The one thing I wish every kid knew is that you absolutely are going to have to totally start over in life, probably a couple of times. Your career, your marriage, your social circle, your sense of identity - at least one of them is going be like a sand castle hit by a wave.

SISYPHUS: *finally dies* ahh peace at last *is reincarnated as the itsy bitsy spider* son of a

Your timeline is filled with dread and hopelessness—have a sleepy lil foster cat curling her tiny feets while she dreams. As a treat.

My daughter lost her first tooth and put it under her pillow. I replaced it with an even bigger tooth. She wants to play tooth games? Let's dance.

i’m just photoshopping muppets onto the cover of harper’s bazaar: thread

Taking this random post as my sign: this is the year that I will throw my potato party, damnit. It’s now or never, and it’s the only resolution that has ever mattered. 😤

And I quote this as a member of a crossfit gym—I have FOUR JARS of gelato in my freezer right now.

make up your mind egg salad sandwich