RIP secretary breakfast beers. we hardly knew ye

hilariously on-brand that hegseth was too much of a bumbling drunk to even fuck up properly. couldnt get fired for losing a war or being humiliated on the battlefield, lost it bc he kept going onto tv and slurring out stuff like "pasgetti n beetmalls" lolol

currently batting 1000

ted cruz - after a lifetime of sheepish cowardice, you have the chance to be remembered as a great man - a man who saved the republic. you know what has to be done. your ancestors are whispering the answer into your ear. this is your birthright

you see this won't be one of those immiserating recessions like the one that caused GWB to leave office with everyone hating his guts. this will be one of those cool recessions you read about - the kind that makes everything better

probably, but more likely i'd ask for level 4 lol

*powdered, dammit

to their credit, they genuinely tried to talk me out of it and my friends had to like, back me up on the claim that I could handle it lol

rowdy rooster. they have spice levels 1-3 on menu but you can ask special for 4 or 5 (used to be on the menu but they took them off bc ppl were trying it and getting mad lol)

its the dry, powered heat that really gets you. stucks to your gums and your lips and burns like fucking sterno

indeed! level 5 was an *experience*

no disrespect bc everyone's tolerance is different but hattie b's "hottest" is nothing to me. when I say that this indian fried chicken sandwich was hotter than that, I mean in the way a ghost pepper is hotter than a bell pepper

I did but it was the first and only time I've ever eaten something hot enough that it made my shits hot too

been looking for a *really, really hot* chicken sandwich and finally found this indian fried chicken spot that has two extra off-menu heat levels. ordered the highest and immediately knew I was in trouble as every employee and guest in the place stopped what they were doing to watch me take a bite

elon musk is going to leave the trump admin very soon and then spend the rest of his life telling whiney little stories to podcasters and anyone else who will listen about how everyone in america was so unfair to him

theory continues to hold up

a theory I've been noodling on: all the antifa stuff from 2017-2020 was a black flag operation by some pro-trump group and now that trump has changed his approach to governance ("do whatever I want, don't care what anyone says") they don't need a foil anymore so antifa is nowhere to be found

sometimes when I'm watching seinfeld it seems like the plot jumps around from episode to episode (jerry's dating elaine, now he's not, etc), and I can't tell if they just decided to do have fun that season or if an episode was so unspeakably racist that it was sandblasted from the face of the earth

??

if elon really believes that all his projects are being undercut by the dastardly george soros, that's mostly just really embarrassing for elon imo. a 98 y/o man with 1/100th of your financial resources is lapping you? and you're telling ppl abt this, in public? embarrassing!

we just need stupider leftists. I'm dead serious. charismatic guys with the stamina to record 100 instagram reels a week in the front seat of their car saying stuff like "trump made summers too hot" and "the fries at wendy's taste better ever since they went woke"

when they conceived of the 2nd amendment, the founders failed to consider that one day all the gun owners would decide that tyranny is awesome and just use them to shoot the ups guy

feels appropriate to bump this up today