Johnny Nice Painter ⬛🖌️
@johnnynicepainter.bsky.social
Black. Black. Black! Like the clouds of death that follow me into the Forest of Doom! And hide in the wardrobe of darkness! Black!
Pinned
Johnny Nice Painter - I´m A Fly, Trapped In A Bottle Of Shadows!
YouTube video by Óli
youtu.be
I think, perhaps, it is about time I explained myself to our American friends youtu.be/palevTnLiec?...
So to someone buying the lastest Taylor Swift album today, this album is as old to them as the end of World War II was to me and you when we bought this.
Or to put it another way, OH FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OFF.
Or to put it another way, OH FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OFF.
"Psychocandy", the debut album from #TheJesusAndMaryChain is forty years old today!
November 18, 2025 at 8:48 PM
So to someone buying the lastest Taylor Swift album today, this album is as old to them as the end of World War II was to me and you when we bought this.
Or to put it another way, OH FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OFF.
Or to put it another way, OH FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OFF.
Reposted by Johnny Nice Painter ⬛🖌️
My cartoon for Tuesday's metro
November 17, 2025 at 7:24 PM
My cartoon for Tuesday's metro
Reposted by Johnny Nice Painter ⬛🖌️
If you love Jane Austen, you’ll hugely enjoy Rachel Parris’s new novel Introducing Mr Collins — few people know Austen, or comedy, better than Rachel (a founding member of the hilarious Austentatious improv troupe)
See what people are saying about Introducing Mrs Collins… and then order it!! Signed and dedicated, if you like! Perfect Christmas present for the book-lover in your life! backstory.london/products/int...
November 17, 2025 at 4:39 PM
If you love Jane Austen, you’ll hugely enjoy Rachel Parris’s new novel Introducing Mr Collins — few people know Austen, or comedy, better than Rachel (a founding member of the hilarious Austentatious improv troupe)
I was a bit sarcastic about BBC Radio 3 Unwind the other day. But you know what? It's rather marvellous. Not only is it genuinely healing my fractured brain, but I'm discovering all kinds of music and composers. For example:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florenc...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florenc...
Florence Price - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
November 16, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I was a bit sarcastic about BBC Radio 3 Unwind the other day. But you know what? It's rather marvellous. Not only is it genuinely healing my fractured brain, but I'm discovering all kinds of music and composers. For example:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florenc...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florenc...
What's wrong with that? Looks lovely. Looks like a lovely lovely frappé or something. Lovely. Lovely lovely lovely.
November 16, 2025 at 6:22 PM
What's wrong with that? Looks lovely. Looks like a lovely lovely frappé or something. Lovely. Lovely lovely lovely.
When is a pigeon's birthday? Is it when its mother lays its egg, or when it breaks out of its egg?
These are the important issues I think about when my bladder wakes me up at zero dark thirty.
These are the important issues I think about when my bladder wakes me up at zero dark thirty.
November 16, 2025 at 5:24 AM
When is a pigeon's birthday? Is it when its mother lays its egg, or when it breaks out of its egg?
These are the important issues I think about when my bladder wakes me up at zero dark thirty.
These are the important issues I think about when my bladder wakes me up at zero dark thirty.
Once he's been prosecuted for all of his other crimes, could we perhaps find a tiny sliver of time for holding him to account for this fucking shirt and tie?
November 14, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Once he's been prosecuted for all of his other crimes, could we perhaps find a tiny sliver of time for holding him to account for this fucking shirt and tie?
You know when you see a celebrity in the headlines and you think, fuck me, I would have sworn up and down that they were fucking dead? Well that, except this:
November 14, 2025 at 7:21 PM
You know when you see a celebrity in the headlines and you think, fuck me, I would have sworn up and down that they were fucking dead? Well that, except this:
Next time someone cold-calls me and immediately barks "are you the homeowner" with no introduction I'm going to say:
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
November 14, 2025 at 9:16 AM
Next time someone cold-calls me and immediately barks "are you the homeowner" with no introduction I'm going to say:
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
My phrase is: "listen to me or I will fucking cut you"
What's yours?
What's yours?
November 14, 2025 at 9:01 AM
My phrase is: "listen to me or I will fucking cut you"
What's yours?
What's yours?
Everything is awful and I have had too much to drink. But thne I found this picture of my little dog. She left me this year but she used to look at me like this, and I'll always have that.
November 13, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Everything is awful and I have had too much to drink. But thne I found this picture of my little dog. She left me this year but she used to look at me like this, and I'll always have that.
My god. Just burn it all.
"There's a difference between a 15-year-old and a five-year-old." – Megyn Kelly
😳
😳
November 13, 2025 at 8:31 PM
My god. Just burn it all.
The bible is not a reference document for governing a modern industrialised 21st century society.
Except in America, apparently.
Except in America, apparently.
Trump: The bible tells us that one of the measures of any society is how it cares for vulnerable children and orphans—so important and so big in the bible.
November 13, 2025 at 8:24 PM
The bible is not a reference document for governing a modern industrialised 21st century society.
Except in America, apparently.
Except in America, apparently.
I've only ever heard chemtrail believers online, and was convinced it was a bunch of trolls, or people being ironic, like the "birds aren't real" guy.
Was equally disappointed and surprised then to hear one of the guys working at the dump pointing out "chemtrails" to a seemingly credulous customer.
Was equally disappointed and surprised then to hear one of the guys working at the dump pointing out "chemtrails" to a seemingly credulous customer.
a man with a beard is wearing a fur coat and a scarf around his neck
ALT: a man with a beard is wearing a fur coat and a scarf around his neck
media.tenor.com
November 13, 2025 at 4:49 PM
I've only ever heard chemtrail believers online, and was convinced it was a bunch of trolls, or people being ironic, like the "birds aren't real" guy.
Was equally disappointed and surprised then to hear one of the guys working at the dump pointing out "chemtrails" to a seemingly credulous customer.
Was equally disappointed and surprised then to hear one of the guys working at the dump pointing out "chemtrails" to a seemingly credulous customer.
Haven't watched TV for about 4 weeks now (apart from NFL matches which don't count because I don't think they're actually real). Been listening to Radio 3 Unwind instead. It's lovely. It's a bit like I imagine what it's like being dead.
November 12, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Haven't watched TV for about 4 weeks now (apart from NFL matches which don't count because I don't think they're actually real). Been listening to Radio 3 Unwind instead. It's lovely. It's a bit like I imagine what it's like being dead.
Ah, Britain. The land of Shakespeare, Milton, Wordsworth, Blake, Shelly, Donne, Byron, Chaucer, some bloke whacking himself over the head with a tray whilst singing "Mule Train" youtu.be/o3WENICRfoM
BOB THE TRAY-MULE TRAIN
YouTube video by Jack G
youtu.be
November 11, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Ah, Britain. The land of Shakespeare, Milton, Wordsworth, Blake, Shelly, Donne, Byron, Chaucer, some bloke whacking himself over the head with a tray whilst singing "Mule Train" youtu.be/o3WENICRfoM
Will never not be amused by recipes that purport to be "a classic that can be whipped up with simple store-cupboard ingredients" then proceed to list things like fresh guava, nduja sausage, organic ground kashmiri chiilies and tinned quails' ears.
Not in my fucking cupboard.
Not in my fucking cupboard.
November 11, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Will never not be amused by recipes that purport to be "a classic that can be whipped up with simple store-cupboard ingredients" then proceed to list things like fresh guava, nduja sausage, organic ground kashmiri chiilies and tinned quails' ears.
Not in my fucking cupboard.
Not in my fucking cupboard.
Reposted by Johnny Nice Painter ⬛🖌️
BUY SOMETHING!
Is it truly social media anymore? Or is it more like selling media? It invades everything.
It's obvious to wealthiest and most powerful people on the planet don't care for nature, climate, the earth or the universe.
So I painted the invasive nature of ads in nature.
Is it truly social media anymore? Or is it more like selling media? It invades everything.
It's obvious to wealthiest and most powerful people on the planet don't care for nature, climate, the earth or the universe.
So I painted the invasive nature of ads in nature.
November 8, 2025 at 8:14 PM
BUY SOMETHING!
Is it truly social media anymore? Or is it more like selling media? It invades everything.
It's obvious to wealthiest and most powerful people on the planet don't care for nature, climate, the earth or the universe.
So I painted the invasive nature of ads in nature.
Is it truly social media anymore? Or is it more like selling media? It invades everything.
It's obvious to wealthiest and most powerful people on the planet don't care for nature, climate, the earth or the universe.
So I painted the invasive nature of ads in nature.
I think I'm OK then I look through the photos on my phone then I'm not OK. I'm OK though. I'm OK.
November 8, 2025 at 7:47 PM
I think I'm OK then I look through the photos on my phone then I'm not OK. I'm OK though. I'm OK.
WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE KERNING!
November 8, 2025 at 6:19 PM
WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE KERNING!
Took a second 😆
November 8, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Took a second 😆
Well there's one good thing about insomnia; you get to spend 2 or 3 hours with The Clash and The Jam and The Specials and The Stranglers. Fuck me that was a time to be young though, wasn't it?
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS.
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS.
November 8, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Well there's one good thing about insomnia; you get to spend 2 or 3 hours with The Clash and The Jam and The Specials and The Stranglers. Fuck me that was a time to be young though, wasn't it?
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS.
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS.
What do you mean... "you've never seen this before"?
Are you stark staring mad? Get your eyeholes around this NOW you FOOL!
youtu.be/aHun58mz3vI?...
Are you stark staring mad? Get your eyeholes around this NOW you FOOL!
youtu.be/aHun58mz3vI?...
Charlie Brooker's How to Report the News - Newswipe - BBC
YouTube video by BBC
youtu.be
November 6, 2025 at 9:04 PM
What do you mean... "you've never seen this before"?
Are you stark staring mad? Get your eyeholes around this NOW you FOOL!
youtu.be/aHun58mz3vI?...
Are you stark staring mad? Get your eyeholes around this NOW you FOOL!
youtu.be/aHun58mz3vI?...
🎶(Where) where did you get that (blank) blank expression on your face?🎶
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really
November 6, 2025 at 8:44 PM
🎶(Where) where did you get that (blank) blank expression on your face?🎶
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really