BRAINERD, MN—Admitting that it was finally time to grow up and start making healthy life choices, local man Russell McGrath told reporters Monday that he was cutting back from drinking six normal beers a day and would now just drink three huge ones. “While it may have been fine back in my 20s, drinking a […]

LOUISVILLE, KY—Expressing a mix of frustration and stunned disbelief at the woman’s lack of enthusiasm, local man Ron Broder told reporters Wednesday that the escort whose services he had solicited for the evening fell asleep during Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope.  The 40-year-old logistics coordinator confirmed he had paid the sex worker Misty, as […]