@jbkonieczny.bsky.social
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I'm sure you've heard this before and I don't want to sound like a scratched record but if you're someplace that doesn't usually get storms and cold like this one, or you've only recently moved to someplace that does, treat this fucker with the respect you would give a kaiju.
January 23, 2026 at 1:25 PM
I'm sure you've heard this before and I don't want to sound like a scratched record but if you're someplace that doesn't usually get storms and cold like this one, or you've only recently moved to someplace that does, treat this fucker with the respect you would give a kaiju.
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![Comic. [Banner: Mathematical Society: 2025 Meeting.] PERSON 1 with bun: Any other new developments from the year to cover before we wrap? PERSON 2: Oh, the teens picked a new funny number. PERSON 3 with short hair: Aww, I’m glad to hear they’re still doing that. PERSON 4 with ponytail: I’ll add it to the list. [List: 23 (skidoo!; 42; 69; 420; 1,337; 58,008; [circled]: 67]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreig43e2u4zzpifhq6fbf2iwplmva2lt5rokfg5uws5dysbe55up6wa@jpeg)
December 26, 2025 at 10:44 PM
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Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
Fellowship
theonion.com
December 3, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
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Why do we call it a 'turkey'?
November 24, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Why do we call it a 'turkey'?
Look at you! You're gorgeous! #GoodOmens
November 21, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Look at you! You're gorgeous! #GoodOmens
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It's the Fesshole/Vagina Museum crossover event you've all been waiting for. Tons of you tagged us into this across all of our socials, asking for a fact-check. The consensus of the reply guys is that it Didn't Happen. However, this is in fact very possible. Here's why...
October 28, 2025 at 10:48 AM
It's the Fesshole/Vagina Museum crossover event you've all been waiting for. Tons of you tagged us into this across all of our socials, asking for a fact-check. The consensus of the reply guys is that it Didn't Happen. However, this is in fact very possible. Here's why...
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In France, we pride ourselves on enjoying life’s simple pleasures: food, drink, and the occasional grand larceny. To rush through these things would not just disrupt our leisurely schedule; it would be a sin. One must savor the moment, not run from robbery to robbery like a buffoon.
I, a French Jewel Thief, Refuse to Rob the Louvre Before Mid-Morning
“Thieves in balaclavas broke into Paris’ Louvre museum on Sunday morning, using a crane to smash an upstairs window, then stealing priceless object...
buff.ly
October 23, 2025 at 1:20 AM
In France, we pride ourselves on enjoying life’s simple pleasures: food, drink, and the occasional grand larceny. To rush through these things would not just disrupt our leisurely schedule; it would be a sin. One must savor the moment, not run from robbery to robbery like a buffoon.
Philadelphia's Walnut Street Theatre announced their 2025-26 Playwriting Competition for Young Audience Works!
walnutstreettheatre.org/about/litera...
walnutstreettheatre.org/about/litera...
Opportunities: Literary -- Walnut Street Theatre -- Philadelphia, PA -- Official Website
walnutstreettheatre.org
October 16, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Philadelphia's Walnut Street Theatre announced their 2025-26 Playwriting Competition for Young Audience Works!
walnutstreettheatre.org/about/litera...
walnutstreettheatre.org/about/litera...
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1/3 20 years ago today, in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I wrote a piece called "Being Poor," to answer, in a way that I hoped would stick, why so many people stayed in New Orleans to face the storm. It was and remains one of the best things I've ever written.
whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/b...
whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/b...
Being Poor
Visit the post for more.
whatever.scalzi.com
September 3, 2025 at 2:56 PM
1/3 20 years ago today, in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I wrote a piece called "Being Poor," to answer, in a way that I hoped would stick, why so many people stayed in New Orleans to face the storm. It was and remains one of the best things I've ever written.
whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/b...
whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/b...
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![Comic. [Two people on shore looking at body of water] PERSON 1: Hey, where’s that big island we were looking at this morning? PERSON 2 with short hair: Oh, it’s underwater. The ocean’s depth here goes up and down by like ten feet every day. PERSON 1: What? PERSON 2: It’s because the planet has a big moon orbiting near the surface. It causes weird gravity effects. PERSON 1: *What???* [caption] People here are used to them, but tides are one of the weirdest and most sci-fi elements of life on Earth.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreidj2tdqhkgoamiqf5reqt7kvbpt26x3cgjxsp4rtwwb46qumcltdq@jpeg)
September 2, 2025 at 8:00 PM
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Theatre fans will be thrilled to know that Michael Sheen’s critically acclaimed performance in Nye, will be available to stream via National Theatre at Home.
'Nye' starring Michael Sheen to return to National Theatre streaming service
Theatre fans will be thrilled to know that Michael Sheen’s critically acclaimed performance in The National Theatre’s NHS drama, Nye, will be available to stream this month via National Theatre at Hom...
nation.cymru
September 1, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Theatre fans will be thrilled to know that Michael Sheen’s critically acclaimed performance in Nye, will be available to stream via National Theatre at Home.
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Em dash on ChatGPT allegations
YouTube video by Elle Cordova
youtube.com
September 1, 2025 at 8:43 PM
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She doesn’t need a hero, she is the hero we need. 🤩
August 17, 2025 at 4:41 PM
She doesn’t need a hero, she is the hero we need. 🤩
Happy two years since season 2 of Good Omens!
July 29, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Happy two years since season 2 of Good Omens!
Eeee!!!
July 11, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Eeee!!!
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Try not to panic is the most important thing (easier said than done, I know) & then there are two options-just let it take you to where it stops (it's not usually super far out) & then swim across & back to shore or, if you can, swim across the rip (see diagram below!)-you'll feel when you're out.
June 15, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Try not to panic is the most important thing (easier said than done, I know) & then there are two options-just let it take you to where it stops (it's not usually super far out) & then swim across & back to shore or, if you can, swim across the rip (see diagram below!)-you'll feel when you're out.
Murderbot was so good! But I didn't realize only two episodes were dropping today and now I need something to do with myself until next week. Maybe it's time to reread All Systems Red
May 17, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Murderbot was so good! But I didn't realize only two episodes were dropping today and now I need something to do with myself until next week. Maybe it's time to reread All Systems Red
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Freelance comrades! Scarleteen is looking for writers to cover a range of topics: If you're a person versed in sexuality and relationships and advocating with young people, I'd be interested in working with you: sesmith at scarleteen dot com. More info below, and on our Write for us page.
Write for us!
Creating and publishing some of the best content for young people about sex, sexuality, relationships and identities there is is what we do here. Diversity of voices and perspectives is also important...
www.scarleteen.com
April 16, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Freelance comrades! Scarleteen is looking for writers to cover a range of topics: If you're a person versed in sexuality and relationships and advocating with young people, I'd be interested in working with you: sesmith at scarleteen dot com. More info below, and on our Write for us page.
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Everyone raised on the AP Style Guide is having a moment with this one, thank you @ellecordova.bsky.social
April 7, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Everyone raised on the AP Style Guide is having a moment with this one, thank you @ellecordova.bsky.social
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GREAT news everyone!
The Onion is hiring! For a bunch of new positions.
Sports Editor (yes, we're bringing it back): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Entertainment Editor (going harder here too): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
And a Staff Writer (!): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Apply or die!
The Onion is hiring! For a bunch of new positions.
Sports Editor (yes, we're bringing it back): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Entertainment Editor (going harder here too): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
And a Staff Writer (!): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Apply or die!
Careers at The Onion
jobs.gusto.com
March 25, 2025 at 9:49 PM
GREAT news everyone!
The Onion is hiring! For a bunch of new positions.
Sports Editor (yes, we're bringing it back): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Entertainment Editor (going harder here too): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
And a Staff Writer (!): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Apply or die!
The Onion is hiring! For a bunch of new positions.
Sports Editor (yes, we're bringing it back): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Entertainment Editor (going harder here too): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
And a Staff Writer (!): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...
Apply or die!
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The Onion summer writing fellowship is seeking applicants! It's six months, good salary and benefits.
This year's applicants do NOT have to complete the Eating Challenge, as it turns out this does not adhere to Illinois labor law. We apologize to those who have died in the past.
This year's applicants do NOT have to complete the Eating Challenge, as it turns out this does not adhere to Illinois labor law. We apologize to those who have died in the past.
Writing Fellowship, Summer 2025 at The Onion
jobs.gusto.com
March 17, 2025 at 6:12 PM
The Onion summer writing fellowship is seeking applicants! It's six months, good salary and benefits.
This year's applicants do NOT have to complete the Eating Challenge, as it turns out this does not adhere to Illinois labor law. We apologize to those who have died in the past.
This year's applicants do NOT have to complete the Eating Challenge, as it turns out this does not adhere to Illinois labor law. We apologize to those who have died in the past.
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We can upload 3 minute videos now.
YOU KNOW THE RULE
YOU KNOW THE RULE
March 10, 2025 at 7:52 PM
We can upload 3 minute videos now.
YOU KNOW THE RULE
YOU KNOW THE RULE