Phillies are 2 1/2 games up on Mets. It’s the most separation between the two teams in either direction since June 15.

I wish trades were a thing in all jobs. We have been robbed of seeing some coworker you can’t stand hugging the receptionist on the way to the elevator on July 31st

An all-time moment this morning at Coors Field. Johan Rojas went into the stands to make a phone call. Security guards wouldn’t let Rojas back onto field. They did not believe he was a player. Zack Wheeler had to fetch him. Rockies forever.

NICK CASTELLANOS: Eh it's wet and gross, I don't feel like swinging

VOICE THAT NICK CASTELLANOS ALWAYS OBEYS: You are the chaos shepherd. Every thrust of your crook unlocks new powers in this realm. Without you the undying sphere will consume the sheep of this wretched earth—

CASTELLANOS: ugh fine

Infielder Buddy Kennedy cleared waivers and elected free agency rather than accept an outright assignment to Triple A. Phillies had hoped to retain him as depth.

Here’s a sassy boy in pajamas. You’re welcome

Walking my dead dog in the neighborhood and the pretentious pricks are judging me

Here are some nice mushrooms

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