Like bro how could you seriously bro

[cookie monster quietly to himself just before going on camera]

it's just a job it's just a job it's just a job

[camera rolls]

(deep sigh) ME WANT COOKIE

My enemy [holding a gun]: you've got nowhere to run

[I calmly set down my guitar case and slowly open it. From within, I pull a massive automatic rifle. I slowly open that. Inside is a tiny guitar. I pick that up and play the solo from Stairway to Heaven]

My enemy: holy shit

I paid sixty dollars for No Man's Sky nine years ago and they refuse to stop making the video game. I've begged them to go home to their families but they won't stop adding new kinds of weird little guys and like, optimizing the gentle patter of rain on an alien ocean. Please let me pay for a DLC

a dead bee is called a been

Feels like we're so close to finally being able to figure out what teen spirit smells like, as exciting as that sounds

Does happiness have a smell?

"According to a team of European researchers, happiness may generate chemicals that get secreted in sweat, and that sweat signal gets sniffed by those around us."

journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1...

I could accept everyone becoming dumber if we were also becoming nicer (golden retriever-fication) instead of getting more evil

Do you ever get the feeling that Earth gravity is...a bit much? Tripping and falling should not be as big of a deal as it is.