Late contender for Least Shocking News of the Year

I once thought that, but nowadays it's likely to just be twelve minutes longer with footage that adds little to the original

She looks great but tell us more about the dog!

My source was... uh, a bird puppet.
youtu.be/ClVOQB6lAHE?...

I hear they changed jizz wailing to something else, which is a bummer but will not get in the way of this excellent card

I should check it out (exclamation mark!)

No, sorry for the confusion. I'm talking about the Aronofsky biblical b.s. with Jennifer Lawrence from the mid 2010s

I'm a Dodger fan looking forward to Diaz on the team, but honestly the best part about the song was how cute Mr and Mrs Met made it.

"Mother!"

Went in blind and as soon as I realized what was happening, my heart sank. Never have I seen a more dull, literal-minded excuse for a metaphor. It's the cinematic equivalent of a seventh-grader's poetry.

Yes!

There's a decent chance that in 2026 I might actually enjoy "I Love Trouble" or "Who's That Girl?"

I grew up with the canonical knowledge that "Bonfire of the Vanities" was one of the worst movies ever made, but I didn't actually see it until a few years ago, and all I could think was "yeah, this is dumb as shit, but it looks fucking incredible."