people say to me all the time mr president mr president please, will you eat this lindbergh baby, and i say no you're not al- well i'm allowed i could eat the baby maybe later i'll eat the baby but- baby, what an interesting word, baby, you never hear about babies anymore, unless you're eating them

So cool that whenever someone asks the president, “did you eat the Lindbergh baby” he’s like, “no but I’d be allowed to, I have the right to, I might do it later”

Our first 100 tickets to our 7-Year Anniversary show is just $7!

Have you got your tickets yet to our big annual celebration!!

🎟️: NewTexasPro.Com/Events

Ohhhh

That makes so much more sense.

So you’ll do Herzog for 1.25x what it would cost to get Herzog? Or am I illiterate?

Either way I’m down.

I should go buy a wedge of parm

I did my mis en place for dinner tomorrow and now I want to teleport to making it already. No tonight. No work tomorrow. Just straight to dinner time.

they just slapped a surgeons general warning on RFK like he’s a pack of cigarettes

That’s my cousin! We’re all cousins!

My favorite thing about living in western MA is I’m so far away from sprawl and suburbia. Even the littler towns are very walkable plenty of amenities.

#WrestleSky #AEW #TitleTuesday 🤼‍♂️

"I have won, I have lost, I have committed arson, I have dressed as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man." - hangman page

Imagine needing an AI to socialize for you 😵‍💫

She’s got two already. How many more does she need?

You heard the champ.

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Baby got too big. Really big really fast. Not sure if we're doing something right or something wrong. This is a giant baby. They hardly ever wear shoes anyway.
- Ernest Hemingway

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. I don't know why I thought baby shoes would fit me, I'm a fully grown adult.
- Ernest Hemingway

Today is a day when arts degrees are worthless, but the product of those degrees is so valuable it would kill an entire industry if they were made to pay for it.

I feel like this photo of masked, armed men pepper spraying a pastor protecting his community is going to be a defining picture of this moment in America for a long, long time.

A STUN GUN?!

AND WAS THAT A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL?!?!?!?!?!!?

DARBY YOU SICK FUCK WHAT?!

#AEWDynamite

Holy shit

Bryce should never be a paramedic

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