J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
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infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
@infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
120 followers 78 following 1.1K posts
Self-Published Writer. 100% Human and certainly not a potentially infinite number of literate squirrels in a human suit.

Information on him and his book(s) can be found at https://www.infinitesquirrels.com
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infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
My contribution to Thanksgiving dinner. It was delicious.
Pecan pie
November 27, 2025 at 11:09 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Happy Thanksgiving to anyone choosing to celebrate (& no guff to anyone who doesn't for any and all reasons.)

Admission: when I finally got to write the Harvest Festival meal scenes, I may have been projecting my own perfect spread to greet me in the afterlife.

#writersky #booksky #Indieauthor
Text: The harvest festival meal was always a sight to behold. An absurdly long row of tables filled with every epicurean delight that Kelta Lior could offer, along with many others from beyond our borders. We joined the line with our neighbors and started the process of constructing the perfect harvest festival meal. It was often too easy to become paralyzed by the sheer number of choices available to indulge in. At the meat carving stations alone there was roasted pheasant, grouse, duck, goose, and turkey, all with browned and crispy skin. There were lamb chops drenched in garlic and butter, fat beef ribs that had been cooked in beer, and roasted suckling pig. If none of those options tempted you, there was still wild rabbit stew, chicken pies, venison sausages, and grilled skewers of goat and mutton. If one wasn’t careful, they could fill a plate too quickly and find themselves regretting not leaving room for something else later down the line that looked equally appetizing. Indeed, some villagers had turned creating a plate for themselves into an artistic display of culinary balancing. By the time I reached the end of the serving line, I was very satisfied with my selections. There was a generous portion of dark, slightly greasy roasted duck meat along with a lamb chop. On top of that was a thick slice of sourdough bread slathered in butter and honey. In regard to the actual harvest, I took a sweet potato that had been roasted on the coals of the fire pits, a copious pile of string beans with bacon, and an ear of roasted yellow sweet corn, which while much starchier and slightly less sweet than the corn we ate at midsummer, was still delicious when coated in butter and salt. Probably the most difficult decision of the day came as I passed by the dessert table. From amongst the unfathomable number of cookies, cakes and pastries, I finally settled on a slice of buttermilk pie, which smelled wonderfully strongly of nutmeg and cinnamon. Text: The harvest festival meal was always a sight to behold. An absurdly long row of tables filled with every epicurean delight that Kelta Lior could offer, along with many others from beyond our borders. We joined the line with our neighbors and started the process of constructing the perfect harvest festival meal. It was often too easy to become paralyzed by the sheer number of choices available to indulge in. At the meat carving stations alone there was roasted pheasant, grouse, duck, goose, and turkey, all with browned and crispy skin. There were lamb chops drenched in garlic and butter, fat beef ribs that had been cooked in beer, and roasted suckling pig. If none of those options tempted you, there was still wild rabbit stew, chicken pies, venison sausages, and grilled skewers of goat and mutton. If one wasn’t careful, they could fill a plate too quickly and find themselves regretting not leaving room for something else later down the line that looked equally appetizing. Indeed, some villagers had turned creating a plate for themselves into an artistic display of culinary balancing. By the time I reached the end of the serving line, I was very satisfied with my selections. There was a generous portion of dark, slightly greasy roasted duck meat along with a lamb chop. On top of that was a thick slice of sourdough bread slathered in butter and honey. In regard to the actual harvest, I took a sweet potato that had been roasted on the coals of the fire pits, a copious pile of string beans with bacon, and an ear of roasted yellow sweet corn, which while much starchier and slightly less sweet than the corn we ate at midsummer, was still delicious when coated in butter and salt. Probably the most difficult decision of the day came as I passed by the dessert table. From amongst the unfathomable number of cookies, cakes and pastries, I finally settled on a slice of buttermilk pie, which smelled wonderfully strongly of nutmeg and cinnamon.
November 27, 2025 at 5:02 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
I’m excited to announce that Tales of a Stranger Sister will be promoted on @Smashwords as part of their End of Year Sale 2025 starting on December 8! Be sure to follow me for more updates and links to the promotion for my book and many more! #EoYSale25 #Smashwords
Promo ad for Smashwords 2025 End of the Year Sale. Dec 8th - Jan 1st. Ebooks discounted from 25% to 100% off. Smashwords.com/sale
November 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
🎶Billy Ray was the preacher's son
And when his daddy would visit he'd come along
When they gathered 'round and started talkin'
That's when Billy would take me walkin'
Out through the back yard we'd go walkin'
Then he'd look into my eyes
Lord knows, to my surprise🎶
Meme image of the Pope singing
November 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Me addressing audience: So you see, Silent Hill isn't actually a town on Earth, but rather a manifestation of Hell and anyone there is only there in order to suffer.

Voice in Audience: What's your proof of this?

Me: Allow me to present exhibit A.
James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2 examining a sign in a prison cafeteria that has the menu as "Grits with Lard, Boiled Meat Loaf, Beans, Bread & Coffee."
November 16, 2025 at 7:31 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Do you WANT Clone-Hitler? Because I've read enough comics to know this is how you get Clone-Hitler.
Pic of evil, genocidal dipshit with headline reading "Researchers say have verified and sequenced Hitler's DNA. A new documentary reveals the findings."
November 14, 2025 at 1:45 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Convincing you to read my novel by the first sentence! Share yours too, if you want!
Text: Prologue: I love stories.
November 11, 2025 at 5:37 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Okay, so they did a TMNT X Godzilla crossover. Okay, fine. Cool.

The full set is only 3 figures. So, Fuck Donatello, apparently.

How in the fuck did they not think to cross one with GAMERA?!
TMNT x Godzilla figures in original packages
November 7, 2025 at 9:51 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
This feels more apt that usual today...
The King of Space from Katamari Damacy saying "My, Earth is really full of things "
November 7, 2025 at 11:43 AM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Pens/Caps games are many things. Boring is never one of them.

Still, I'll take a win any night, and twice against the Caps.
November 7, 2025 at 3:24 AM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
A summary of that second period.
November 7, 2025 at 2:22 AM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
These fuzzballs be our pride & joy and only occasionally the bane of our very existences*

* - not really. They are sweethearts.
October 30, 2025 at 12:07 AM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
I love this idea and will totes buy Manga/prints. However, if this illustration doesn't spur at least a dozen BTTF BL doujinshi, I'll have serious questions for Japan.

ICYW, Cowardly Top X Power Bottom
Back to the Future illustration by Manga artist Ryo Fukiwara, featuring Marty confronting Biff
October 21, 2025 at 2:14 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
October 20, 2025 at 11:55 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Uno Classic
October 17, 2025 at 8:40 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
October 15, 2025 at 7:32 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Simpsons did it!
Swanson's Angry Man Dinner ad from the Simpsons
October 15, 2025 at 11:06 AM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Happy Enrico Fermi Day!
Italian-American physicist Enrico Fermi
October 13, 2025 at 3:17 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Today is the final day of the Cozy The Day Away Sale & your opportunity to pick up Tales of a Stranger Sister for only .99¢!

cozyfantasysale.promisepress.org/

Books2read.com/stranger-sister

#booksky #cozythedayaway #indiefantasy #cozyfantasy #fantasybooks #Indieauthor #ebooks
October 12, 2025 at 2:16 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Just a quick FYI that Tales of a Stranger Sister is only .99¢ until Monday evening as part of Cozy the Day Away! Grab your next fall read today!

cozyfantasysale.promisepress.org/tales-of-a-stranger-sister/

#booksky #cozythedayaway #indiefantasy #cozyfantasy #fantasybooks #Indieauthor #ebooks
Banner ad for Cozy The Day Away featuring the Novel "Tales of a Stranger Sister" Text: A Small-scale, slice-of-life fantasy novel about Siblings, Stories and second chances. For fans of: - Isekai & portal fantasy stories, but who don't like gratuitous power fantasies. - The films of Studio Ghibli, including those tackling sadder/more difficult subject matter. What's inside: - family - friendships - festivals - fables - food! (like, a lot) - felines! (well, just the one, but she's adorable!) "thoughtful and authentic" - Goodread review "A good mix of light-heartedness and more heavy themes." - Goodreads review
October 11, 2025 at 7:01 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
New Post! It's time for the Cozy the Day Away Sale!

www.infinitesquirrels.com/2025/10/11/c...

The Sale itself:

cozyfantasysale.promisepress.org

#Books #booksky #cozythedayaway #cozybooks
Kiki, a young girl in a black dress and wearing a red bow, and an older woman drinking tea from "KIki's Delivery Service"
October 11, 2025 at 1:54 AM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
The Pens are 2-0? Whoa, careful there boys with all the winning. People might start getting used to it.
October 10, 2025 at 2:28 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Tales of a Stranger Sister is going to be part of the October Cozy the Day Away Sale at cozyfantasysale.promisepress.org for only .99¢ from October 10th through October 13th (The official sale is Oct 11-12, but I'm offering the discount from Friday until Monday)

books2read.com/stranger-sister
Cozy the Day Away logo featuring a Axolotl sitting in a comfy chair amongst several stacks of books while reading a book Sale webpage is https://cozyfantasysale.promisepress.org/
October 9, 2025 at 11:58 PM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
The Pens won their season opener and looked actually competent while doing it. Oh no. Is this that "Hope" thing I've been told about?

Anyway, here's a throwback to my Twitter days when I posted gifs after each @pittsburghpenguins.bsky.social win.
October 8, 2025 at 10:48 AM
infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Last season I needed "Anne Shirley" because my brain needed to escape to a simpler, kinder world.

This season, I very much need "May I ask for One Final Thing?" because my soul needs to watch this woman beat the shit out of rich assholes and oligarchs for no better reason than "She wanna."
Scarlet, The Queen of Beatings from "May I ask for one final thing?" preparing to embark on a holy quest to find ass and then beat it.
October 7, 2025 at 11:38 PM