J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
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infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
@infinitesquirrels.bsky.social
Self-Published Writer. 100% Human and certainly not a potentially infinite number of literate squirrels in a human suit.

Information on him and his book(s) can be found at https://www.infinitesquirrels.com
Pinned
Out now!

Tales of a Stranger Sister

A Small-Scale, Slice-of-Life Isekai Fantasy novel about Siblings, Stories, & Second Chances by J. Robert Matthewson

Available as an e-book & paperback!

books2read.com/stranger-sister

[📚🪐] [📚💙] #booksky #fantasybooks #indiefantasy #Kindle #ebooks #Indieauthor
“You will be visited by three spirits”
November 28, 2025 at 2:42 AM
My contribution to Thanksgiving dinner. It was delicious.
November 27, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to anyone choosing to celebrate (& no guff to anyone who doesn't for any and all reasons.)

Admission: when I finally got to write the Harvest Festival meal scenes, I may have been projecting my own perfect spread to greet me in the afterlife.

#writersky #booksky #Indieauthor
November 27, 2025 at 5:02 PM
I'm fully in favor of Pies-giving.
WHAT IF

THERE WAS *ONLY* PIE

A DAY OF PIE

BREAKFAST PIE

SAVORY PIE

SWEET PIE

SOME SORT OF ALCOHOLIC DRINKABLE PIE

PIESGIVING WE WOULD CALL IT AND THE WORLD WOULD THANK US IN PRAYER AND SONG AND IDEALLY PIE
WELCOME TO THE DAY OF MANY CALORIES

YOU SHALL CONSUME

YOU SHALL INGEST

YOU SHALL HEAVE YOUR SWOLLEN BODY ONTO THE COUCH MOANING AS YOU DO SO

BUT WAIT

THERE'S STILL PIE
November 27, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
November 27, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
Hey, props to writers who got literally anything done this year.
November 26, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Got my first scam email saying that my "upcoming" book (the one that's already out & I've been beating people over the head with for 8 months now) would be perfect for their December book club profile.

Then proceeded to tell me why by rereading my own blurb back to me.
a woman in a pink sweater is sitting at a table with a stack of books .
ALT: a woman in a pink sweater is sitting at a table with a stack of books .
media.tenor.com
November 27, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
Cosmic Squirrel ✨
November 26, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
almost every novelist you read who's not from the airport fiction or bestseller sections is working a full on day job, including multi-award winners and absolute legends, or they have a spouse or trust that supports them. virtually across the board. just normalize in your mind that's how it works.
I know we know this, but authors need to get better at talking about how they actually make their money. Stop pretending it's from the books.
November 25, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
November 25, 2025 at 3:53 PM
You entered a dance contest!

Pick your partner.
November 24, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ, Doc, you disintegrated Charlie Brown!!
I like you, Charlie Brown. That is why I will kill you last.
I’m not the guy you kill, Charlie Brown. I’m the guy you buy!
November 24, 2025 at 12:07 PM
New Post! In which I share what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving, and talk about a Santa with Muscles who isn't a dead racist.

www.infinitesquirrels.com/2025/11/24/l...

#writersky #indieauthor
Let the 6 weeks of not giving a f*** about my diet commence! – Infinite Squirrels with Infinite Keyboards
www.infinitesquirrels.com
November 24, 2025 at 1:19 AM
I’m excited to announce that Tales of a Stranger Sister will be promoted on @Smashwords as part of their End of Year Sale 2025 starting on December 8! Be sure to follow me for more updates and links to the promotion for my book and many more! #EoYSale25 #Smashwords
November 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
🎶Billy Ray was the preacher's son
And when his daddy would visit he'd come along
When they gathered 'round and started talkin'
That's when Billy would take me walkin'
Out through the back yard we'd go walkin'
Then he'd look into my eyes
Lord knows, to my surprise🎶
November 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
If you're buying gifts for the holidays, maybe consider supporting artists, writers, creators. Gift someone a Patreon, commission an art piece, buy a book, purchase handmade jewelry, etc. Your support means everything.
November 22, 2025 at 8:39 PM
"Louder, Piggie."
November 19, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
November 19, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
Great fucking news everyone at last, raccoons are on track to become even more plush-like, they too yearn for domestication

www.scientificamerican.com/article/racc...
City Raccoons Are Evolving to Look More Like Pets
City-dwelling raccoons seem to be evolving a shorter snout—a telltale feature of our pets and other domesticated animals
www.scientificamerican.com
November 19, 2025 at 7:32 AM
"Weird" Al Yankovic just announced tour dates in 2026. He's playing our backyard in August & twice within 2-3 hour's drive this summer and fall.

I finally knocked that bucket list item during the Mandatory Fun tour & saw him again during his Symphonic tour. He's an amazing showman. A true must see.
a man with long curly hair is holding an accordion and smiling
ALT: a man with long curly hair is holding an accordion and smiling
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 1:21 AM
There are moments when writing that you truly feel alive and grateful that you get to use the limited time you have on this rock toward the act of creation.

Creating a Raccoon-themed C-tier superhero and calling him "The Thrash Panda" is one of those moments.
two animals are standing in the snow with the words come at me bro above them
ALT: two animals are standing in the snow with the words come at me bro above them
media.tenor.com
November 18, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I'd like to apologize to both Genma Saotome & Gendo Ikari for saying they were in a 2-man race for "worst father in anime."

I completely forgot that Shou Tucker exists, who is the triple-threat of worst father, husband, AND pet owner in possibly all of fiction.
a black and white drawing of a man with glasses
ALT: a black and white drawing of a man with glasses
media.tenor.com
November 17, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
November 17, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Reposted by J. Robert Matthewson ♾️🐿️♾️💻
I feel like I’d login to this app more often than once every like two or three days if there was even 15% more shitposting. Hell I’d settle for 10%. #bringbackshitposting
November 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Me addressing audience: So you see, Silent Hill isn't actually a town on Earth, but rather a manifestation of Hell and anyone there is only there in order to suffer.

Voice in Audience: What's your proof of this?

Me: Allow me to present exhibit A.
November 16, 2025 at 7:31 PM