Rubin Safaya
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safaya.cinemalogue.com
Rubin Safaya
@safaya.cinemalogue.com
Mal vivant. Tech devangelist. Critic. Misanthrope.

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(Left) Ophelia at 7. I had a breakdown at work, and had to drive home to know she was ok. That was 9 years, 2 carcinomas, pancreatitis, gastroenteritis & proteinuria ago.

(Right) This weekend. Did I mention she's blind AND deaf?

Whenever you're down, think of Ofie. She loves and believes in you.
JESUS CHRIST STRANGER THINGS IS SO. FUCKING. BORING.
December 26, 2025 at 2:03 PM
To all those who celebrate, Happy Co-Opted Pagan Solstice!
December 25, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Ok THIS would have been hilarious....

Also, how desperate is Disney they have to bring back the character they completely pissed all over?

Almost sounds like a plot for a sitcom: He like to punch Nazis. She recruited them! Coming this summer: AVENGERS: THE ODD COUPLE!
Turns out the Doomsday teaser was missing some VO from Chris Evans!
December 23, 2025 at 8:49 PM
There was a douchebro in high school who used to make fun of my thick Indian hair.

Now he has none. This is for you, Ryan.
December 22, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Ok first of all, there is no ODYSSEY without Vangelis (Evanghelos ODYSSEUS Papathanassiou).

Second... We don't need Nolan to double down on this by trying to Villeneuvify what should be a spectacular epic.

BROWNS AND BEIGE... BROWNS AND BEIIIIIIGE...
December 22, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Watching MOONRAKER and realizing it's just a matter of time before our billionaire goons have, you know, the thing where they have their übermensch trainees are doing calisthenics and martial arts out in the courtyard.
December 20, 2025 at 4:43 PM
If you're still having trouble figuring out that the "good guy" in this equation is a Muslim without a gun, you need your head examined.

Glad to see the cops were keeping a safe distance in case, you know, any of them were to get in harms way... 🙄

It doesn't get any clearer than this.
WATCH: Bystander disarms active shooter at Bondi Beach in Sydney
December 14, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Removable media is the new answering machine in movies. Gotta get the thing from here to there, and can't have the characters just teleporting it across the internets... even in a movie in which cyberspace is depicted as a physically traversable thing...
a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair with his hands in the air
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair with his hands in the air
media.tenor.com
December 2, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Well, it was a nice planet while it lasted.
Trump: "I took my physical. I got all As. Everything. But they said to me, 'would you like to take a cognitive test?' I said, 'Is it hard?' They said, 'yes.' I said, 'Well, I'm a very smart person. Who was the last president to take one?' 'No president has ever agreed to take one' ... I aced it."
December 2, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Wow I fucking hate the new Mac OS look.
December 1, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Reading a Verge article from 2019 about the (now discontinued) Nike Hyperadapt... it just reads like an ad for Nike. When did journalists lay down and die? The new breed are nothing but fanwanker stenographers.
December 1, 2025 at 2:02 AM
@todayshow.com website cowering at the feet of the Kartrashians... The rich trying to use the media as their personal PR management system is Exhibit A on why they just need to take their fragile fucking egos and go the fuck away forever.
November 29, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Behold, the Sword of Power! Excalibur! For anyone waiting for things from me, this is why: my brain has been consumed by John Boorman and Excalibur, both of them dear to my heart. The restoration is stunning, and finally presents the film in the right aspect ratio on home video... 🧵1/8
November 28, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Trump's approval is spiraling, just like Bannon and Elon and all the others whispering shit into Trump's ear, Miller's policies are a complete failure.

Miller is finding out the hard way that nobody is putting up with his shit.

As the great John Amos once said, "This is America, Jack."
If Stephen Miller truly believes what he says, he needs to depart the United States immediately. His own family immigrated to the USA and they are not afraid to say so...
www.nytimes.com/2018/08/13/u...
Stephen Miller’s Uncle Calls Him a Hypocrite in an Online Essay (Published 2018)
www.nytimes.com
November 28, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Doing my duty as an Indian-American on Black Friday.

Long before Americans got into Bollywood (for all the wrong reasons), Amrish Puri conquered American screens with his presence as Khan in Attenborough's GANDHI and as the greatest villain ever, Mola Ram, in INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM.
November 28, 2025 at 10:30 PM
EXT. NIGHT - Vecna menaces menacingly.

The Duffer Brothers don't get my childhood (it wasn't theirs) and neither does Disney.
The Duffer Brothers say Vecna’s entrance in ‘Stranger Things 5’ was inspired by Darth Vader’s hallway scene in ‘Rogue One’
November 28, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Mujahideen 2: Electric Boogaloo
The DC shooting story is really getting to me because we literally trained this man as a child soldier for a death squad in a forever war and Stephen Miller et al want to blame it on other cultures? It's our culture, American culture, that killed that woman.
November 28, 2025 at 4:38 PM
As if STRANGER THINGS wasn't already a cheap nostalgia grab, they already pull me out of it with the HMMWV (aka "Humvee") which didn't enter into combat service until 1989.
November 27, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Sadly, I keep getting vindicated: when studios realized 20 years ago that they couldn’t keep press out they just proceeded to buy up the aggregators and woo “influencer” bloggers with little journalistic credibility. Periodically it blew up in their face (Harry Knowles) but overall they won.
Me when I find out that the press screening of KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR, being held at the theater that's showing in in 70mm, two days before it opens there in 70mm, will not be in 70mm
November 23, 2025 at 1:48 PM
And if you then go back to 1955, where Lorraine has a crush on Marty, it begins to sound like a story problem, "In the Federal District Court of Hill Valley, would Lorraine's advances be considered legal?"
Ok so in BACK TO THE FUTURE: PART III, Maggie McFly looks exactly like Lorraine McFly ... which implies that Lorraine and George are inbreeders. And Marty is therefore simultaneously Lorraine's son and third cousin.
November 23, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Ok so in BACK TO THE FUTURE: PART III, Maggie McFly looks exactly like Lorraine McFly ... which implies that Lorraine and George are inbreeders. And Marty is therefore simultaneously Lorraine's son and third cousin.
November 23, 2025 at 1:34 AM
BACK TO THE FUTURE II... Nobody ever commends Griff on the diversity of his hoverboard gang.
November 22, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Putting it on the list!
^ If you live in or near Dallas, the name of the restaurant is La Comida. It's in Oak Cliff, roughly at Beckley and Zang. It's truly a neighborhood restaurant and the guys who own it, Ivan and Mario Urtecho, are lovely human beings who get to know every regular customer. Tell them Matt sent you.
November 22, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Watching Ken Burns' THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. They're talking about Fleet Admiral William Howe and his brother, General Richard Howe, and, despite leading, respectively, the British Navy and American Army, all I can think is how much their parents must have hated them to name them Willie and Dick.
November 18, 2025 at 10:32 PM
This is a better Weekend Update joke than any joke ever told by Michael Che or Colin Jost on Weekend Update.
I love that if I type in "Colin Jost" into a search bar the first thing that comes up is Scarlett Johansson, not Colin Jost.
November 15, 2025 at 2:02 PM