Unnecessarily Sexy Statues
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overlysexystatues.bsky.social
Unnecessarily Sexy Statues
@overlysexystatues.bsky.social
Bringing you oversexed sculpture since art began. Slightly spicy. All about the alt-text. Pronouns are whatever you want them to be.
(Fine art images mostly semi-nude; however, this feed is sometimes NSFW, and will come with a warning.)
Pinned
Tell your mom I said hey.
I might occasionally also post Unnecessarily Awkward Statues. That just seems fair. Call it comic relief.
October 17, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Folks, I try to stick to statuary and avoid politics or current events on this feed, but sometimes I lose track of which account I'm logged into. Bygones!
October 16, 2025 at 2:22 AM
So did someone report this for the extra (sexually suggestive) label, or was it my alt-text?
"Please pass the, ummm...."

(NSFW)
October 14, 2025 at 8:21 AM
It makes a movie appearance in Wes Anderson's The Phoenician Scheme! You might be able to get a limited edition replica from Old World Wonders, if you have $6k burning a hole in your pocket.

oldworldwonders.com/blogs/news/r...
October 14, 2025 at 6:47 AM
@jmshghtwr.bsky.social good news! A replica WAS made, by Morpier Argenteria in the 1970’s, out of gilt silver, enamel, resin and wood! It last sold for just under 6$k; way below the $60M valuation of the original!

oldworldwonders.com/products/rar...
October 14, 2025 at 6:41 AM
"Please pass the, ummm...."

(NSFW)
October 13, 2025 at 8:11 AM
I tried to censor the next statue, but I can't find a way to do it. It's just straight up unnecessarily sexy in like, the most unnecessary way for something that sat on the table during dinner, unless what you were eating was entirely compromised of aphrodisiacs, and orgy was on the menu...
October 13, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Tell your mom this account uses alt-text. To view the text, tap the tiny square that says ALT in a corner of the image. Then tap the image to open the alt-text and display the first few lines, and tap the text to open it the rest of the way to read all of it. You might need to scroll.
October 11, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Reposted by Unnecessarily Sexy Statues
I mean, it's not "Unnecessarily Awkward Statues" for a reason. This is awful. Alt-text is probably NSFW if you are using a reader and no headphones.
October 9, 2025 at 6:57 PM
"Somewhere in between, you’ll find anodyne Italian and New American restaurants that serve chardonnay in very large glasses. None of it feels particularly like LA..."

It is exactly like LA, in my opinion. Perfectly encapsulated.
"It’s a stunning vision of our inequitable, climate-challenged future: Wander around the area today and you’ll find a neighborhood reduced to ashes as Lululemon still stands."

I spent the summer hanging out at Rick Caruso's malls as he allegedly mulls a gubernatorial run:
nyra.nyc/articles/mal...
October 9, 2025 at 6:21 PM
I just--💦
October 8, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Sorry, not sorry. 😉
October 5, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Damn it. I forgot one. Probably not any of the ones you think. The pornographic salt cellar I had planned for tomorrow will have to wait a day.
Thus endeth the Bernini sequence.
October 5, 2025 at 12:15 PM
This is a lot. Just--it's a lot.

You've got Neptune, you've got satyrs, tritons, putti, fauns, dolphins, horses, & mortals. Neptune's features were modeled after Cosimo I de' Medici, who commissioned it, the original sculptor died before he could start it, and the next guy kept at it for decades.
October 5, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Folks, I will always use a sticker of some sort to cover genitalia in this account and provide alt-text descriptions containing background for any sculpture I post – title, date, material & artist at bare minimum.
October 4, 2025 at 4:56 AM
I mean,if you can't die in ecstacy what even is your life, right, Gian Lorenzo?
October 3, 2025 at 6:15 AM
Who's ready for another Bernini?
October 3, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Next up in our Bernini sequence, the Ecstacy of Saint Teresa, which is really just a little too spicy for a church, but that's where it lives, which poses the eternal question, "REALLY CATHOLICS, WTF???"
October 2, 2025 at 6:38 AM
BRB. Gotta go slay a giant in the nude. Like you do.
October 1, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Bernini sequence incoming.
October 1, 2025 at 11:41 AM
If you are into Pouty Spartacus, I hate to do this to you, but I figured out who he reminds me of, and if I have to suffer with it, so do you.
October 1, 2025 at 11:17 AM
I give you...Spartacus. And the immortal observation of @karidru.bsky.social:

"Somebody needs a hug.

"Either that or somebody needs a towel and for you to knock next time."

😂🏆
October 1, 2025 at 1:57 AM