Marcus Houlden
@mhoulden.uk
Biker, software engineer, not into right wing culture wars. He/him/oi you
Working on the basis that you can't grok what you don't have, I'll shortly move my old tweets to an archive account on here, and then reduce my profile there to a short stub. Been meaning to do it for ages but I'm finally getting round to tidying things up
January 8, 2026 at 12:23 PM
Working on the basis that you can't grok what you don't have, I'll shortly move my old tweets to an archive account on here, and then reduce my profile there to a short stub. Been meaning to do it for ages but I'm finally getting round to tidying things up
I liked this cartoon in the 2025 Private Eye annual
January 6, 2026 at 10:31 AM
I liked this cartoon in the 2025 Private Eye annual
I was marshalling in the beer tent at a motorbike rally over summer. At the end of the night we were asking people to leave.
"Right folks, we're closing for the night. Can you take your drinks outside please?"
"We're druids. We want to worship the sun"
"The sun is outside, not in here."
"Oh."
"Right folks, we're closing for the night. Can you take your drinks outside please?"
"We're druids. We want to worship the sun"
"The sun is outside, not in here."
"Oh."
Please quote this with stories of your minor interactions with non-celebrities, e.g. “I once accidentally bumped into a man in the Wellingborough branch of Holland & Barrett”
December 30, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I was marshalling in the beer tent at a motorbike rally over summer. At the end of the night we were asking people to leave.
"Right folks, we're closing for the night. Can you take your drinks outside please?"
"We're druids. We want to worship the sun"
"The sun is outside, not in here."
"Oh."
"Right folks, we're closing for the night. Can you take your drinks outside please?"
"We're druids. We want to worship the sun"
"The sun is outside, not in here."
"Oh."
I think my AI app needs a bit more training. Have a good one tomorrow anyway
December 24, 2025 at 10:21 PM
I think my AI app needs a bit more training. Have a good one tomorrow anyway
Looking forward to #DuvetKnowItsChristmas. I keep thinking about the family in @rhodri.biz's book who decided to do all their shopping on Christmas Eve
December 24, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Looking forward to #DuvetKnowItsChristmas. I keep thinking about the family in @rhodri.biz's book who decided to do all their shopping on Christmas Eve
I couldn't help thinking the Transpennine Railway Route Upgrade project could have the same idea with their logo
December 18, 2025 at 1:03 PM
I couldn't help thinking the Transpennine Railway Route Upgrade project could have the same idea with their logo
The year is 23,000 AD. Great civilisations have risen and fallen. We have colonised most of the solar system. The DFS sale continues. Leeds is still 7 years away from getting a tram network. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Leeds-Bradford £2.5bn tram plan delayed after government review
West Yorkshire's mayor says she is confident the trams will be running
www.bbc.co.uk
December 18, 2025 at 10:45 AM
The year is 23,000 AD. Great civilisations have risen and fallen. We have colonised most of the solar system. The DFS sale continues. Leeds is still 7 years away from getting a tram network. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
The Exorcist: holy men take sacred items to a young child
Every movie is a Christmas movie if you try hard enough. Aliens? Who's that coming down the chimney? Pulp Fiction? Cleaning up before relatives descend. Ice Cold in Alex? Alcoholism. Lord of the Rings? Please, that whole thing is about inappropriate gifts.
December 12, 2025 at 11:35 AM
The Exorcist: holy men take sacred items to a young child
Is Cloudflare having another moment?
December 5, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Is Cloudflare having another moment?
One for @apiln.bsky.social? I don't think having Spice lying around for rats is a good idea
November 30, 2025 at 9:04 PM
One for @apiln.bsky.social? I don't think having Spice lying around for rats is a good idea
Reposted by Marcus Houlden
Please, not the Great Soprendo.
Thomas Massie says the FBI is sitting on information that implicates 20 other men in Epstein's child sex trafficking operation
They include a rockstar, six billionaires (including one from Canada), a high-profile government official, a very prominent banker, and a magician
They include a rockstar, six billionaires (including one from Canada), a high-profile government official, a very prominent banker, and a magician
November 23, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Please, not the Great Soprendo.
Reposted by Marcus Houlden
November 19, 2025 at 10:30 AM
I'm not convinced an immigration policy designed to appease people who don't want the Labour Party to even exist is the electoral masterstroke its advisors think it is
November 17, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I'm not convinced an immigration policy designed to appease people who don't want the Labour Party to even exist is the electoral masterstroke its advisors think it is
Race Across Whicker's World #TwoShowsInOne
November 16, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Race Across Whicker's World #TwoShowsInOne
"Police want to talk to 25 million suspects" www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Two arrested over phone hidden in Commons to reportedly play sex noises during PMQs
Police believe device was deliberately planted near frontbench to disrupt proceedings, prompting heightened security in parliament
www.theguardian.com
November 15, 2025 at 11:31 PM
"Police want to talk to 25 million suspects" www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Were things really better 50 years ago or were people just not paying attention? Nairn Across Britain (broadcast in 1972) is a good demonstration that things weren't exactly peachy: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p...
BBC - Nairn Across Britain
Ian Nairn takes a critical look at the townscapes and landscapes in which we live
www.bbc.co.uk
November 14, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Were things really better 50 years ago or were people just not paying attention? Nairn Across Britain (broadcast in 1972) is a good demonstration that things weren't exactly peachy: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p...
Couldn't they deport Morgan McSweeney? Might stop him banging on about immigration all the time as a bonus
November 12, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Couldn't they deport Morgan McSweeney? Might stop him banging on about immigration all the time as a bonus
Reposted by Marcus Houlden
How prudish is this site's automod system if it hides "rude" posts (Settings -> Moderation -> Bluesky Moderation Service)? The fuck.
They'll be wanting to stupidly introduce a split infinitive filter next
They'll be wanting to stupidly introduce a split infinitive filter next
November 6, 2025 at 9:45 PM
How prudish is this site's automod system if it hides "rude" posts (Settings -> Moderation -> Bluesky Moderation Service)? The fuck.
They'll be wanting to stupidly introduce a split infinitive filter next
They'll be wanting to stupidly introduce a split infinitive filter next
If they're looking for alternative accommodation for the Andrew formerly known as Prince, there's a nice palace on the banks of the Thames with a view of Tower Bridge that would do.
October 30, 2025 at 9:40 PM
If they're looking for alternative accommodation for the Andrew formerly known as Prince, there's a nice palace on the banks of the Thames with a view of Tower Bridge that would do.
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families. www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RQz... #ALotofDangerAndALotOfBother
October 27, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families. www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RQz... #ALotofDangerAndALotOfBother
Reposted by Marcus Houlden
Top trolling, no notes
October 25, 2025 at 11:58 AM
Top trolling, no notes