“Air Bud” reboot but he’s a boxer this time.

JOSEPH: *holding newborn baby* he’s a miracle

MARY: what should we name him

*baby shits all over*

JOSEPH: jesus christ

Who was the lazy ass chef with enough social currency in the culinary world to say “leave ze tails on ze shrimp. Bury it in the spaghetti. Iz bettaaaa.”

And what stupid accent was that? It sucks. Now I hate him twice.

YouTube chefs love to be like don’t use that DISGUSTING store-bought chicken stock simply take two of your nearest chicken carcasses and a pound of fresh herbs and devote 2 entire days to making your own, it couldn’t be easier you LAZY ASSHOLE

“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”

Seconds into the scene, we realized we should have gotten a stunt grandma.