Im cooking dinner using multiple burners and I just had to adjust the heat on a couple and I felt how a dj must feel when they adjust the lil knobs on their decks.

This is probably the best photo anyone has taken of me and I’m wearing my f*g shirt. 😵‍💫

When my dog is getting weighed I make sure to take off his leash, and I know he’d do the same for me

How does Liquid Dreams by O-Town only have about 15 million streams on Spotify? The song is a masterpiece!

I never, ever want google to show me searches I did in the past. The person who searched for those things is dead.

What a cliffhanger. Can’t wait for Nosferathree.

Me: check out this new instrument, you play it by waving your hands around!

My theremin: OOOOOoooo

not sure who needs to hear this, but just a reminder that the most popular mediums our news is communicated through (social media, tv, podcasts, even news publisher’s own apps) are by their very nature designed to be entertaining so that they can be engaging, so that they can make money

Spotify: March was your Francophile Cowgirl Crush Punk phase
Me: Uh huh that’s right
Spotify: In July you had a Surf Princess Girl Math Autoerotic-core moment
Me: I recall that, yes

The Kinsey scale should be replaced by Spotify Wrapped.

If a man has all male artists in his Wrapped, he’s straight. If he has all female artists, that boy’s a faggot.

And combinations of male/female are shades of bisexual.

One thing I look for in a social network is not to have the CEO shove his reactionary political views in my face every time I open the app. So I’m happy here.

My sweet little Phoebe learned a new trick!

I’ve felt this before, but I now feel more strongly than ever that I need to own a harmonica.

Social media before you have friends/followers is kind of a bummer! I hope my friends join me/find me here soon! 🙇🏼

Quote this with a picture of when you realized that your body was 🍵