jeremy kaplowitz
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jeremykaplowitz.com
jeremy kaplowitz
@jeremykaplowitz.com
nyc "comedian"

plz follow @quorators.bsky.social ty
it reads like a "how ya doin" 30 rock meme
January 13, 2026 at 7:34 AM
it is deadly serious
January 13, 2026 at 2:27 AM
isn't** kidnapping, obviously
January 13, 2026 at 1:10 AM
ICE is only 20 years old and nearly half of Americans support abolishing it. if politicians campaign on eliminating ICE, that number will only go up. dare to imagine a world where the government kidnapping and killing its own people bsky.app/profile/poll...
YouGov poll - In the future, would you support or oppose...

Eliminating ICE as a federal agency?
Support 42%
Oppose 45%

Reducing ICE’s size and funding
Support 48%
Oppose 37%

d3nkl3psvxxpe9.cloudfront.net/documents/IC...
January 13, 2026 at 1:07 AM
we don't want moderates to have to strain to imagine a world without the existence of ICE (any time before 2003)
January 13, 2026 at 1:04 AM
i have no idea what you're trying to argue tbh
January 13, 2026 at 1:03 AM
i don't think Obama is a good example of a guy who ran a moderate campaign but was secretly more progressive
January 13, 2026 at 1:01 AM
well surely Gavin Newsom will be the first president who lies for GOOD reasons!
January 13, 2026 at 12:53 AM
there is simply no way some moderate democrat will run on "reforming ICE" with secret plans to abolish it
January 13, 2026 at 12:13 AM
i would never record myself talking
January 12, 2026 at 11:18 PM
how is that possible
January 11, 2026 at 7:47 AM
happy birthday! i think by the time you're in your early 100s, scientists will be coming up with new ways to get you into the 200s easily
January 10, 2026 at 9:15 PM
alex is legit a poet
January 9, 2026 at 9:42 PM