Gareth Cartman
@garethcartman.bsky.social
I ride bikes, write books about riding bikes (We Rode All Day, Walko, Koblet & Kubler and soon - We Rode All Night), wrote for The Road Book in 2024, I run a recruitment agency (theexample.co.uk) and suffer Everton FC.
It's OK, I can meet my American friends in Canada instead. They understand.
NEW: Five years of social media history is only a fraction of what the US Government will shortly demand of overseas visitors.
The full requirements will end tourism in the United States.
Below is the full, mind-blowing list.
🚨THEY. WANT. YOUR. DNA.🚨
1/
The full requirements will end tourism in the United States.
Below is the full, mind-blowing list.
🚨THEY. WANT. YOUR. DNA.🚨
1/
December 12, 2025 at 9:33 AM
It's OK, I can meet my American friends in Canada instead. They understand.
These incels should be in a cell. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Bye.
"Everything straight is actually gay" is my favourite kind of ragebait posts by these morons.
December 10, 2025 at 7:51 PM
These incels should be in a cell. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Bye.
We employed five graphic designers and put them all in separate rooms.
NSN Cycling Team - l'ancienne Israël-Premier Tech - présente son maillot pour la saison 2026.
La tunique s'inspire de Barcelone, la ville du sponsor principal. Pour rappel, Andres Iniesta est le cofondateur de l'entreprise.
La tunique s'inspire de Barcelone, la ville du sponsor principal. Pour rappel, Andres Iniesta est le cofondateur de l'entreprise.
December 9, 2025 at 12:04 PM
We employed five graphic designers and put them all in separate rooms.
Golf does not count as training
December 7, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Golf does not count as training
Harry Brook could get 200 here and I’d still hate watching him
December 4, 2025 at 7:14 AM
Harry Brook could get 200 here and I’d still hate watching him
I'm just showing off, but MY BOOK IS OUT NEXT MARCH DOESN'T IT LOOK NICE
December 1, 2025 at 5:15 PM
I'm just showing off, but MY BOOK IS OUT NEXT MARCH DOESN'T IT LOOK NICE
Every Beth Rigby question follows this framework: "Given that you're an abhorrent human being and you've f*cked everything up, and you can't organise a piss-up in a brewery, what do you say to those who say you're even worse than that?"
December 1, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Every Beth Rigby question follows this framework: "Given that you're an abhorrent human being and you've f*cked everything up, and you can't organise a piss-up in a brewery, what do you say to those who say you're even worse than that?"
Reposted by Gareth Cartman
Others: “What’s it like being an Everton supporter?”
Us: …
Us: …
November 24, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Others: “What’s it like being an Everton supporter?”
Us: …
Us: …
Reposted by Gareth Cartman
Might not last long, so enjoy it while you can
November 24, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Might not last long, so enjoy it while you can
Maybe a ten wicket defeat will force England to rethink? Grow up a little? (this post may not age well)
November 22, 2025 at 8:01 AM
Maybe a ten wicket defeat will force England to rethink? Grow up a little? (this post may not age well)
Only 100 days!!!
November 20, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Only 100 days!!!
Imagine being told you have to do this. And NOT resigning beforehand.
The Trump administration wants you to stop watching the BBC and watch GB News instead. Meanwhile this is what passes for “journalism” on GB News…
November 18, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Imagine being told you have to do this. And NOT resigning beforehand.
Twitter: why aren’t you having children?
Bluesky: congrats but your picture frames are a bit wonky there, sorry, congrats though
Bluesky: congrats but your picture frames are a bit wonky there, sorry, congrats though
POV: you are a young woman celebrating a recent academic success
November 18, 2025 at 7:55 AM
Twitter: why aren’t you having children?
Bluesky: congrats but your picture frames are a bit wonky there, sorry, congrats though
Bluesky: congrats but your picture frames are a bit wonky there, sorry, congrats though
Labour's 2029 campaign strapline of "We're Utter Vermin" doesn't seem like the banger they thought.
November 17, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Labour's 2029 campaign strapline of "We're Utter Vermin" doesn't seem like the banger they thought.
Great Poping here
Some inspiring words on cinema in the streaming era from the Pope.
Yes, THAT Pope.
Yes, THAT Pope.
November 15, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Great Poping here
I dunno, maybe it's difficult being Chancellor. Almost impossible.
UK government bonds sink after Reeves ditches plan to raise income tax on.ft.com/4nRg5px
UK government bonds sink after Reeves ditches plan to raise income tax
Dramatic U-turn ahead of Budget sparks sell-off in gilt market
on.ft.com
November 14, 2025 at 8:58 AM
I dunno, maybe it's difficult being Chancellor. Almost impossible.
OH FCK OFF
November 10, 2025 at 10:27 AM
OH FCK OFF
We’re at that point of the game when the opposition are all over us and David Moyes is going to wait another 15 minutes to do something about it
November 8, 2025 at 4:30 PM
We’re at that point of the game when the opposition are all over us and David Moyes is going to wait another 15 minutes to do something about it
Reposted by Gareth Cartman
This is genius. Someone find me some red paint. I am dressing up for Halloween as a bus lane.
October 24, 2025 at 12:45 AM
This is genius. Someone find me some red paint. I am dressing up for Halloween as a bus lane.
Our problem is not immigrants.
It's politicians.
It's politicians.
Draft Tory legislation on removing indefinite leave to remain is insane.
Would chuck out those not earning over £38K - including many pensioners!
+ social protections seems to include child benefit, so load of people with (British!) kids!
They'd remove my sis & mum who've been here 50 years.
Would chuck out those not earning over £38K - including many pensioners!
+ social protections seems to include child benefit, so load of people with (British!) kids!
They'd remove my sis & mum who've been here 50 years.
October 23, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Our problem is not immigrants.
It's politicians.
It's politicians.
I’m no theologian, but I’m not sure God is the one that gets saved
Eric Trump: "We're saving Christianity. We've saving God. We've saving the family unit. We're saving this nation. I mean, DEI is out of the window, Benny. You no longer have Colin Kaepernick kneeling for the national anthem. You no longer have Budweiser going woke as hell. All of this is dead."
October 17, 2025 at 5:13 PM
I’m no theologian, but I’m not sure God is the one that gets saved