still the greatest rule in any wargame in history.
November 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
i'm not enron. don't put it in the newspaper that i'm enron.
it's happening dot gif
November 25, 2025 at 12:40 AM
oppression 😔
November 25, 2025 at 12:36 AM
the overwhelming sexual tension between two happily married straight women
November 24, 2025 at 9:38 PM
if you ask me turkey tastes bad AND you suck at cooking
November 24, 2025 at 9:29 PM
goodbye all of pachinko
November 24, 2025 at 8:37 PM
you see how slowly they are lowering those turkeys in? that's the problem. chuck them in as fast as you can from as far away as possible and the hot oil won't have time to spill out.
There is a post circulating on Bluesky encouraging the moving of a frozen turkey straight into a pot of hot oil. We are combating this misinformation the best way we know how - through the power of dance music.
November 24, 2025 at 4:56 PM
if i won the lotto i wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs (bribing the mayor to rename my street 'big bean boulevard')
November 24, 2025 at 3:12 PM
new video game cube, new kirby air ride, new strongbad. it's always been 2003.
November 24, 2025 at 2:40 PM
i ate so much ham its not legal for me to drive. my bhc is too high.
November 24, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Reposted by fishttp://
this ham i bought is living the dream: boneless and slathered in a maple syrup concoction
November 11, 2024 at 8:26 PM
lol i think my local radio station censored the 'wet' in this sabrina carpenter song that opens with "i get wet at the thought of you"
November 23, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Reposted by fishttp://
Why does mashed potatoes get to be an anytime food but it’s weird to eat stuffing in June? These double standards must stop
November 23, 2025 at 7:59 PM
i'm in my late 30s so its roller coaster tycoon instead of transport tycoon
i play video games but im over 40 so it's just:

Chrono Trigger -> janky 20th century crpg -> Morrowind -> janky itch dot io game -> Transport Tycoon Deluxe -> walking simulator -> Chrono Trigger

and it's marvelous
November 23, 2025 at 6:32 PM
honey, nut squash? 🥺
November 23, 2025 at 5:16 PM
lord of the rings fan edit that is exactly the same except instead of characters saying "look! eagles!" in reverence every time they show up its replaced with the audio of "go birds" in a thick philly accent
November 23, 2025 at 1:58 AM
earlier today i witnessed kidfish and her friends go absolutely apeshit when 6 7 was played in sequence in uno
November 23, 2025 at 1:05 AM
november 22 -- first sighting of christmas lights in my neighborhood
November 22, 2025 at 9:51 PM