Randy
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randyiv.bsky.social
Randy
@randyiv.bsky.social
It doesn’t have to be like this.
Pinned
All the shit I wanna say is illegal.
Banana President
January 3, 2026 at 5:40 PM
It never, ever, not once in all of everything thunk a thought.
January 2, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Is phpbb an app? Can we do that again? I liked that.
January 2, 2026 at 3:36 AM
I hate how you can hear people’s eyeballs just flopping around in their skulls. Just little wet meat things making all those sounds.
January 2, 2026 at 3:33 AM
It’s all so quiet now. The smell of powder persists. Paper rustles against the curb when the wind blows. There’s a few bangs and thumps in the distance. Boyhood desires cast about, finding their ends in a pop and a little smoke.
January 1, 2026 at 8:03 AM
Steak sauce is great. On fries.
December 25, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Reposted by Randy
oh the weather outside is frightful
the lack of snow is not delightful
the temperature's way too high
we're gonna die, gonna die, gonna die
December 22, 2025 at 9:01 PM
The center will not hold. It’s coming apart faster than they can grasp at it.

Scary times.
December 22, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Man, you gotta quit the first time they try to kill a story like this. You don’t get to quit the fifth time, or when it’s your story. You gotta sack up and walk now or you lose mountains of unrecoverable respect every single day after.

Heroes and disappointments coming with the sunrise.
December 22, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Reposted by Randy
December 19, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Do not build churches to people.

Those foundations are always made of sand. Eventually you are forced to stand in the wreckage and admit it or deny the destruction exists as it crashes down around you.
December 15, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The older I get, the less is required of someone for me to consider them a reasonable person.

I do not know if this is reflective of the man or the times. Perhaps one has driven the other to the edge of this particular quarry and encouraged his compatriot to look down, down, down into the abyss.
December 12, 2025 at 1:37 AM
This. But about sandwich cheese.
"This guy has elite stuff but can't throw strikes" then he doesn't have elite stuff
December 10, 2025 at 10:41 PM
We’re all watching the coyote run in mid-air, just waiting for it to look down.
November 30, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Huh.
November 22, 2025 at 1:39 AM
I would eat cottage cheese more if it was nacho flavored. Cottage flavor sucks.
November 18, 2025 at 1:27 AM
It’s like I’m 16 all over again.
There are seriously people on here saying trump didnt slob on Clinton's knob. As if we as a nation weren't primed to notice who has and hasn't sucked that man's dick. Trump clearly has.
November 17, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Much like pro wrestling, it is possible for all sides to lose and for that uniform loss to be the best possible outcome.

What a wild couple days. Bet it gets crazier from here.
November 15, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Why does Wolverine have dead girlfriends like he’s trying to write Mambo No. 6?
November 13, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I can’t remember the last time I saw a flock of birds.
November 13, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Are we frothing yet? It feels very frothy out there.
November 13, 2025 at 2:51 AM
I want a Dick Pill that just turns me into different guys named Richard.
November 11, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Total Eclipse of the Heart is a bullshit song title. It’s always dark in there. For everyone. If it’s not dark, you’re dying. No one has a sun and a moon in their chest Bonnie, that’s crazy talk.
November 7, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I feel like you can’t swim in lemon custard. There’s just no ability to float.

However, the medium of custard is liquid enough that it MAY be possible to drown.

So, in conclusion, an Olympic diving pool of lemon custard may be the perfect trap.
November 2, 2025 at 7:28 PM
So many people tonight get to have the age old argument:

“I am NOT taking candy from our child! I am PURCHASING a Butterfinger from the vendor in my living room!”

Followed by, “He could’ve chosen to keep the chocolate! He wanted the $10! No I don’t consider it bribery, I consider it Capitalism!”
October 31, 2025 at 6:58 PM