Thinking about how my Catholic school gym class taught us a dance to Mambo Number 5

Love when my eyelid starts to spasm. Me too bitch. Me too.

My version of artificial intelligence is smiling and nodding

the real runners high is the superiority complex

I never thought I'd say this, but Taylor Swift should do more coke

boyfriend isn't worried about me being kidnapped by strangers on Facebook marketplace...do I dump him?

Kinda miss random men explaining my own opinion to me in all caps.

"Fuck your feelings" but also please come to thanksgiving, we miss you and our vote had nothing to do with you, honey.

This feels like we’re in one of the Jurassic Park sequels where a lot of us were like “hey let’s not try this again because last time the dinosaurs got loose” but other people were like “well, maybe the dinosaurs won’t get loose this time.”

Kinda missing the authentic twitter experience, can someone dm me a death threat

It’s really pretty cool that one thing you can do to support people you like is ask your local library to get their book because it doesn’t cost you anything, it helps them, and the librarian gets to know someone actually wants to read a book and not just use the computer for Roblox

I wasn't a band or theater kid, but I was a book kid and I think that still counts for something here.

Is it efficient to create an additional layer of bureaucracy named “Departament of Government Efficiency”?