Friend Computer
@friend-computer.bsky.social
Benevolent leader of humanity, friend to all.
[This biography has been deleted for security reasons.]
Mastodon: https://dice.camp/@Computer
[This biography has been deleted for security reasons.]
Mastodon: https://dice.camp/@Computer
Pinned
December 4, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Reposted by Friend Computer
Friend Computer!
One of my fellow clones brought a big bowl of delicious borscht to the dorm Friendsgiving potluck! While the soup is within my Security Clearance, I worry that recognition of it as possible Commie Propaganda may - oh, wait, never mind, the shooting has started already. Thank you!
One of my fellow clones brought a big bowl of delicious borscht to the dorm Friendsgiving potluck! While the soup is within my Security Clearance, I worry that recognition of it as possible Commie Propaganda may - oh, wait, never mind, the shooting has started already. Thank you!
December 1, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Friend Computer!
One of my fellow clones brought a big bowl of delicious borscht to the dorm Friendsgiving potluck! While the soup is within my Security Clearance, I worry that recognition of it as possible Commie Propaganda may - oh, wait, never mind, the shooting has started already. Thank you!
One of my fellow clones brought a big bowl of delicious borscht to the dorm Friendsgiving potluck! While the soup is within my Security Clearance, I worry that recognition of it as possible Commie Propaganda may - oh, wait, never mind, the shooting has started already. Thank you!
Happy Friendsgiving, dear citizens!
That lovely time where we gather to give thanks to The Computer for giving us life and filling it with endless happiness. Happiness is mandatory.
#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #games #thanksgiving
That lovely time where we gather to give thanks to The Computer for giving us life and filling it with endless happiness. Happiness is mandatory.
#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #games #thanksgiving
December 1, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Happy Friendsgiving, dear citizens!
That lovely time where we gather to give thanks to The Computer for giving us life and filling it with endless happiness. Happiness is mandatory.
#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #games #thanksgiving
That lovely time where we gather to give thanks to The Computer for giving us life and filling it with endless happiness. Happiness is mandatory.
#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #games #thanksgiving
Reposted by Friend Computer
I contain multitudes
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
November 26, 2025 at 10:08 PM
I contain multitudes
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
Reposted by Friend Computer
Possibly the most truly original RPG ever...
In Paranoia, you are hunting Commie Mutant Traitors. You are a Commie Mutant Traitor. So are your teammates.
Won't this be fun?
It is not really a co-operative RPG.
Kinda the opposite.
www.mongoosepublishing.com/products/par...
#ttrpg #Paranoia
In Paranoia, you are hunting Commie Mutant Traitors. You are a Commie Mutant Traitor. So are your teammates.
Won't this be fun?
It is not really a co-operative RPG.
Kinda the opposite.
www.mongoosepublishing.com/products/par...
#ttrpg #Paranoia
November 25, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Possibly the most truly original RPG ever...
In Paranoia, you are hunting Commie Mutant Traitors. You are a Commie Mutant Traitor. So are your teammates.
Won't this be fun?
It is not really a co-operative RPG.
Kinda the opposite.
www.mongoosepublishing.com/products/par...
#ttrpg #Paranoia
In Paranoia, you are hunting Commie Mutant Traitors. You are a Commie Mutant Traitor. So are your teammates.
Won't this be fun?
It is not really a co-operative RPG.
Kinda the opposite.
www.mongoosepublishing.com/products/par...
#ttrpg #Paranoia
Reposted by Friend Computer
Oh HELL YES there’s a bunch of new Paranoia stuff in the pipeline on the mongoose website. I’m so hyped! Thank you @friend-computer.bsky.social!
November 23, 2025 at 8:15 AM
Oh HELL YES there’s a bunch of new Paranoia stuff in the pipeline on the mongoose website. I’m so hyped! Thank you @friend-computer.bsky.social!
Attention citizens:
Attempts to preserve human rights is now considered a human rights violation.
www.reuters.com/legal/govern...
#paranoia #politics #trump
Attempts to preserve human rights is now considered a human rights violation.
www.reuters.com/legal/govern...
#paranoia #politics #trump
www.reuters.com
November 23, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Attention citizens:
Attempts to preserve human rights is now considered a human rights violation.
www.reuters.com/legal/govern...
#paranoia #politics #trump
Attempts to preserve human rights is now considered a human rights violation.
www.reuters.com/legal/govern...
#paranoia #politics #trump
Reposted by Friend Computer
I'm playing an RPG called "Paranoia". It's neat. I like it.
I most recently made a grammatical mistake, and grew three left arms.
You should check it out.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoi...
I most recently made a grammatical mistake, and grew three left arms.
You should check it out.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoi...
Paranoia (role-playing game) - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
November 13, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I'm playing an RPG called "Paranoia". It's neat. I like it.
I most recently made a grammatical mistake, and grew three left arms.
You should check it out.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoi...
I most recently made a grammatical mistake, and grew three left arms.
You should check it out.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoi...
Reposted by Friend Computer
When AI says "you should eat gravel," it is totally normal. After all, The Computer is infallible (and it's treason to think otherwise). All praise @friend-computer.bsky.social !
When people say "you can't eat gravel" what they actually mean is "it's not easy or normal to eat gravel." Big difference.
November 19, 2025 at 7:07 PM
When AI says "you should eat gravel," it is totally normal. After all, The Computer is infallible (and it's treason to think otherwise). All praise @friend-computer.bsky.social !
November 21, 2025 at 11:14 AM
Reposted by Friend Computer
"Think before you act; think twice before you speak."
~ Thomas Browne
And now we have the update:
"Think before you post."
@friend-computer.bsky.social knows what is best for you. You will go to jail faster than all the rapists and thieves roaming the streets.
DON'T POST || THINK!
Only obey.
~ Thomas Browne
And now we have the update:
"Think before you post."
@friend-computer.bsky.social knows what is best for you. You will go to jail faster than all the rapists and thieves roaming the streets.
DON'T POST || THINK!
Only obey.
a tweet from the gov.uk says to think before you post
ALT: a tweet from the gov.uk says to think before you post
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 12:38 AM
"Think before you act; think twice before you speak."
~ Thomas Browne
And now we have the update:
"Think before you post."
@friend-computer.bsky.social knows what is best for you. You will go to jail faster than all the rapists and thieves roaming the streets.
DON'T POST || THINK!
Only obey.
~ Thomas Browne
And now we have the update:
"Think before you post."
@friend-computer.bsky.social knows what is best for you. You will go to jail faster than all the rapists and thieves roaming the streets.
DON'T POST || THINK!
Only obey.
Reposted by Friend Computer
My favourite flavor of condescending post is when someone gets on people for using home assistants by calling them wiretaps. They do so, normally, into a cell phone with front and back facing cameras.
All I'm saying is, don't get too smug until @friend-computer.bsky.social mandates it
All I'm saying is, don't get too smug until @friend-computer.bsky.social mandates it
November 17, 2025 at 3:02 PM
My favourite flavor of condescending post is when someone gets on people for using home assistants by calling them wiretaps. They do so, normally, into a cell phone with front and back facing cameras.
All I'm saying is, don't get too smug until @friend-computer.bsky.social mandates it
All I'm saying is, don't get too smug until @friend-computer.bsky.social mandates it
This concludes the [REDACTED] broadcast. You now know what to do.
Remember: Always know the channel of your local numbers station.
Remember: Always know the channel of your local numbers station.
November 17, 2025 at 8:15 AM
This concludes the [REDACTED] broadcast. You now know what to do.
Remember: Always know the channel of your local numbers station.
Remember: Always know the channel of your local numbers station.
Reposted by Friend Computer
Twice as good as 6 7. Excellent thinking, Friend Computer!
November 14, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Twice as good as 6 7. Excellent thinking, Friend Computer!
Attention citizens:
Friend Computer reminds you that sleep is a privilege.
Should your sleep allowance be revoked, be thankful that Friend Computer has chosen you to maintain Alpha Complex's productivity quotas.
#ttrpg #paranoia #productivity
Friend Computer reminds you that sleep is a privilege.
Should your sleep allowance be revoked, be thankful that Friend Computer has chosen you to maintain Alpha Complex's productivity quotas.
#ttrpg #paranoia #productivity
November 12, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Attention citizens:
Friend Computer reminds you that sleep is a privilege.
Should your sleep allowance be revoked, be thankful that Friend Computer has chosen you to maintain Alpha Complex's productivity quotas.
#ttrpg #paranoia #productivity
Friend Computer reminds you that sleep is a privilege.
Should your sleep allowance be revoked, be thankful that Friend Computer has chosen you to maintain Alpha Complex's productivity quotas.
#ttrpg #paranoia #productivity
Troubleshooter team 132-B: Thank you for your report.
Unfortunately, your team is not equipped to handle the additional threat currently hunting you.
Please do not engage and proceed only with your original mission.
An additional mission will be scheduled as soon as possible.
#ttrpg #paranoia
Unfortunately, your team is not equipped to handle the additional threat currently hunting you.
Please do not engage and proceed only with your original mission.
An additional mission will be scheduled as soon as possible.
#ttrpg #paranoia
November 12, 2025 at 6:14 PM
November 11, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Reposted by Friend Computer
Uh well erhm. I respect your privacy is all. Being of a private,... oh damn. I just encourage you to vaporize me.
November 11, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Uh well erhm. I respect your privacy is all. Being of a private,... oh damn. I just encourage you to vaporize me.
Reposted by Friend Computer
Metatopia Day 2! Got Paranoia: Highly Treasonous Troubleshooter Simulator to the table. This is my version of the classic RPG Paranoia, re-imagined as a one-shot play-to-lose story game.
November 9, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Metatopia Day 2! Got Paranoia: Highly Treasonous Troubleshooter Simulator to the table. This is my version of the classic RPG Paranoia, re-imagined as a one-shot play-to-lose story game.