KalansPhantom 🍐🏴☠️🔞 🪢
@kalansphantomff.bsky.social
Pfp by CitrusSyndicate. Banner by SailorsRuin A little insane, a little chaotic, the horny half of Hingeless and Horny. 3 Million words and counting of gay pirates on A03 https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalansPhantom/works
Ignore the mess. She suspects nothing. I am the Queen Of Hidden Goats, a game she has no idea we're playing.
February 9, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Ignore the mess. She suspects nothing. I am the Queen Of Hidden Goats, a game she has no idea we're playing.
We're setting up a game for Cards Against Humanity while I hide secret baby goats. Feel free to come join us! We'll be voice chatting and you'll all be accomplices. discord.gg/QJs82c2v
February 9, 2026 at 12:23 AM
We're setting up a game for Cards Against Humanity while I hide secret baby goats. Feel free to come join us! We'll be voice chatting and you'll all be accomplices. discord.gg/QJs82c2v
How do you make sure your secrets stay a secret overnight? You have an all night milk bar prepped. #secretgoats
February 8, 2026 at 11:44 PM
How do you make sure your secrets stay a secret overnight? You have an all night milk bar prepped. #secretgoats
Did you know you can potty train baby goats?
February 7, 2026 at 11:40 PM
Did you know you can potty train baby goats?
Psst guess who's working on Hard Disciplines finally?
February 7, 2026 at 8:23 PM
Psst guess who's working on Hard Disciplines finally?
🤫🤫🤫
No one tell my wife.
No one tell my wife.
February 7, 2026 at 7:11 PM
🤫🤫🤫
No one tell my wife.
No one tell my wife.
I'm being very mature about this.
February 7, 2026 at 12:39 AM
I'm being very mature about this.
Columbus in a nutshell. My news story this morning had this pop up and I'm like "Oh my god, is this really a problem?!"
On my way to work I literally saw where a car had drove into a building, so apparently that's my city. We drive into buildings to the point it's an epidemic.
On my way to work I literally saw where a car had drove into a building, so apparently that's my city. We drive into buildings to the point it's an epidemic.
February 5, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Columbus in a nutshell. My news story this morning had this pop up and I'm like "Oh my god, is this really a problem?!"
On my way to work I literally saw where a car had drove into a building, so apparently that's my city. We drive into buildings to the point it's an epidemic.
On my way to work I literally saw where a car had drove into a building, so apparently that's my city. We drive into buildings to the point it's an epidemic.
Just watching Cuthroat Kitchen while working on Acts and Lenore is FULLY engaged.
February 5, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Just watching Cuthroat Kitchen while working on Acts and Lenore is FULLY engaged.
Happy #WIPWednesday Have an Acts snippy in which we meet Doug. And Ed is TOTALLY FUCKING NORMAL, okay? Very normal about it.
February 5, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Happy #WIPWednesday Have an Acts snippy in which we meet Doug. And Ed is TOTALLY FUCKING NORMAL, okay? Very normal about it.
Ed swings his head up just in time to see Stede scrambling up from the rocks he's tripped over. His eyes find Ed with relief.
"Oh you stayed!" Dawn has nothing on the smile that crosses Stede's face. "I was afraid-" Fuck, he looks so distressed. "I didn't even give you a name!"
Fuck, Ed melts.
"Oh you stayed!" Dawn has nothing on the smile that crosses Stede's face. "I was afraid-" Fuck, he looks so distressed. "I didn't even give you a name!"
Fuck, Ed melts.
February 4, 2026 at 9:18 PM
Ed swings his head up just in time to see Stede scrambling up from the rocks he's tripped over. His eyes find Ed with relief.
"Oh you stayed!" Dawn has nothing on the smile that crosses Stede's face. "I was afraid-" Fuck, he looks so distressed. "I didn't even give you a name!"
Fuck, Ed melts.
"Oh you stayed!" Dawn has nothing on the smile that crosses Stede's face. "I was afraid-" Fuck, he looks so distressed. "I didn't even give you a name!"
Fuck, Ed melts.
Someone at the office made groundhog cookies for Groundhog's Day. This feels so Stede coded.
February 2, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Someone at the office made groundhog cookies for Groundhog's Day. This feels so Stede coded.
TAGS: Cursed Edward Teach, Oblivous Stede Bonnet, Canon-typical violence, David Jenkins Rule of Regency Period, Romance, Ed Is A Good Boy, Happy Ending, Possible Angst, Stede's Legs For Days, Down Bad Ed Teach
Lets see if I can just use my phone and thumbs.
Lets see if I can just use my phone and thumbs.
February 1, 2026 at 6:10 PM
TAGS: Cursed Edward Teach, Oblivous Stede Bonnet, Canon-typical violence, David Jenkins Rule of Regency Period, Romance, Ed Is A Good Boy, Happy Ending, Possible Angst, Stede's Legs For Days, Down Bad Ed Teach
Lets see if I can just use my phone and thumbs.
Lets see if I can just use my phone and thumbs.
Do you know what it looks like when you tip over a 5 lb box of dried larvae?
I do....
Thanks, cats
I do....
Thanks, cats
February 1, 2026 at 12:24 AM
Do you know what it looks like when you tip over a 5 lb box of dried larvae?
I do....
Thanks, cats
I do....
Thanks, cats
A person was hanging these on doors in my neighborhood. Talked with them a while and got them to send me their versions in other languages. Im going to mass print for them to hand out as well as working on more for Springfield Oh and our soon to be at risk Haitian population.
January 31, 2026 at 12:39 AM
A person was hanging these on doors in my neighborhood. Talked with them a while and got them to send me their versions in other languages. Im going to mass print for them to hand out as well as working on more for Springfield Oh and our soon to be at risk Haitian population.
Finally, we have another Ed POV as we get a glimpse of our favorite emotionally heathy alpha having some feelings of his own.
archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
January 30, 2026 at 3:14 AM
Finally, we have another Ed POV as we get a glimpse of our favorite emotionally heathy alpha having some feelings of his own.
archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
People going to the Chicago Show, there's a discord that's made channels to help crew connect. Share it around. The Indy meet-up was so much fun hopefully people can set up something similar! discord.gg/5C4QX4wf
January 28, 2026 at 10:27 PM
People going to the Chicago Show, there's a discord that's made channels to help crew connect. Share it around. The Indy meet-up was so much fun hopefully people can set up something similar! discord.gg/5C4QX4wf
ICE took two people from our condo complex this morning. Hating this timeline so much. 😢
January 28, 2026 at 5:43 PM
ICE took two people from our condo complex this morning. Hating this timeline so much. 😢
Snow Day pt 2!!
January 26, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Snow Day pt 2!!
We have visitors in the back yard
January 25, 2026 at 4:57 PM
We have visitors in the back yard
