Impressing the young associate I just hired by showing him pictures of my girlfriend in a bikini. “She’s an E.R. doctor,” I tell him
January 10, 2026 at 3:19 AM
Impressing the young associate I just hired by showing him pictures of my girlfriend in a bikini. “She’s an E.R. doctor,” I tell him
Turning my brain on random mode, spewing out some random gunk
January 7, 2026 at 8:24 PM
Turning my brain on random mode, spewing out some random gunk
Handheld goniometers are convenient, but to accurately measure range of motion you should really be using one of those old fashioned goniometers, the ones that are the size of a room and preferably running some older version of Linux
January 7, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Handheld goniometers are convenient, but to accurately measure range of motion you should really be using one of those old fashioned goniometers, the ones that are the size of a room and preferably running some older version of Linux
I was skeptical at first about having to take off my clothes. But you know what? It’s actually quite nice
December 30, 2025 at 4:05 PM
I was skeptical at first about having to take off my clothes. But you know what? It’s actually quite nice
To extract large data sets through open source code-mining, you unfortunately need to run a much older version of Linux.
December 30, 2025 at 3:47 PM
To extract large data sets through open source code-mining, you unfortunately need to run a much older version of Linux.
My father-in-law is insisting on taking me to the ball pit but I’m nervous because I don’t know if it’s the kind where you take your clothes off
December 17, 2025 at 10:22 PM
My father-in-law is insisting on taking me to the ball pit but I’m nervous because I don’t know if it’s the kind where you take your clothes off
It’s good to have a towel handy when you get out of the ball pit. Not for water, but for the balls
December 17, 2025 at 6:28 PM
It’s good to have a towel handy when you get out of the ball pit. Not for water, but for the balls
My wife is in the ball pit right now, but I could take a message?
December 17, 2025 at 6:28 PM
My wife is in the ball pit right now, but I could take a message?
My HR manager was out for a week on a wellness retreat and now keeps referring to the employee handbook as “my own eight-fold path of sorts.” While his newfound passion is invigorating, I don’t see how the firm’s PTO policy is supposed to save us from the painful cycle of rebirth
December 17, 2025 at 6:21 PM
My HR manager was out for a week on a wellness retreat and now keeps referring to the employee handbook as “my own eight-fold path of sorts.” While his newfound passion is invigorating, I don’t see how the firm’s PTO policy is supposed to save us from the painful cycle of rebirth
It seems ridiculous that they make you sign a waiver to go in the ball pit, but once you’re in there it makes sense
December 17, 2025 at 3:03 PM
It seems ridiculous that they make you sign a waiver to go in the ball pit, but once you’re in there it makes sense
There’s something almost fascinating about curiosities
December 9, 2025 at 6:34 PM
There’s something almost fascinating about curiosities
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
December 9, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
Bringing my chip clip to this wedding in case there’s chips there
December 6, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Bringing my chip clip to this wedding in case there’s chips there
“I lost count of how many parts I have years ago”
—The man with infinite body parts
—The man with infinite body parts
December 6, 2025 at 3:45 AM
“I lost count of how many parts I have years ago”
—The man with infinite body parts
—The man with infinite body parts
When I asked my wife why she poked the weird squishy thing in the store, her response was simply, “it was on sale.”
November 26, 2025 at 8:05 PM
When I asked my wife why she poked the weird squishy thing in the store, her response was simply, “it was on sale.”
Discourse about the Inspector always focuses on how young he is which I never really understood. The guy is 35
November 26, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Discourse about the Inspector always focuses on how young he is which I never really understood. The guy is 35
The Inspector: No one outlogics the Inspector!
Me: *uses a machine to outlogic the inspector*
Me: *uses a machine to outlogic the inspector*
November 25, 2025 at 6:42 PM
The Inspector: No one outlogics the Inspector!
Me: *uses a machine to outlogic the inspector*
Me: *uses a machine to outlogic the inspector*
Reposted by Pilkin
It's weird when something happens twice 😂
November 21, 2025 at 5:22 AM
It's weird when something happens twice 😂
I can’t get my three year old to stop toying with the conventions of the medium
October 16, 2025 at 10:10 PM
I can’t get my three year old to stop toying with the conventions of the medium
I’m trying to explain to my son that I don’t have gaydar, I have gentleman’s intuition
October 14, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I’m trying to explain to my son that I don’t have gaydar, I have gentleman’s intuition
Reposted by Pilkin
playing a beautiful song on my bugle then smashing it to bits
June 27, 2023 at 2:31 PM
playing a beautiful song on my bugle then smashing it to bits
Jeremy Allen White cast as Gopher in the live action Gopher movie
September 4, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Jeremy Allen White cast as Gopher in the live action Gopher movie
Reposted by Pilkin
Trying to comfort my friend, who is having a hard time, by explaining that Thomas the Tank Engine did not appear until the second book in The Railway Series. I display such an intense teary-eyed sincerity that while I do not make her feel better, it is the main thing she thinks about at my funeral.
September 1, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Trying to comfort my friend, who is having a hard time, by explaining that Thomas the Tank Engine did not appear until the second book in The Railway Series. I display such an intense teary-eyed sincerity that while I do not make her feel better, it is the main thing she thinks about at my funeral.
The most hacky comedians make jokes about Hustle Mustard like “who’s it even for?? Ha ha ha” As if they don’t literally say it in the commercial. it’s mustard for the hardworking man
July 26, 2025 at 4:40 AM
The most hacky comedians make jokes about Hustle Mustard like “who’s it even for?? Ha ha ha” As if they don’t literally say it in the commercial. it’s mustard for the hardworking man