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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 19h

"I told a type of surgeon who the writer of A Scanner Darkly was."
"Author P. Dick?"
"No, cardiothoracic."

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 20h

That's the one, yeah

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 20h

My OXO cubes have got really used to being in their box, and don’t want to come out. They’ve developed etc etc

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 21h

I went into a bicycle repair shop because I was having trouble with my gears. The repairman said, "Your derailleur's whiffed." I said, "No. While I am also famous, talented and beautiful, so I understand you mistaking me for her, I am actually children's non-fiction author Mike Rampton."

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Reposted by Mike Rampton

Doug Mack @douglasmack.bsky.social · 1d

the most delightful version of logging on to see what news you've missed

Dr Ramsdell, whose phone had been on airplane mode when the Nobel committee tried to call him, told the BBC's Newshour Programme that his first response when his wife said, "You've won the Nobel prize" was: "I did not."

To which Ms O'Neill replied that she had 200 text messages that suggested he had.

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Reposted by Mike Rampton

Comedy Club 4 Kids @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social · 1d

Families of Finsbury Park! Join us at @parktheatrelondon.bsky.social this Sunday to hoot at Rich @sandling.bsky.social (MC), musical comic David Hoare, @mikerampton.bsky.social and CITVs @bechillcomedian.bsky.social!

🎟️ parktheatre.co.uk/events/comed...
💻 #finsburypark #familyshow #standup #comedy

See Rich Sandling, David Hoare, Mike Rampton and Bec Hill on October 12th, then e.g. Rob Kemp, Sam Eley's Basil Crumbwick, and Mandeep Singh on November 9th.

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 1d

Ah, thank you! I think driving to the airport cost more than the flights. Appalling.

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Reposted by Mike Rampton

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 1d

I'll never admit that I'm still the one who keeps stopping my wife's 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman' CD, because I've got pausable Shaniability.

#LunchPun

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 1d

Tickets: parktheatre.co.uk/events/comed...

Comedy Club 4 Kids - Park Theatre

Since 2005, the Comedy Club 4 Kids has been getting the best stand-ups, sketch acts and cabaret stars from the international circuit to do their thing for an audience of children (aged 6+) and their f...

parktheatre.co.uk

Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 1d

If you're near Finsbury Park this weekend and have/are a kid, come to this. I'm a small part of it, but the rest will be amazing. Bec Hill is both incredibly funny and the only comedian in the world named after the second bit of two Tube stations.

Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

Because my life makes minimal sense, I am performing at a children's comedy show with actual real amazing comedians next week. Anything you don't understand about how this has happened, I also don't understand about how this has happened.

A flyer for Comedy Club 4 Kids, taking place in Finsbury Park's Park Theatre on October 12th featuring Michael Legge, David Hoare, Bec Hill and somehow me. (And also on November 9th with Rob Kemp, Basil Crumbwick and Mandeep Singh, but I'm mainly interested in the "Mike Rampton" bit.)

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Reposted by Mike Rampton

Coates is Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 1d

So, happy 362nd anniversary to this entry from the Diary of Samuel Pepys – who had gone to bed the three previous nights “in some pain”, “in great pain”, and “beginning to be troubled with wind as I used to be”

Diary of Samuel Pepys, 7 October 1663: I did keep my bed; and my pain continued on me mightily, that I keeped within all day in great pain, and could break no wind nor have any stool after my physic had done working. So in the evening I took coach and to Mr Hollyards, but he was not at home; and so home again. And whether the coach did me good or no I know not, but having a good fire in my chamber, I begun to break six or seven small and great farts; and so to bed and lay in good ease all night, and pissed pretty well in the morning, but no more wind came as it used to do plentifully, after it once begun, nor any inclination to stool.

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 1d

Amazon are clearly baddies and nobody should use them. That said, my wonderful book There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question is just a tenner on there today (RRP £18.99) and makes a great Christmas present, so you might want to buy thirty or so. www.amazon.co.uk/dp/183994739X/

The cover of the book There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question, beautifully illustrated by the great Guilherme Karsten.

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Reposted by Mike Rampton

Ted (& technically Ro) @brandtandstein.com · 2d

Two photos side by side. On the left is Karl Urban as Judge Dredd, labelled “Karl Urban”. On the right is Karl Urban as Eomer, labelled “Karl Rural”.

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Reposted by Mike Rampton

Angus Main @angusmain.bsky.social · 2d

Keith Urban’s mates

Ed from Naked Gun 2 when Frank’s telling him about his love life

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 2d

With all that stamping he does, he should be called Michael Philately!

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 2d

Straight Outta Rampton

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

The universe giveth, and it taketh bouquet

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

Because my life makes minimal sense, I am performing at a children's comedy show with actual real amazing comedians next week. Anything you don't understand about how this has happened, I also don't understand about how this has happened.

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Reposted by Mike Rampton

John Self @john-self.bsky.social · 5d

"My name's Kitty. I could have married, I've given gallons of blood and I can't stomach whelks, so that's me for you."

RIP Patricia Routledge.

Patricia Routledge Kitty

YouTube video by ukcomedy

www.youtube.com

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

At least Patricia Routledge got to hear Death of a Showgirl

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

Yes I am very great in all ways.

Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

Yeah thanks I'm really great

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

In two weeks, THERE ARE NO SILLY QUESTIONS is released in America. It'll definitely be the biggest cultural thing to happen this month I reckon.

A flyer proclaiming "Out on October 17 in the United States of America: OCTOBER'S BIGGEST ALBUM (in the French sense of "large colorful book") There Are No Silly Questions, available from nosycrow.us"

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 5d

I'm looking through this book of photos that was farted out by someone that makes beer from pond-dwelling salamanders, and it's doing nothing for me. Perhaps I have the wrong "newt-aler's whiffed album".

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 6d

"My favourite singer's memoir is perfect for enjoying on the toilet."
"Loo read?"
"No. I don't like him at all."

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