Ppallo
@ppallo.bsky.social
Don't even need to say whether I'm CIA or not.
James is telling us a pretty distressing story about his tall wife, but even when talking about very questionable behaviour he can't help but mention her height. He'll be like"..Timmy's in the back seat and I think she's black out drunk, which at 6'1" takes some doing, and the kid is crying..."
January 16, 2026 at 10:13 PM
James is telling us a pretty distressing story about his tall wife, but even when talking about very questionable behaviour he can't help but mention her height. He'll be like"..Timmy's in the back seat and I think she's black out drunk, which at 6'1" takes some doing, and the kid is crying..."
"God your body was made for fucking!"
"Actually ma'am you will find that the good doctor designed me for the purpose of remembering passwords and slicing cheese in an efficient manner, any other skills are an afterthought, but I am glad you are enjoying yourself."
"Actually ma'am you will find that the good doctor designed me for the purpose of remembering passwords and slicing cheese in an efficient manner, any other skills are an afterthought, but I am glad you are enjoying yourself."
January 16, 2026 at 1:25 AM
"God your body was made for fucking!"
"Actually ma'am you will find that the good doctor designed me for the purpose of remembering passwords and slicing cheese in an efficient manner, any other skills are an afterthought, but I am glad you are enjoying yourself."
"Actually ma'am you will find that the good doctor designed me for the purpose of remembering passwords and slicing cheese in an efficient manner, any other skills are an afterthought, but I am glad you are enjoying yourself."
Reposted by Ppallo
Your Honour, I really would prefer that we stop referring to my client as "Reprehensible Jim". Yes I recognise it is his legal name your Honour.
January 15, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Your Honour, I really would prefer that we stop referring to my client as "Reprehensible Jim". Yes I recognise it is his legal name your Honour.
My uncle left me, his strongest nephew, fifty men and a glorious ship to find his treasure. He left my cousin, his most cunning nephew, a fine stallion and twenty gold pieces to aid him. And unluckily he left my foolish brother, who he was kind to, a broken compass. Idiot. It doesn't point north!
January 15, 2026 at 8:18 PM
My uncle left me, his strongest nephew, fifty men and a glorious ship to find his treasure. He left my cousin, his most cunning nephew, a fine stallion and twenty gold pieces to aid him. And unluckily he left my foolish brother, who he was kind to, a broken compass. Idiot. It doesn't point north!
My neighbour has two comments hotkeyed on his computer Tab + X for "I guess there just is no room for love or attraction anymore?" and Tab + C for "People like this should be shot", if he accidentally presses the wrong one he doesn't correct it as he says "God intervened".
January 14, 2026 at 10:14 PM
My neighbour has two comments hotkeyed on his computer Tab + X for "I guess there just is no room for love or attraction anymore?" and Tab + C for "People like this should be shot", if he accidentally presses the wrong one he doesn't correct it as he says "God intervened".
My therapist suggested I mark people I don't trust and who mean to harm me with a small strip of masking tape, so I remember this about them immediately when I encounter them. It has not been going well. She has the best Yelp reviews of any therapist in her swamp, but it is a small swamp.
January 14, 2026 at 7:19 PM
My therapist suggested I mark people I don't trust and who mean to harm me with a small strip of masking tape, so I remember this about them immediately when I encounter them. It has not been going well. She has the best Yelp reviews of any therapist in her swamp, but it is a small swamp.
My father taught me to raise my sword before I raise my voice, “there is diplomacy and if it fails, there is action, yelling is part of neither” he would say. He’s in prison now of course, this is sadly not a time for men of such convictions.
January 14, 2026 at 7:15 PM
My father taught me to raise my sword before I raise my voice, “there is diplomacy and if it fails, there is action, yelling is part of neither” he would say. He’s in prison now of course, this is sadly not a time for men of such convictions.
Reposted by Ppallo
bro are you seriously using the Wind Crystal to power your airship, you know it shrouds the land in calamity
May 29, 2023 at 3:12 PM
bro are you seriously using the Wind Crystal to power your airship, you know it shrouds the land in calamity
During the New Atheism boom of the aughts I gained some renown with my stunt "Atheist Outlasts Jonah Inside a Whale". I spent over five days inside a whale, and made a point not to pray once. I had to be resuscitated seven times, the mainstream press mostly ignored my achievement.
January 13, 2026 at 8:56 PM
During the New Atheism boom of the aughts I gained some renown with my stunt "Atheist Outlasts Jonah Inside a Whale". I spent over five days inside a whale, and made a point not to pray once. I had to be resuscitated seven times, the mainstream press mostly ignored my achievement.
Reposted by Ppallo
Architectural Digest has once again succeeded in tricking me into appearing in their biannual "Piss Poor Lodgings" roast issue. They call me the "Frank Lloyd Wright of getting it wrong". Still, they were kinder than when Horse and Hound listed me as one of the century's most evil and ugly dogs.
January 9, 2024 at 5:19 AM
Architectural Digest has once again succeeded in tricking me into appearing in their biannual "Piss Poor Lodgings" roast issue. They call me the "Frank Lloyd Wright of getting it wrong". Still, they were kinder than when Horse and Hound listed me as one of the century's most evil and ugly dogs.
Reposted by Ppallo
Her surname, “Handbasket,” is neither here nor there
January 12, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Her surname, “Handbasket,” is neither here nor there
My wife has come around on calling the lady who is our purveyor for adhesives our "Bond Girl". Helena herself loves it, she has an easy smile and a quick wit. Able to make a connection with anyone, pun very much intended.
January 12, 2026 at 7:50 PM
My wife has come around on calling the lady who is our purveyor for adhesives our "Bond Girl". Helena herself loves it, she has an easy smile and a quick wit. Able to make a connection with anyone, pun very much intended.
Reposted by Ppallo
We caught you in 240p.. so the matter is not entirely clear
January 11, 2026 at 5:56 PM
We caught you in 240p.. so the matter is not entirely clear
Recently I was challenged to a fight, now I'm no great fighter, so I messaged most of my male acquaintances asking "Are you hard? If so that would be awesome!" referring of course to the British term for a tough guy. I was unsuccessful in finding a champion, but did receive a strange pic from Bill.
January 11, 2026 at 12:11 PM
Recently I was challenged to a fight, now I'm no great fighter, so I messaged most of my male acquaintances asking "Are you hard? If so that would be awesome!" referring of course to the British term for a tough guy. I was unsuccessful in finding a champion, but did receive a strange pic from Bill.
It's very telling that the only posts people pull up from my old blog are either "Rap Sheet? I'm Calling It a Country Music Sheet From Now On" or "Could a Dutchman Ever Headline the Super Bowl Halftime Show?" and not any of my healthy root vegetable smoothie recipes. Whatever fits the narrative.
January 11, 2026 at 12:04 PM
It's very telling that the only posts people pull up from my old blog are either "Rap Sheet? I'm Calling It a Country Music Sheet From Now On" or "Could a Dutchman Ever Headline the Super Bowl Halftime Show?" and not any of my healthy root vegetable smoothie recipes. Whatever fits the narrative.
The same guys who used to comment "Is it really necessary to be shirtless!" on my model railroad reviews, now comment "Shirt AND jacket, those abs aren't hitting like they used to, huh?" They're a small minority, but much like my torso between 2019-2024, they're hard to ignore.
January 9, 2026 at 10:22 PM
The same guys who used to comment "Is it really necessary to be shirtless!" on my model railroad reviews, now comment "Shirt AND jacket, those abs aren't hitting like they used to, huh?" They're a small minority, but much like my torso between 2019-2024, they're hard to ignore.
Reposted by Ppallo
The trees once spoke. The rivers and lakes as well.
Without revealing your actual age,what's something you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand?
January 9, 2026 at 7:39 PM
The trees once spoke. The rivers and lakes as well.
My aunt is upset because apparently my cousin Tina's new boyfriend is a "fell-on". Personally I don't get why and I'm interested to hear what fell on him, I identify as tree fell-on, though of course three light poles, two rocks, and one dead cow and man each have gotten me so far in life.
January 9, 2026 at 12:45 PM
My aunt is upset because apparently my cousin Tina's new boyfriend is a "fell-on". Personally I don't get why and I'm interested to hear what fell on him, I identify as tree fell-on, though of course three light poles, two rocks, and one dead cow and man each have gotten me so far in life.
The Harrows of Locker Hill look down on my family since we are descended from the "Poop Bandit", and it is true grand papa was a feces thief. But it is well known that Balthazar Harrow was his benefactor. It is weirder to be a sponsor of poop burglary, than to be a shit stealer yourself I'd say.
January 9, 2026 at 12:21 PM
The Harrows of Locker Hill look down on my family since we are descended from the "Poop Bandit", and it is true grand papa was a feces thief. But it is well known that Balthazar Harrow was his benefactor. It is weirder to be a sponsor of poop burglary, than to be a shit stealer yourself I'd say.
When I was a child my mom forgot her favourite satchel on the train. I cried and cried because I thought that was where she kept her love for me, and now it was gone. Kids are silly. I should have cried because there was 500k of Big Mike's money in that bag, and he was no joke.
January 9, 2026 at 6:56 AM
When I was a child my mom forgot her favourite satchel on the train. I cried and cried because I thought that was where she kept her love for me, and now it was gone. Kids are silly. I should have cried because there was 500k of Big Mike's money in that bag, and he was no joke.
Reposted by Ppallo
Our wedding planner keeps referring to me as the "heel" of the wedding, my fiancée on the other hand is apparently "the baby-face". It all feels a little combative. I'm supposed to wear a sports jersey of the divisional rival of my fiancee's hometown team to the reception?
July 23, 2023 at 12:47 PM
Our wedding planner keeps referring to me as the "heel" of the wedding, my fiancée on the other hand is apparently "the baby-face". It all feels a little combative. I'm supposed to wear a sports jersey of the divisional rival of my fiancee's hometown team to the reception?
Reposted by Ppallo
I wouldn't cheat on my wife, but I yearn for an illicit thrill, something secret and alive in my life. So we've agreed that I must never do the dishes, that it would be deception most foul. I claim I have a headache, she leaves to run errands, I get the soap from the sock drawer, do a few cups.
January 6, 2026 at 11:57 AM
I wouldn't cheat on my wife, but I yearn for an illicit thrill, something secret and alive in my life. So we've agreed that I must never do the dishes, that it would be deception most foul. I claim I have a headache, she leaves to run errands, I get the soap from the sock drawer, do a few cups.
I wouldn't cheat on my wife, but I yearn for an illicit thrill, something secret and alive in my life. So we've agreed that I must never do the dishes, that it would be deception most foul. I claim I have a headache, she leaves to run errands, I get the soap from the sock drawer, do a few cups.
January 6, 2026 at 11:57 AM
I wouldn't cheat on my wife, but I yearn for an illicit thrill, something secret and alive in my life. So we've agreed that I must never do the dishes, that it would be deception most foul. I claim I have a headache, she leaves to run errands, I get the soap from the sock drawer, do a few cups.
Reposted by Ppallo
Have you seen my cat wizard commission
January 5, 2026 at 3:27 PM
Have you seen my cat wizard commission