Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 1d

You can't bring coloring books across international borders. It's basically like the prime directive

2

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 1d

Guy I chatted with last week was just beaten to death. Fucked

2

Reposted by regular sized ackman

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 2d

I heard anglerfish had his bottom ribs removed so he could suck his own light

1 5 43

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 2d

Guy who thinks Genghis Khan led "mongrel hordes": well I mean yeah it's not like there would have been much market for breeders

4

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 2d

Gandalf: Do you take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks!?

Hobbits (watched him make a stick glow, shoot off fireworks, blow smoke rings, and not much else for 900 pages): I mean... yeah... But they're cool tricks!

2 30

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 8d

Aggrieved father: are you the one who left the ransom note?

Me: [pausing my expert twirling of my diabolo sticks to let out a big sigh] you build a thousand bridges...

2

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 8d

Hey watch this [throwing a framing hammer straight up above our heads as hard as I can]

6

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 8d

Momentarily compressing a horse into an infinitely dense 2-sphere to make a horse diamond, which is like a regular diamond but horse colored

4

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 8d

Kicking a dead gift horse in the mouth to collect its teeth so I can plant them and grow more horses to gift to friends and family for Horsemas

6

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 8d

I met Satan and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

1

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 12d

Sorry when I said I'd be a Spinozist I thought there'd be a lot more whirling and twirling involved. Think I'm gonna take my leave on this one

2

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 12d

1 2

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 12d

President Xi shooting me with a ray from the Gun That Makes You Stub Your Toe

1 2

Reposted by regular sized ackman

mossy ziggurat @lambheart.bsky.social · 25d

(impatiently scrolling through a list of ten evil whales from icelandic folklore and their characteristics) I don't have time for this

25 140

Reposted by regular sized ackman

andy @videogameandy.bsky.social · 13d

Weird noises coming from this grate. Wriggled my fingers through and there is definitely somebody in there

1 1

Reposted by regular sized ackman

Naomi Elizabeth @naomielizabeth.bsky.social · 12d

Done’s cap - when you’ve seen enough

1 2

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 12d

That one weird friend at the Blood Brothers ritual who says he isn't good with blood so maybe instead of cutting yourselves you could all take turns choking each other a little while everyone watches 🤨

4

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 12d

Qui-Gonn: hey you got any other blood sports i could enter my kid in and bet on? Currie was tossing up bricks last night, cost me my parlay and I gotta make it back

6

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 20d

Dunt's Cap

3 3 15

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 22d

They should be called ants eaters. Rarely do you see it eat just one

1 13

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 22d

... and when everyone's a bistro owner/operator... no one is a bistro owner/operator

8

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 22d

Cause of death: incineration, had magnifying glass backwards when trying to light an ant on fire

1 11

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 22d

Peeing on an anthill and the ants climb up the stream and start biting my Tom Johnson like when you pee on an electric fence

10

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 22d

1 4

regular sized ackman @pleas4nt.bsky.social · 22d

The girls are always begging "unleash your spin kick attack on me! I can see you're charging one up. Come on, it will be fun!". Not a chance, girls. I'm saving that for my wedding night

9