I brought the kids and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

I still think the replacement plans so far have all been worse, mind. Incredibly bland boxes. And why so much new office space?

Yeah, the only appealing bit was the coffee shop in the dome with lovely views, which was then inexplicably replaced with a crap Chinese buffet.

I was away for that! Gutted that I missed it.

I'm still v sad that he had to pull out (I think he broke his arm) the year I was supposed to see him at Glastonbury performing his many, many bangers.

OK so in 1992 a girl I know went with her brother to Lepre-con and she was one of the only girls there. The shy nerdy boys acted like she was the goddess Aphrodite and it did wonders for her self-confidence. Then one boy approached her with a figurine and said "I have painted you an orc".

Every week there's a pair of headlines that's like

"NUMBER OF HOMELESS CHILDREN REACHES ONE MILLION"
and
"GOVERNMENT TO FAST TRACK BILL BANNING TURNING YOUR PILLOW OVER TO THE COOL SIDE"

A friend got a similar reaction after breaking her leg. Yes, the magical helmet force field of protection extends to all limbs.

There's also the "woken up at sparrowfart to have your bloods done/other medical poking" fun.

From my most recent inpatient experience, you sleep on your side until you are woken up by a machine beeping because you're lying on a tube (and/or feeling unwell from the affliction that had me there in the first place).

The only one I remember clearly involved him putting his beermat down over anyone's change left on the bar and slowly, furtively sliding it towards him.

Fond memories of a somewhat medicated night after an Aphex Twin gig where we were regaled with stories by a man whose uncle was apparently Cavan's Stingiest Man.

One of my all time favourites

Not accepting BOLLOCK either.