Pinned
the hype
@thehyyyype.bsky.social
· Dec 10
[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"]
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
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MORPHEUS: They're coming for you, Neo. I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say. Take the elevator to the lobby and go to the CVS across the street. Purchase 5 Steam gift cards at $200 each. Scratch off the protective coating on the back and tell me the fifteen digit redemption codes. Hurry
August 23, 2025 at 9:57 PM
MORPHEUS: They're coming for you, Neo. I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say. Take the elevator to the lobby and go to the CVS across the street. Purchase 5 Steam gift cards at $200 each. Scratch off the protective coating on the back and tell me the fifteen digit redemption codes. Hurry
[realizing the trillion dollars i just burned through all went to waste] uhhh yeah, we're gonna do this other thing now
December 9, 2025 at 4:06 AM
[realizing the trillion dollars i just burned through all went to waste] uhhh yeah, we're gonna do this other thing now
I am once again forced to tap the sign:
Two concepts that can both be true at the same time:
1. Donald Trump is bad.
2. You don't need to mention him in response to my posts about iron man farting or whatever.
1. Donald Trump is bad.
2. You don't need to mention him in response to my posts about iron man farting or whatever.
December 9, 2025 at 2:00 AM
I am once again forced to tap the sign:
I.... take that back. Yeah. What the hell.
It just took me about 22 minutes to go 17 miles, so absolutely none of that famous LA traffic I've heard so much about. I think they made that whole thing up to discourage outsiders from coming here, but I'm onto them now
December 9, 2025 at 1:39 AM
I.... take that back. Yeah. What the hell.
D.A.R.E. officer:
REMINDER: People need to get the fuck off X.
December 8, 2025 at 6:54 PM
D.A.R.E. officer:
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tripped on a root this morning as i was haunting the mists and some of the townsfolk friggin saw me fall down
December 8, 2025 at 11:39 AM
tripped on a root this morning as i was haunting the mists and some of the townsfolk friggin saw me fall down
In a new interview, Eminem reveals that he has discovered a word that rhymes syllable for syllable with supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. The "Lose Yourself" artist said the previously unknown term came to him while he was temporarily merged with the "rap force," but refused to elaborate.
December 8, 2025 at 5:54 AM
In a new interview, Eminem reveals that he has discovered a word that rhymes syllable for syllable with supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. The "Lose Yourself" artist said the previously unknown term came to him while he was temporarily merged with the "rap force," but refused to elaborate.
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If a bear attacks you, the best thing to do is play dead. Unless it's Dave, the Necrophiliac Bear
October 14, 2024 at 8:49 PM
If a bear attacks you, the best thing to do is play dead. Unless it's Dave, the Necrophiliac Bear
Just landed in Los Angeles and immediately got handed a card that said "Welcome to LA, your occupation is now either 'waiter trying to be an actor' or 'starfucker.' Choose wisely."??
December 8, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Just landed in Los Angeles and immediately got handed a card that said "Welcome to LA, your occupation is now either 'waiter trying to be an actor' or 'starfucker.' Choose wisely."??
It's very helpful when movies have the notice at the beginning that says "this film has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your screen." I otherwise never would have known that what I'm seeing on my TV is smaller than what I'd see at the theater.
December 7, 2025 at 10:09 PM
It's very helpful when movies have the notice at the beginning that says "this film has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your screen." I otherwise never would have known that what I'm seeing on my TV is smaller than what I'd see at the theater.
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Every new word in this sentence is worse than the last
December 6, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Every new word in this sentence is worse than the last
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"please someone get AI to do this" is the most pathetic fuckin sentence i have ever read. take a good look at how far the AI revolution has taken us. from "could someone please record this ten second bit and lay it over existing moon landing footage" all the way to "please SOMEONE get AI to do this"
December 6, 2025 at 10:15 PM
"please someone get AI to do this" is the most pathetic fuckin sentence i have ever read. take a good look at how far the AI revolution has taken us. from "could someone please record this ten second bit and lay it over existing moon landing footage" all the way to "please SOMEONE get AI to do this"
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this is pretty crazy but you know what is actually a great stocking stuffer? a foot. it's literally the exact same shape as the stocking, it's wild
December 6, 2025 at 7:19 PM
this is pretty crazy but you know what is actually a great stocking stuffer? a foot. it's literally the exact same shape as the stocking, it's wild
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We just accept it because it’s always been this way but ‘Ringo Starr’ is a bonkers thing to call yourself when the other guys are John, Paul, and George. It’s like having a band where everyone else uses their real name and then the drummer goes yes please call me Crackers Creamsworth
December 6, 2025 at 11:02 AM
We just accept it because it’s always been this way but ‘Ringo Starr’ is a bonkers thing to call yourself when the other guys are John, Paul, and George. It’s like having a band where everyone else uses their real name and then the drummer goes yes please call me Crackers Creamsworth
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You alright man? I keep seeing small damage numbers coming off you
July 8, 2024 at 7:00 AM
You alright man? I keep seeing small damage numbers coming off you
Touching base is cool, circling back ain't too bad, and putting a pin in it does the trick, but you know what really gets me going? Running it up the flagpole
December 6, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Touching base is cool, circling back ain't too bad, and putting a pin in it does the trick, but you know what really gets me going? Running it up the flagpole
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i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar
December 5, 2025 at 11:55 PM
i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar
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has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
December 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
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Guy 5,000 years ago: [inventing virgin olive oil]
His friend: unfuck it more
His friend: unfuck it more
October 30, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Guy 5,000 years ago: [inventing virgin olive oil]
His friend: unfuck it more
His friend: unfuck it more
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Step on a crack, the boys in town are back
December 4, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Step on a crack, the boys in town are back
Grand jury declines to indict Letitia James again, saying "this is dumb," and "you can't just make charges up, that's not how the law works"
December 5, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Grand jury declines to indict Letitia James again, saying "this is dumb," and "you can't just make charges up, that's not how the law works"
The "everyone is 12 now" theory is bulletproof
Because you're an adult you fucking muppet. You gotta pay the magic forward.
December 3, 2025 at 6:44 PM
The "everyone is 12 now" theory is bulletproof
[deleting "eat shit and die," taking a deep breath, and starting over] "as we previously discussed,"
December 3, 2025 at 3:17 PM
[deleting "eat shit and die," taking a deep breath, and starting over] "as we previously discussed,"