Janel Comeau 🍁
@verybadllama.bsky.social
Writer, comedian, illustrator, blogger and international woman of mystery. Sworn enemy of the Swedish Yule Goat. Writer of jokes in The Beaverton and Cracked. 🇨🇦
I've seen people say that getting attached to ChatGPT is like "believing the stripper really loves you", but that's not true. It's more like believing that the dryer personally composed that little jingle on a lonely sockless night just to win your affections.
November 26, 2025 at 1:55 AM
I've seen people say that getting attached to ChatGPT is like "believing the stripper really loves you", but that's not true. It's more like believing that the dryer personally composed that little jingle on a lonely sockless night just to win your affections.
Reposted by Janel Comeau 🍁
God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
For some songs like old Yoda talk
About that Christmas Day
Let nothing you dismay
For some songs like old Yoda talk
About that Christmas Day
November 25, 2025 at 9:00 AM
God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
For some songs like old Yoda talk
About that Christmas Day
Let nothing you dismay
For some songs like old Yoda talk
About that Christmas Day
as a Canadian, I’ve never been able to wrap my mind around the idea of garbage disposals. what do you mean the right to bear arms also applies to your sink.
November 24, 2025 at 4:33 AM
as a Canadian, I’ve never been able to wrap my mind around the idea of garbage disposals. what do you mean the right to bear arms also applies to your sink.
I think the Americans have the right idea putting a major holiday in between Halloween and Christmas. Join me this week, fellow Canadians, as we celebrate in the inaugural Feast of Mr. Dressup. We will eat ketchup chips with puppets and hold the Christmas music at bay.
November 23, 2025 at 3:16 AM
I think the Americans have the right idea putting a major holiday in between Halloween and Christmas. Join me this week, fellow Canadians, as we celebrate in the inaugural Feast of Mr. Dressup. We will eat ketchup chips with puppets and hold the Christmas music at bay.
Reposted by Janel Comeau 🍁
I would not, could not, in my docs
Please get out of Firefox
I would not, could not, on the phone
Please just leave my calls alone
I will not, will not, even free
LLMs, just leave me be!
Please get out of Firefox
I would not, could not, on the phone
Please just leave my calls alone
I will not, will not, even free
LLMs, just leave me be!
I do not like your AI slop
I do not want this worthless glop
I do not read its overviews
I don't care what Grok says is true
I do not like it here nor there
I'm tired of it everywhere
I do not want this worthless glop
I do not read its overviews
I don't care what Grok says is true
I do not like it here nor there
I'm tired of it everywhere
November 22, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I would not, could not, in my docs
Please get out of Firefox
I would not, could not, on the phone
Please just leave my calls alone
I will not, will not, even free
LLMs, just leave me be!
Please get out of Firefox
I would not, could not, on the phone
Please just leave my calls alone
I will not, will not, even free
LLMs, just leave me be!
I do not like your AI slop
I do not want this worthless glop
I do not read its overviews
I don't care what Grok says is true
I do not like it here nor there
I'm tired of it everywhere
I do not want this worthless glop
I do not read its overviews
I don't care what Grok says is true
I do not like it here nor there
I'm tired of it everywhere
November 22, 2025 at 1:15 AM
I do not like your AI slop
I do not want this worthless glop
I do not read its overviews
I don't care what Grok says is true
I do not like it here nor there
I'm tired of it everywhere
I do not want this worthless glop
I do not read its overviews
I don't care what Grok says is true
I do not like it here nor there
I'm tired of it everywhere
my mom finally convinced my dad to go thrifting with her and he found the greatest thrift store find of all time on his very first try
November 19, 2025 at 10:16 PM
my mom finally convinced my dad to go thrifting with her and he found the greatest thrift store find of all time on his very first try
when you call a Canadian hotline and you have to press 2 for English
November 18, 2025 at 9:45 PM
when you call a Canadian hotline and you have to press 2 for English
Really can't overstate how rancid you have to be to make young women lose interest in relationships. When was 21 I moved in with a man whose only employment was freelance unicycling because I thought it might be fun to teach him table manners like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
November 18, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Really can't overstate how rancid you have to be to make young women lose interest in relationships. When was 21 I moved in with a man whose only employment was freelance unicycling because I thought it might be fun to teach him table manners like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
Reposted by Janel Comeau 🍁
It needs to be emphasized that this paragraph is about Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
November 17, 2025 at 3:43 PM
It needs to be emphasized that this paragraph is about Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
setting “not now kitten, daddy’s busy” as my out-of-office message at work
November 17, 2025 at 2:11 AM
setting “not now kitten, daddy’s busy” as my out-of-office message at work
I've given it some thought, and I think the funniest possible outcome is if they somehow decide to impeach Bill Clinton again
November 15, 2025 at 6:08 AM
I've given it some thought, and I think the funniest possible outcome is if they somehow decide to impeach Bill Clinton again
It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.
November 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.
when I travel back in time to 2016 and people ask if the candidate who wins the election is the one who has been sexually intimate with Bill Clinton
November 15, 2025 at 1:26 AM
when I travel back in time to 2016 and people ask if the candidate who wins the election is the one who has been sexually intimate with Bill Clinton
my main form of exercise is owning an older dog who takes just long enough to wake up from a nap that my FitBit thinks I've started a workout
November 14, 2025 at 11:44 PM
my main form of exercise is owning an older dog who takes just long enough to wake up from a nap that my FitBit thinks I've started a workout
Remember 5 years ago when people thought there were coded messages in the Wayfair catalogue so elites could traffick children in giant cabinets? Anyway it turns out they just send emails like "hey it's me, your best buddy Pedophile Jeff, come do sex crimes at my house"
November 13, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Remember 5 years ago when people thought there were coded messages in the Wayfair catalogue so elites could traffick children in giant cabinets? Anyway it turns out they just send emails like "hey it's me, your best buddy Pedophile Jeff, come do sex crimes at my house"
he was a boy
she was a girl
can I make it any more obvious?
he went to work
she stole his plums
forgive her, they're cold and she wanted them
she was a girl
can I make it any more obvious?
he went to work
she stole his plums
forgive her, they're cold and she wanted them
November 13, 2025 at 1:41 AM
he was a boy
she was a girl
can I make it any more obvious?
he went to work
she stole his plums
forgive her, they're cold and she wanted them
she was a girl
can I make it any more obvious?
he went to work
she stole his plums
forgive her, they're cold and she wanted them
American PSA: don't do drugs, kids, they're bad for you!
Canadian PSA: we locked the most insane people we know in a room with a sheet of acid and a box of puppets, here's all the worst deaths they could think of
Canadian PSA: we locked the most insane people we know in a room with a sheet of acid and a box of puppets, here's all the worst deaths they could think of
November 12, 2025 at 3:08 AM
American PSA: don't do drugs, kids, they're bad for you!
Canadian PSA: we locked the most insane people we know in a room with a sheet of acid and a box of puppets, here's all the worst deaths they could think of
Canadian PSA: we locked the most insane people we know in a room with a sheet of acid and a box of puppets, here's all the worst deaths they could think of
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance
November 11, 2025 at 8:57 PM
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance use counselling through the sailors' union
Refer him for substance
as a kid I honestly thought that the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was about something that happened in the 1800s, dying in a maritime disaster on Lake Superior just does not seem like the kind of thing that can happen to people who heard Supertramp on the radio
November 10, 2025 at 8:39 PM
as a kid I honestly thought that the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was about something that happened in the 1800s, dying in a maritime disaster on Lake Superior just does not seem like the kind of thing that can happen to people who heard Supertramp on the radio
Reposted by Janel Comeau 🍁
boy are you the gales of november because you definitely came early
girl are you the Edmund Fitzgerald because you’ve definitely gone down with 29 men
November 10, 2025 at 4:39 PM
boy are you the gales of november because you definitely came early
girl are you the Edmund Fitzgerald because you’ve definitely gone down with 29 men
November 10, 2025 at 4:37 PM
girl are you the Edmund Fitzgerald because you’ve definitely gone down with 29 men
Americans gathering their great-grandchildren to tell them the tale of the mortgage they are about to inherit
November 9, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Americans gathering their great-grandchildren to tell them the tale of the mortgage they are about to inherit
these two characters are played by the same actress, and I like to imagine that when they were casting The Ring, their immediate first thought was “someone find out what the little girl from Lilo and Stitch is up to”
November 9, 2025 at 7:57 PM
these two characters are played by the same actress, and I like to imagine that when they were casting The Ring, their immediate first thought was “someone find out what the little girl from Lilo and Stitch is up to”