Needles
@needles.bsky.social
New Year’s Rockin Eve - Live on ABC - “Next Day on Hulu” ?
December 14, 2025 at 12:55 AM
New Year’s Rockin Eve - Live on ABC - “Next Day on Hulu” ?
If Forrest Gump came out today he’d have been born in 1986 and been directly involved in at least 8 school shootings
December 13, 2025 at 5:29 PM
If Forrest Gump came out today he’d have been born in 1986 and been directly involved in at least 8 school shootings
Hoping for some fresh videos of dad’s friend from work Darryl dressed as the Grinch doing a simulated home invasion and kidnapping
December 13, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Hoping for some fresh videos of dad’s friend from work Darryl dressed as the Grinch doing a simulated home invasion and kidnapping
Going to Roy Rogers and ordering, specifically, “The chicken that makes me sick”
December 13, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Going to Roy Rogers and ordering, specifically, “The chicken that makes me sick”
Having a frank discussion with Teddy Ruxpin regarding the sovereignty of Taiwan
December 11, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Having a frank discussion with Teddy Ruxpin regarding the sovereignty of Taiwan
Every time it gets very cold weathermen always show you the Yukon or Alaska and tell you it could be worse. Just let me be miserable ok
December 9, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Every time it gets very cold weathermen always show you the Yukon or Alaska and tell you it could be worse. Just let me be miserable ok
I get so much attitude from the guys at the Goodwill donation drop I'm about to stop taking my yard waste there
December 7, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I get so much attitude from the guys at the Goodwill donation drop I'm about to stop taking my yard waste there
Showing up for work in a seaplane, impressing nobody
December 6, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Showing up for work in a seaplane, impressing nobody
When you go to the cat cafe at eat the cats, that’s just called “understanding the assignment”
December 5, 2025 at 11:07 PM
When you go to the cat cafe at eat the cats, that’s just called “understanding the assignment”
Trump’s gonna come out of this as one of like 6 Americans that understand the offside rule (I still don’t fucking get it)
Trump: "When you look at football in the US, soccer -- we seem to never call it that, because we have a little bit of a conflict with another thing that's called football. But when you think about it, shouldn't it really be called football? We have to come up with another name for the NFL stuff."
December 5, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Trump’s gonna come out of this as one of like 6 Americans that understand the offside rule (I still don’t fucking get it)
Reposted by Needles
they’re not missing the point, you’re missing theirs
DOJ's newest recruitment ad features Judge Dredd, the comic satire about the dangers of lawless policing and authoritarian power
December 5, 2025 at 1:35 AM
they’re not missing the point, you’re missing theirs
They should do a Maginot Line but for hanging out
December 3, 2025 at 8:33 PM
They should do a Maginot Line but for hanging out
Reposted by Needles
Do it, Trump. Reopen Action Park.
May 5, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Do it, Trump. Reopen Action Park.
Looking after my nephew for the day. Every time we stop to use the restroom I tell him he's about to use the world's largest toilet, but they're all regular toilet sized. Really messing with his perceptions.
December 1, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Looking after my nephew for the day. Every time we stop to use the restroom I tell him he's about to use the world's largest toilet, but they're all regular toilet sized. Really messing with his perceptions.
It’s crazy, you can stand by the fragrance table at the store and just tell people “Hey, smell this” and they do it. I don’t even work here
November 30, 2025 at 6:07 PM
It’s crazy, you can stand by the fragrance table at the store and just tell people “Hey, smell this” and they do it. I don’t even work here
The sounds coming from the apartment upstairs is exactly what you hear when you’re at a theme park and you can hear a ride but not yet see it
November 30, 2025 at 5:31 AM
The sounds coming from the apartment upstairs is exactly what you hear when you’re at a theme park and you can hear a ride but not yet see it
People aren’t making ziggurats anymore
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 AM
People aren’t making ziggurats anymore
Everyone here leaves town for Thanksgiving and I can finally pee anywhere I like
November 27, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Everyone here leaves town for Thanksgiving and I can finally pee anywhere I like
Ugh, there's a light drizzle outside. I can't walk the quarter of a block down to the gym in this
November 25, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Ugh, there's a light drizzle outside. I can't walk the quarter of a block down to the gym in this
Reposted by Needles
This is identical to Russia invading Ukraine. Illegally invading a country for their resources and likely killing thousands—if not more—is immoral and should not be supported by anyone with any shred of moral conscience.
Rep. Salazar on Venezuela: "We're about to go in ... we need to go in ... Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day"
November 24, 2025 at 9:36 PM
This is identical to Russia invading Ukraine. Illegally invading a country for their resources and likely killing thousands—if not more—is immoral and should not be supported by anyone with any shred of moral conscience.
Asking the gas station guy if they sell Pop Tart loosies or do I have to buy a whole box
November 22, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Asking the gas station guy if they sell Pop Tart loosies or do I have to buy a whole box
Tampa Bay comes out of this by the skin of its teeth with gas station deli Cubanos
I want everyone to post their hometown slop (if you don't have a cuisine that qualifies then your town has zero culture).
Skyline is fine and hits at 3 am just like taco bell lol
Skyline is fine and hits at 3 am just like taco bell lol
November 18, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Tampa Bay comes out of this by the skin of its teeth with gas station deli Cubanos
I’m going to go ahead and say it. Nothing interesting ever happens anymore
November 15, 2025 at 5:45 AM
I’m going to go ahead and say it. Nothing interesting ever happens anymore
SPOILER: At the end of the Running Man remake, everyone has to go back and repeat the 3rd grade
November 14, 2025 at 5:14 AM
SPOILER: At the end of the Running Man remake, everyone has to go back and repeat the 3rd grade
Yes, every aspect of American life is controlled by a cabal of fascist pedophiles. But it’s a small price to pay to ensure our dumbest billionaires never pay any taxes
November 12, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Yes, every aspect of American life is controlled by a cabal of fascist pedophiles. But it’s a small price to pay to ensure our dumbest billionaires never pay any taxes